Can you check out my lyrics?

Question

Im new to this whole writing lyrics thing. Any suggestions or things that need change tell me, A title would be helpful also.Enjoy and thnx.
Verse 1
Your dad caught us kissing again
I told him I was just your friend
Then he chased me down the hall
I bumped into your mom and now everything’s my fault

(Chorus melody plays, no lyrics are sung)

Verse 2
Remember when you pretended to cry
The day I ask you who was that other guy
Then you lied and said he was a friend
I guess that tonight I’m going home with my hand again

Chorus pt. 1
The light is red and I want to go
You hold my hand and tell me no
But we both know this has to end
Because we could never be friends

Chorus pt. 2
Its best for me
And best for you
It’s not me
It’s always been you

Bridge
The light is red and I want to go
(The light is red and I want to go)
It’s not me
IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU



Verse 1
Chorus with no lyrics
Verse 2
Chorus pt. 1 and 2
Music only played
Bridge
Chorus pt. 1 & 2

Answer 1

wow boy! This is good. I think this is perfect. Your pretty talented.

Answer 2

I liked it apart from "I guess that tonight I’m going home with my hand again" Why not just instead of with my hand use "alone again"

Otherwise the lyrics are good, keep up, you never know it might be a hit....

Answer 3

I like, but something about the chorus does not tie it all up for me...

I like the twist part where you say: "Its always been you..."

But maybe you could switch up some of the lyrics, to show why its always been here, keep what you got about her lying and all, but give more dirt... you know... make her real bad.

Answer 4

cry -> guy .......go --> no,

again friend, hall fault

these are very childish rhymes.

i would recommend reading creative literature. READ!!!
this is very basic stuff bro and it wont take you anywhere. im sorry to be the one to say it but you have to think outside the cliche box. we've all heard this song on the radio a 100 times!

read some robert frost
just read man!

Answer 5

The bumping in to the mom part, i didn't really get. Why does that make it the guys fault?

Answer 6

Verse 1st verse -Your dad caught us kissing once again. Verse 1 2nd line -I told him not to worry i was just your friend. 3rd line Then he began to chase me down the hall. Verse 1 end line-he yelled at me that when it come to you i should never even call um hu um hu um hu chorus 1 end line- because i could never be just your friend chorus 2 Its the best for me and for you to say this is the end Bridge-the light is red and i got to go You look at me and tell me no -But i just have go to go um hu um hu um hu Your sister says her baby belongs to me but i know darn well that just can't be um hu um hu um hu Even your mama was giving me the eye -now i know its time for me to fly. I will miss you- Babe- but i just have to go Title "Babe I got to go"

Answer 7

sorry but I don't like it. Change the first verse completely, get rid of the 'going home with my hand' bit, (what kind of sex freak are you????) and the 'it's best for....' section is lame.

sorry but bin it.


oh and i find the best way to make up lyrics is to create a new song while singing in the shower :D it works.

Answer 8

A little off beat but with a little work and I think it could go somewhere. Please respond to a question for you. Are those lyrics based on events you have experienced?

Answer 9

I like it. If it were me, I would call it...''Tattered Bridges" , or "Hesitated Goodbye" because in a way you are singing of fallin love, or blocked love because of her parents. Take care.

Answer 10

Cool.

Answer 11

I love them. It reminds me of something Pete Wentz could've helped you write. =P