I'm really close to a guy at work. My boss calls us the terrible 2 cos we're always getting up 2 no good. We spend loads of time together outside of work n I've always thought of him as a xtra bro. Everything was fine between us until I met his new girlfriend. I've met his girlfriends b4 but he's never been serious about them and they never last, but he told that this new girl is the 1 and he loves her and now they're engaged! I've never been so jealous in all my life, I find myself being horrible to her even tho she's nothing but lovely to me n I know I would like her if he wasn't with her. I've never been a jealous person but it eats me up inside 2 c them together. I told a friend of mine n she thinks I've finally realised I fancy him now I know I can't have him. My mum thinks it's because I'm afraid I'll lose him as a friend. I just don't know! I always laughed it off when people thought we were together, but now I can't stop thinking about him!!!
2006-11-18 19:01:53 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I've had the same thing.. It was because i did'nt want her to be taken away from me. I thought i'd lose her as my friend because the guy she was dating i wasnt that keen on. I thought the same as you but after carefull throwing of things around the room hehe i came to the firm conclusion i was just jealous that she may forget/think i meant less to her then before. Think about it carefully you could be working yourself up about nothing. Or everything quick decison's on this point are not the way togo as it could make or break 2 relationships.
Hope that helped.
2006-11-18 19:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by Rulin 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need some distance from this whole situation. I don't mean change your job, but do get very busy with something that will challenge you, esp. emotionally. Find time to do some work with a group or service that is going to give a tug to your heartstrings, like elders, small children, puppies, kittens...something you are interested in. It sounds like you are chasing your emotional tail here and need a chance to get a more realistic perspective.
Any change is painful and any sense of loss will make a person protect their own. This work relationship and friendship is going to change...it already has. That part of the change is out of your control. Your opinions and feelings were not requested or considered, not should they have been, really.
It is good that you have a friend and it would be a shame if you lose the friend for the chance to gain a ...what.
2006-11-18 19:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by PJ H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, afraid that you will loose him as a friend, and a fear that you may never be able to take it farther than friendship. But loosing as a friend is probably because his new love will be jealous and clingy, rather than your being jealous. The other part isn't jealousy either, just longing.
I would let things go as they will, and maybe if you bide your time they will break up, and you can then tell him how you felt. That may wake him up.
And, also as you move along, finding new friends, and romantic interests, if he and she do not break up, in time you will not feel the edge so much. PJF mentioned this idea.
I hope this helps. All that you are going though is quite normal and human!
2006-11-18 19:26:43 · answer #3 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you fancy him, because you yourself have said that you think of his as an extra brother. But what you are scared about is that you will lose him as a friend.
However what you shouldn't be is horrible to her because she hasn't done anything to you and if you keep this up then you definitely will lose him as a friend. Just be there for him and try to except the fact that it just one of those things and that you won't lose him.
Remember friendships last longer than relationships and just be nice and don't change the way that you are towards him in anyway
2006-11-18 21:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you fancy him like you say, then tell him how you feel.
you only get once chance in life and you dont want to spend the rest of it regretting it!!
however if you are unsure then LEAVE WELL ALONE
either way at the mo, you risk losing him...... so think carefully...
and good luck!
2006-11-18 23:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to start making a new circle of friends. May be you will meet the man of your dreams as well, be happy for your friend.
He may start to resent you if you continue to be horrible to his girl as you say.
2006-11-18 19:05:35 · answer #6 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i totally agree with ur mom , cause it's not that u fancy him ur just scared of losing him as ur friend. dont make wrong decisions
2006-11-18 19:13:21 · answer #7 · answered by chillpill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friendship is gold - treasure it if is genuine
2006-11-18 20:51:06 · answer #8 · answered by Neighbour 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋