(look at my outher questions to see more about my struggle with this battle to save my chinds life) She has told me that if i loved her uncundishanly that i wouldnt leave her but can i stay with a person who murders my 1st unbron but still alive child.
2006-11-18 21:29:12 · 18 answers · asked by Lil_Ron 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Here's the thing- she isn't ready to have a baby and you shouldn't push her to have it. But if she doesn't have it and it hurts you- than you should leave. No matter what happens now- you both won't make it together anyways. If she has the baby- she will hate you and if she doesn't have it- than you will hate her. So- you mine as well end your relationship now. You two are obviously not in love or you would be able to work it out. Is that how you really want to raise a child?? Good luck!
2006-11-18 23:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your predicament. Unfortunately it is her decision but it is also your decision to not want to be with her if she doesn't respect your wishes. I think you need have a chat to her about why she doesn't want the baby. Maybe you can show her somehow that you will support her and that it will be ok. I also think you need to explain to her that it is your baby too and she is being unfair if she is not taking your feelings into consideration. There really isn't anything else you can do. If having a baby is such a terrible thing then you really shouldn't have sex in the first place, no contraception is 100%. Also, an abortion might affect her chances of conceiving in the future - has she thought about that? Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.
2006-11-19 11:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, in this country, all adults are granted the right to leave their medical concerns private. This includes the right for women to get an abortion without concerning the father in this matter. You cannot go to court to have it stopped or any of that, because women have a right to have medical matters kept between them and their doctors. Ultimately, this decision is out of your hands. Again, you have absolutely no case if you take this to court. She would be acting completely within the bounds of the law to have an abortion even if you didn't want her to have one.
Sadly to say, I think this relationship has met its end unless she comes to terms on her own will to keep the child and raise it with you. I would urge you to discuss with her that you would like to remain the primary caretaker for this child, and that you would gladly allow her to give up all parental rights upon the birth of the child and you can care for it by yourself. There is nothing more you can do. Very sorry :(
In the future, I'd advise you to talk about this before getting sexual with any other partners, so it doesn't come down to this. Then you can just avoid having sex with those who will not be interested in raising a child with you.
2006-11-19 08:48:15 · answer #3 · answered by antheia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a guy friend who went through the same thing as you are going through except the girl ended up leaving him and got the abortion anyways and he was willing to take care of the child by himself if should would carry to term. if she doesn't seem to care what you think then i believe you should contact a lawyer and try to fight for father's rights and see if you can care for the child yourself. but if you are going to do it then do it soon cause you may not have much time if your already arguing about it. i totally agree with you when you say it is murder cause whether the pregnancy was planned or not this child did not ask to be brought and now that is developing it should have the chance to experience the world and life with or without it's mother. as long as the child has you, it can have a happy life and why take that aways from someone who doesn't even have a say in their own life yet. good luck and i hope all works out for you.
2006-11-19 06:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She would not be "murdering a child". In order for it to be a child it would have to be BORN and an abortion isn't done on a BORN child...for it to be "murder" the person has to be BORN, you can't murder that which is not BORN. An abortion is the termination of a pregnacy, a pregnancy is NOT a BORN person. She has chosen not be used as an incubator, she will probably be much better off without you in the long run anyway.
2006-11-19 05:43:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's ultimately her choice. You've explained your reasons why you don't want her to have an abortion, but it's her body. If she doesn't feel ready and doesn't think it's a good idea, then it should be up to her. If you can't be with her because of this, then so be it. Your relationship wasn't that strong to begin with. You two should have discussed the prospect of children, and the likely course of action you would take if she was to get pregnant.
Take this as your lesson to know better next time.
2006-11-19 07:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by Morning Glory 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its her body she can do what she wants, you can ask her to carry the baby to term and then you can be the only parent and let her get on with her life. You both should have thought twice before getting pregnant in the first place. This baby didnt ask to be conceived. I have two different ideas about abortion I think it should only be performed if the pregnancy is threatening the life of the mother or incest.Try and talk to her, its worth a shot.Good luck
2006-11-19 06:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by sweetneesy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking a lot of her. If you dont like it leave her- she doesnt need a constant reminder that you disaprove of her decision any way.
If she has the baby- then she has to force herself to care for it and she will resent it. Also- it forces her to have a permanent relationship with you. Are you willing to take full responsibility for a child? A child is raised best with two loving parents that are secure in thier relationship- if there is any doubt in her abilities to provide that then she has the right to terminate.
2006-11-19 07:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by jeweledfruit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with those saying to take her to court. Yes it is her body but you helped make the baby growing inside her. Therefore, you have a say in what happens to the baby. Use this in court...if things were the other way around and it was you that wanted the abortion and she that wanted to keep the baby....would you be in court right then? No. She'd have the baby and them hem you up for child support. So, take her to court....she have the baby and then hem her up for child support. And yes, I am a female. A pregnant female glad to be having a baby with my husband.
2006-11-19 08:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by acveach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she says she wants a family with you later on, she is most likely never going to be able to forget and possibly get over having this one aborted. I pray for both of you that at your age, and with your financial stability and the strength that your relationship seems to be, that you are blessed with a child soon. Best of luck
2006-11-19 06:21:23 · answer #10 · answered by Magnifique 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋