Do you agree with this or Disagree and WHY??? discuss?

Question

Of all the lies we're fed on which we gorge in our comfort-addicted world, none is more insidious than the lie of romance, the seductive but infantile notion that somewhere there exists someone to complement us in every way - someone who will make us complete. Of course, this illusion keeps us from ever being complete in and of ourselves, and eventually encourages us to despise our shortcomings, our flaws, everything in which our humanity lies: our humanity, without which, of course, we are nothing

Answer 1

I both agree and disagree.
First I agree with the intellectual insights and observations. And if it were as simple as whats laid out in the paragraph, there is little room for argument. Its the presentation that I think (I hope?) is flawed. The assumption is that we are looking for someone who will complement us in every way as we are presently. Not all the emotional factors are addressed. The element of humanity and human need, play, sexuality, love, ROMANCE, and myriad other category headers such as these are unable to be addressed with something so simple, so common, so vulgar, if you will, as logic and even intellect.
We can no more define (with the greatest intellects) the emotion of Love then we can explain why only humans feel guilt. Perhaps that's why so many brilliant minds have the same difficulty finding love and happiness as do the non intellectuals. True love is an level playing field it would seem.

The logical fact is that we shouldn't even WANT someone who completely compliments us. Because we as people, as men and women ,grow with age and experience. Admittedly some more than others.. Not only physically but in every way a human can grow. (I'm trying to keep this short) As we grow, the possibility of growth in different directions rears its ugly head.
Follow me?

The truth is no one has any real answers. If we look to couples who seem to have found the holy grail in terms of happiness together. (I'm proud to say I'm one of them) The common denominator seems to be ( of all things) faith. Before anyone stops reading, I'm not talking about religious faith. Although I've never found that to hurt either.) I mean that child-like, inexplicable (by either adult reason or sensibility), willingness to believe in something with all your heart.
Add to that, no initial expectations of anyone completing anyone else, or anyone being responsible for any one Else's level of satisfaction with life.
Factor in the hard work, self sacrifice and willingness to change oneself repeatedly for the sake of what you both so illogically, so passionately, so cooperatively stoke , the fragile fire of love.

And therein, I believe, lies the true essence of the humanity you speak of. I am not the same man I was when I married. I have changed considerably, so has my wife. And I will continue to allow that evolutionary process to manifest itself for as long as god allows me to have her in my care. It will defy my own thought process, it will scare the hell out of me at times, it will challenge my personal beliefs, strain my vision of all things "me". And I will let it happen over and over again. Not because it makes sense. Because I believe. In Love and all the things I so poorly expressed in the preceding sentences.
I hope you'll try to understand what I'm trying to convey here, and I hope theres a modicum of positivity you can take from that and apply in whichever way to your own life.
I'll leave you with this last thought I just had.
Isn't it interesting that our ability to have and enjoy something so simple and wonderful as love is increasingly difficult to acheive as more and more people turn away form the churches. Could the lack of faith, in one form or another be the contributing factor?
I'm not a religious man, but I do remember that "Satan's" plan was to conceal, twist, complicate and otherwise confound the truth so that we couldn't see it anymore. Could FAITH be the secret to life? Just a notion.


I wish you every good thing in life.

Answer 2

I disagree, but this maybe true for some. Theres an old saying "don't take yourself to seriously", I always try to remember this. I never dwell on my shortcomings for I am the son of what I feel are great parents and a loving God. Most guys could care less about romance, we just want to make the girls happy because we know this is what you like. And I do believe that God has made someone special for you. You have came across them at some point in your life, the sad thing is that you may have not noticed them because you were caught in the lies of vanity and they slipped through your fingertips. You now know through experience and failure, the next time you get the opprtunity to have someone special, don't miss it. Good Luck to you.

Answer 3

I believe there is someone for everyone, but I don't believe that person will complete me. I am complete as I am and I feel we all have to be complete as ourselves before we find the "one". I don't believe romance is a lie. We as humans need intimacy w/ someone and to make a relationship last is actually an accomplishment. Especially since men and women have such differences.

Answer 4

It sounds like a problem to me. I don't feel that way at all. Incidentally, this is a questions and answers site. Not a discussion forum.
I guess I disagree.
It takes years to develop a relationship of love and trust. Many hurdles and problems have to be overcome. It isn't something that falls in your lap. Not many people have the commitment to last out through the hard times. They just go searching for the short term easy fix when it gets hard. It's sad. There is the perfect person out there, but no one wants to work to get to that point any more.

Answer 5

Romance is one of the most beautiful things in our stage of evolution, How dare you criticise a beautiful rose! There is a flaw in your concept of romance. The completion of the other is only temporary, notice the best love stories end badly? one ends heartbroken for the rest of their life, but it is so wonderful despite this, that is why it shocks us, it opens us to feel and be more alive than ever.......

Answer 6

Depends.
Girls are just as guilty.

For example, girls want the guy who opens doors and is sweet and does all those nice things, but girls don't return the favor. They don't want to cook or clean or do what a guy considers "girl work" because we want to be independent.

So girls have to give and take.

You want to be seduced? Then you do what makes a guy seduce you.

I am VERY independent in life, but when I am in a relationship, I do the wifey thing. Guys like girls that take care of them.

I'm not dumbing myself down, but if you want a guy to look like Brad Pitt and act like Prince Charming, you gotta wear the Victoria Secrets and be Mrs. Brady.

Answer 7

I agree, never actually looked at it in that way ,but it makes perfect sense. According to maslow only 10% of the population reaches the top of the chart, purely based on their insufficiency to find a commitable and fulfilling relationship.

Answer 8

It's sorta hard to "discuss" things in this forum.

I don't agree, although a few years ago, I would have. I got blindsided by love a few years back; haven't been the same ever since.

Who knows, maybe it'll happen to you one day too! :)

Answer 9

i get attitude all the time because i have said i don't believe in romantic love... i think its bull sh** i don't believe there's a perfect someone out there for me. If i have a soulmate he is not on this planet. i have never been"hurt " in love, just bored with the games. i don't need anyone else. i'm great on my own

Answer 10

Are you talking about love?


Humans need love.


Say it simply -- There are a lot of people who're going to be, "dar, war did da burd go george?"