me and my girlfriend have been through a lot... family problems, racism, school and work. we're both19 and she's helped me become a success in my mind, being able to support myself financially and manage school at the same time. I have always tried to be there for her... when she was lost in another city i drove 3 hours to get her... and she's stayed up countless nights giving me moral support when i'm working @ 3.am. I'm only 19 but for the past 7 months i've basically not been sleeping and working close to 15 hours a day almost everyday. Recently it paid off and i've made enough money to almost buy a small house. Now im not super rich, but last week i bought a very expensive ring for her because i love her and i'm thinking of asking her to marry me. both our parents dont approve of our relationship because my parents are traditional chinese and hers are traditional italian but i dont care and neither does she... so would it be wrong to propose to her considering all of this?
2006-11-18 17:58:57 · 17 answers · asked by ilovecoronaaa 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU'RE the one who's going to be spending the rest of your life with her...... not the parents.
I suggest getting married after college though.
2006-11-18 18:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if the arranged couple marries...they really dont know each other. someone does and arranges the two to be married. and because their marriage is arranged...to not try to make the marriage work is the slap the faces of the people who arranged the marriage and so you see it is a different arrangement altogether. it is more of a 'marriage' contract. it is not a 'love' contract. here in the west, some who marry with a preconceived notion that love will last or be continuously happy, they are misguided. they dont know what a 'marriage' contract entails. they dont realize 'marriage' as a contract and has 'rules' to abide by that hold the couple together. in the arranged marriages...the contract and rules are abided by more and mediation from family input when the couples become unhappy...they refer to the 'vows' and persuade the couples to regroup. here...marriage seems to be more or less unequal because women work outside the home and at home and the men expect or hope that she'll care for everything as the old fashioned women did and that yet still have the same basic male instincts of infidelity during marriage and possessiveness and insecurities of other men looking at their wives and the other women are trying to get the married man for herself. its a whole nother culture really. its like comparing apples to oranges. lot of the women in western culture are encouraged to put their kids in daycare and let others take care of their kids which means anybody can shape the child's moralities and sensibilities and decisions in life. this causes married couples to lesser bonds with their kids, two jobs cause lesser encouragment for the predominately male maturity as a protector over his wife and family. its just different. western marriages are affected by so much more than the 'arranged marriages' of a completely different culture and morality.
2016-05-22 02:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by Nedra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow- you sound very responsible for a young man- have you thought into the future- you may be chinese and her italian= but what about children in the future and would they be raised as christians or catholics or buddhists or what?? that could cause problems- you may not think about that since you are so in love- which is womderful= but it will come up= check out james dobson's book about marriage and questions- he is with FOcus on the family- in Colorado- take care- D
2006-11-18 18:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a lot to consider. I believe in true love and believe that if love someone, make it work.
However, do keep in mind that mixing too families who don't approve can be doom for disaster. Whether the wedding taking place to raising children.
You both have to agree and go in this strong and be eachother's support to stay strong.
2006-11-18 18:03:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While having your parents' support is pretty important, you can't pass up true love just because of them. They don't have to be completely in love with her, that's your job. In time your parents will learn to accept her seeing how perfect you two are for each other.
2006-11-18 18:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by its_just_sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not, I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as you 2 love each other, and are commited to each other, that should be all that matters.
My parents were against my wife and I getting married, but they learned to deal with it and accept it. Granted my wife and I are not of different ethnic backgrounds like you and your girlfriend. But the families will just have to deal with it. You and her are in love and that is the most important thing.
I hope that all goes well for you.
Take care and God Bless
2006-11-18 18:01:56 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It will be hard because your parents don't approve, but yes, you should propose to her. You can't help it that you love her, and she can't help that she loves you. If you two aren't together because of your families, then you'll just be miserable for the rest of your lives. It's your life, not there's, and if you two want to live a life together, then go for it!
2006-11-18 18:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by Jess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am black and my husband was traditional mexican. His family did not approve but we stayed together. We were about your age. Had 2 kids and were very happy until he died. We were married for almost 30 years. I say let them be angry. You have to learn to follow your heart and your instincts. PS: I never did learn to speak spanish, but he learned perfect english.
2006-11-18 18:04:03 · answer #8 · answered by glenda576 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the both of you are still young.......don't blame your families for not approving.......especially since you're chinese....i understand completely how they feel. You don't have to rush things just to prove your love....you can still love her the same without getting married........this can also prove to both sides of parents of your true love and they'll soon understand.
2006-11-18 18:06:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. If you love her; just do it. But make sure to get in some marriage classes before you do any thing. Marriage can be hard to accustom to so make sure you do that. Other than that I am rooting for you. I am 19 myself and thinking about getting married to my boyfriend...good luck keep me posted, you are welcome to email me...click the pic...How long have you guys been together?
2006-11-18 18:06:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you and your girlfriend get marry, its gonna be you two on your own... with or without the support of each individual family, cuz now you two will become a family..
2006-11-18 18:02:48 · answer #11 · answered by mikl0vl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋