I've been married for a year now. My husband seems like he is not really going anywhere with his life. I think I'm just growing out of him. Is it wrong to feel like this? Should I get out?
2006-11-18 20:18:15 · 24 answers · asked by Mamma Muscles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When things stop being 'romantic' or 'new' and when people start to change a little or things get difficult in a marriage everyone is ready to throw in the towel and end the marriage. If that's all it takes for you to quit, you must not have had a very good reason to get married in the first place. How about you stand back from your life for a minute and take in what you are saying here and see if it is really worth it. Give it a work, no matter who you marry in life, if you have this attitude, you will never be happy.
2006-11-18 20:24:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
MM, you have been married only a year now, and you are already bored ? When you got married to him did he have a steady job, cos' I assume you are hinting at his career which is not going anywhere. Or is it the relationship that is not getting anywhere.....?
No marriage is perfect. You know that ofcourse, and no marriage would work without some work on it. If he is not really getting anywhere with his life, do you know why that coudl be ? Have you made efforts to put it all straight ? Have you been the key person, the only person, with whom he can depend on emotionally, and perhaps get inspired to get better things in life. You are only growing out of him, without any efforts from your part, is really sad, and that too just after a year. One year is a short time. The one question is ''Do you love him ?'', Love him enough to stand by him, fight through the struggle, helping him to be successful, and you too achieving in your own way ? I feel one year is a small time to even say you have grown out of him.
The choice is yours. No one can stop you from getting out, or making an effort over this marriage. By the way, what are you doing with your career, and what efforts have you taken to help him with his life ? Your question sounds like your just tired, wiht no efforts taken. The best thing is to try and help him, work things out, and then if it still does not work, talk it out with him, and lead your own life after that. Everyone deserves a chance. Do not be judgemental about him, when you have not even tried. And if you have, probably you should realise that one year is a short time to decide whether it worked.
Goodluck
2006-11-18 20:27:39 · answer #2 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first question to you would be why did you marry him?? And if your answer to my question would be "cuz you love him" than there is only thing i can tell you... love and boring never go together!!! But since you already said that your bored of your marriage than you married him not cuz of love.... but you had an affection for him... attraction etc was not love!!!
The other thing you said that your husband does not seemed to get anywhere with his life!!! What are you doing than?? when you married him you took some vows are you really doing as your said you would when you married him.... that you would be right next to him in every situation of life helping each other!!!!
my dear marriage is not a child's game that if look that things are not going well you quit!!! To build a strong and happy marriage you have to work for it.... nothing comes for free... even roses have thorns!!! you have to go thru it!!!
If you see that your husband is not getting anywhere in life than its your turn to go over and talk to him see where the problem lays and try to fix it together!! you may never know that there may be something bothering you husband and he is not able to talk about it to anyone... he may be needing you more rite at this point but your not there.... cuz your planning on quitting!!!!!
No marriage is perfect, every marriage has its ups and downs... fighting, yelling.... etc but its part of the package dear.... without these things in life or any relationship for that matter..... would be kind of no fun you know.... it kind of spice things up.... you fight and than an hour later you kiss and make up... this is how you get to know a person better day by day and this is what makes things always interesting....
i would suggest that its your turn to do your part and go to your husband and talk to him see what is going on..... he is not just your husband he is your best friend so talk to him like a friend maybe he is needing a friend more than a wife at that point!!
Best of luck!!
2006-11-18 20:58:04 · answer #3 · answered by Pari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Marriage is such a sacred promise to me.
I am amazed at couples that have been married 65 years, and have 10 kids and 35 grandchildren.......
Aren't you? Sure that was a different generation.
But what is marriage for?
Ask yourself this question.
Some people "dream" of a happy marriage.
I'm sorry, but all my life I've always viewed marriage as sacred.
Apparently others do not, and without (or even with) children, It doesn't matter when divorce is such a convenient option.
Your husband and you need to spend more time together really talking.... this is YOUR MARRIAGE.
It sounds like you both got married to soon.
Sorry...
Good luck.
Think twice the next time.
2006-11-18 20:30:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Dave 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to tell you the truth I think you are very wrong and lost there comes a time when the marriage is shaky but that doesn't mean to call it all off. When you got married you made a promise to him and yourself you should keep it. Think about if you only been married for what 1 year and already you want to back out, you shouldn't even got married then. Maybe you were to young at the time or was just lost.
2006-11-18 21:03:51 · answer #5 · answered by *(Jazzle)* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you got into marriage with the idea that 'I can always get a divorce.' That's despicable. You shouldn't have gotten married in the first place if you think you can just get out anytime you want to, it's people like you that make the statistics so horrible.
My advice is to tell him how you feel and go from there, but you should have already KNOWN the answer to this question.
2006-11-18 20:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by kenniemcooper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I've been with the same guy for 14 years, and it will only get worse as time goes on. The first thing you need to do is to try and talk to him. If he is willing to listen and does whatever he has to do to save his marriage I think he would be a keeper. However, if he is not willing to do what needs to be done to save the marriage and continues to be the same way, you should consider getting out. And do it soon, don't wait for 14 years and two children later.
2006-11-18 20:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by tracey b 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. When people commit to each other in a marriage, it should stay a marriage. I find it very sad that people divorce over that. Maybe spruce up romance, or go on a date with him. Liven things up a bit. Marriage takes work for some, and that is just the way it should be.
2006-11-18 20:22:05 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember your marriage vows...in sickness or in health...richer or poorer...and etc. Marriage is not all a bed of roses to everyone. Others underwent so many trials in their married life...but at the end they succeeded because they never give up...the more trials they encountered the stronger they become and the wiser they prove to be. So, if they can ...why can't you? Just believe in yourself and you too will make it...and attain success in your marriage.
2006-11-18 20:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by dimma59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is making u so bored exactly?....did u know his life wasnt goin anywhere before u married him?..........these are the questions u should ask urself. but no! dont get out of it, find out whats worng and discuss it with him, and see what his responses will be. but marriage is a commitment to each other, not a game. so just because its not goin good now, it will later, with time and patience
2006-11-18 20:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by cute L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋