A little over 5 years ago I was engaged to be married. I found out I was 3 months pregnant and then 2 days later my ex told me he cheated on me. Less then a week later I had a miscarriage before I had a chance to tell my fiance about the baby. We broke-up and I met a wonderful man that I've been married to for 2.5 years. He knows about my ex and the baby. Recently I ran into my ex and we've been talking via email. There's absolutly nothing there and never will be but I feel I need to tell him about the baby. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I'm still healing from all the pain I've been through. I think telling him will bury the past once and for all, but I don't know if it's worth opening that can of worms. What should I do?
2006-11-18 19:45:59 · 17 answers · asked by Nikkio 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I just emailed my ex. I didn't tell him about the baby, and I told him I won't be talking to him anymore. Thanks for all your answers.
2006-11-18 20:21:10 · update #1
i think it would be wise to ask your hubby what is his opion about all of this first before asking other peoples opinion. since he already know everything about your past, and i think his ok with it, give your man the respect, by asking for his help his your problem. but for me i dont think it would be wise to tell your ex about the baby, for it will definitely open doors for a questions and if i were your husband i would definitely dont want you to get too involved with your past specially with what happened to you and your ex. but thats just me. . . the best thing you can do is to pray for God's guidance. goodluck and GODBLESS to you and your family.
2006-11-18 19:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling your ex might make you feel better but I doubt it will even matter to him. Men are not as emotional as us women about certain things Yet I also think he has the right to know about the unborn child even if it does mean "opening that can of worms". Maybe you should have your Husband with you when you speak to your ex about this so there will be no misunderstandings between any of you about your intentions
2006-11-18 20:28:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm going to be semi hard on you.
first off-it was just down right wrong of you not to tell him about the baby THE FIRST TIME EVEN BEFORE HE TOLD YOU HE CHEATED. honestly that says a lot about you. but in all reality-that was the past and this is the present. its best left unsaid that you don't bring it up again-you claim you've moved on why bring it up?
i personally was in a relationship with a similar situation. my ex and i broke up-during the break up we had our make up sex break up sex make up sex..final break up sex. she ended up getting pregnant. a month went by and i didn't hear from her. after 2 months she calls to tell me she's pregnant (i kinda had a feeling she was) anyway-she calls just to tell me she's getting an abortion.
i mean seriously here i am moved on (or trying to) and she calls to tell me something I REALLY DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW? i mean call the guy if he's the father of your child-don't call him and tell him about it if you have nothing positive to say.
you would only be trying to hurt him if you told him. if youve really moved on and nothing is there-you wouldn't even bring it up.
but something is still there no matter what you say. why?
you yourself have said you haven't "buried the past" once and for all.
its not worth it. only one that matters know is your hubby.
by the way i am a guy.
2006-11-18 20:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by LS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about telling the ex. The person you told was there for you and didn't cheat like the ex did. Leave the past alone, move forward with your wonderful hsuband.
2006-11-18 20:25:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First why are you communicating with your ex? Isn't your husband enough for you? It appears you should have closed the book with your ex before getting married to you wonderful husband of 2.5 years. Honey, let the boat sail on the ex.
2006-11-18 20:02:47 · answer #5 · answered by lovetolearn 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell him. Telling him will only cause him pain and make things even more complicated and painful for you.
And for that matter, I would not speak to this person. Talking to him is like picking at a scab. Bound to open old wounds afresh. And I doubt that your husband is 100% okay with it.
2006-11-18 19:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by Jamir 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you even talking to a louse like him? You have the support and love of (in your own words) wonderful man. Be happy with what you've got already and let the past stay in the past.
2006-11-18 19:50:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him. I think it will help you heal. Also, it may hurt him as well because he might feel responsible for the death of his child. That kind of stress can cause a miscarriage. You may or may not want to do that to him, but just be aware of what you say and how you say it.
2006-11-18 19:52:41 · answer #8 · answered by L G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell about the baby and stop talking to him before you get hurt again. Because your just opening up new wounds.
2006-11-18 20:01:37 · answer #9 · answered by Kayla [(Adam)] 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honestly speaking....dont even think abt telling him ne thing....slowly but steadily cut out ne relationship u have with him.....as u told us.....u r now happily married...n ur hubby is a very nice man (appretiated) dont tell ur ex ne thing as it might either irk him or bring him more closer to u....which might spoil the wonderful relationship u have with ur hubby....personal request.....dont tell him ne thing....n forget abt ur past....cuz yesterday is history..tomorrow a mystery....today is a gift...thts y its called the 'present'. good luck honey & lead a happy life
2006-11-18 19:56:31 · answer #10 · answered by kirti u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋