MY FRIEND HAS DECIDED SHE IS NOT HAPPY WITH HER HUSBAND ANYMORE AND WANTS A DIVORCE......SHE SAYS HER HUSBAND SAID HE WILL NEVER SIGN ANYTHING AND IF SHE FOUGHT FOR A DIVORCE HE WOULD NEVER LET HER GET THEIR 4 YR OLD GIRL(HE SAYS SHE WILL NEVER GET HER BECAUSE SHE HAS NO WAY OF SUPPORTING BOTH OF THEM).SHE IS SO DESPERATE....SHE SAYS SHE JUST MIGHT TAKE HER DAUGHTER AND RUN.......I AM TRYING TO TALK HER OUT OF THAT.....BUT SHE SAYS ITS HER ONLY OPTION ...HE WOULD NEVER AGREE WITH THE DIVORCE AND WOULD NEVER LET HER TAKE THEIR GIRL......HOW CAN I MAKE HER FEEL BETTER AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF SHE DID RUN OFF WITH THEIR GIRL........WOULDN'T SHE JUST GET INTO MORE TROBLE..?! CAN ANY ONE HELP ME IN TELLING HER WHAT TO DO? THIS IS SERIOUS.....THANKX
2006-11-18 17:51:34 · 13 answers · asked by aliyah 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
btw they both are muslims and are married under muslim law but are in the us(she was born and raised here).......she says she doesnt know what might happen to her if she ever trys to get a divorce.......she also fears of what her family might do if she ''dishonors her family''...
2006-11-18 18:25:11 · update #1
they married 5 years ago in egypt
2006-11-18 18:30:14 · update #2
What the people aren't considering is the muslim faith here and their perspective on marriage and divorce. I googled it and the family is the foundation of everything.Depending on where she is from and whatthe beliefs are, that is where her fear is coming from. I would suggest that she get legal counsel from a muslim.
Have her talk to someone who knows because although it isn't easy, it cn be done. The family would probably feel shame but, that may besomething she has to deal with.
2006-11-18 19:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend that the husband does not need to agree to a divorice or not. You do not need the other person permission to get divoriced. A judge just has to signs papers.
Running will only make it hard to prove that she is the parent that the child needs to stay with.
Her not having any money to support the child and her is not a factor in child custody. The mother would have to be unfit for the father to get custody. If the ex trys to say that she has no money then more the likely the judge will have HIM pay more child support and/or alimoney.
What she needs to do if find a divorce lawyer and a place to live with out her ex and a job and day care. Not welfare but the state will help with day care cost and being a girl she can work almost any where. Mcdonalds, Burger King. A job is a job and an income.
2006-11-18 17:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your friend is not happy and wants to leave her husband then that's what she should do, but she needs to do it the right way. She needs to save some money and when she leaves ( I think she should do it while he's at work to avoid a scene) go straight from her home to a lawyer. File for a divorce and full custody of the child. Unless he can prove she's unfit he won't (more than likely) get custody. Unfit does not mean she doesn't make good money. It means she abuses, neglects or leaves the child a lot. Not just to go to work or out shopping or with the girls occasionally. In to days world he doesn't have to agree to a divorce and she doesn't have to have grounds for one. I read where one of your answers said she can be charged with kidnapping, I'm pretty sure that's wrong, my 1st husband tried that when I left and the law states the child belonged to me as well as him and I had the right to take them anywhere I pleased. He didn't have custody no one had filed yet. Now if he beats her to filing he can ask for full custody and if it's granted she can't do it. Like I said she needs to leave her house and go straight to a lawyer, the child will automatically be given full custody to the Mom until a court date is set. Your friend should call a lawyer in her state and they (most) should give her a free consultation.
2006-11-18 18:01:00 · answer #3 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you know, there's alot ALOT of divorces these days. It's not as simple as just saying "Hey, I'm not gonna sign the divorce papers." if it was as simple as that then there wouldn't be as as many divorces, now would it? if one partner simply just doesn't want to sign the papers. It's not as simple as that, and doesn't work like that. Go to a judge and he'll pretty much say the same thing, so a divorce can very much happen even if he doesn't agree to it. The judge will over rule it. and as far as a father taking a child away from his/her mother, that's just not natural. The mother would have to have done some pretty screwed up things if a judge decided to take her child away. But in most cases, if you notice...the judge usually sides with the mother on this.
2006-11-18 18:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by mommymommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all he does not have to agree so if she is not happy she should file. I wouldn't run because she cannot legally take their daughter away. She should not worry about if she can support her the way he thinks because as long as they have a roof over their heads he will have to pick up the slack. Taking care of children is not always what big things you can give them. Just making sure they have a loving, stable environment is the key.
2006-11-18 18:02:22 · answer #5 · answered by Dare2BReal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My firiend is going through exatly the same thing are U sure its not the same person? LOL.
I gave my advise to my girls and she didn't take it so I hope atleast you do. Contact your local Alliance Against Violence center. They will help you find a safe shelter to get her life together. There she can let them know what the problem is and most likely he'll have a restraining order which will prevet from his to try to get custody but in the mean time she has to find a way to get it together. WIth their help she'll get somewhere. If she is ever in danger I suggest she leaves him. Good luck and i hope it all turn out good.
2006-11-18 17:57:39 · answer #6 · answered by Junia Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is in the usa that will not happen- she can collect child support- is she in the Us?? she can even get on welfare and go to college and get it paid for -for 2 years or so-he is trying to scare her- and it is working-and you can get a divorce and he does not have to agree- If he is a total nut case and violent- that is another story- she could get a restraining order- and disappear= D
2006-11-18 17:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all she definatly does not want to run the police will eventualy find her and her daughter and she won't get custudy of her daughter second you need to calm her down explain to her that in cort battles of who the child stays with most of the time they rule in favor of the mother she has nothing to worrie about her daughter might have to see him on a weekly baises but nothing where he would get full custudy inless she runs . God Bless! hope every thing works out !
2006-11-18 17:58:38 · answer #8 · answered by Heather F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cant take her away from her mother. She doesnt have to runaway,but she does need to leave the marriage if she feels its not working out. She will be okay. Dont let her run off! She could be considered a felon!
2006-11-18 17:56:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are lot of laws favoring women...try finding it out and make him behind bars...where she ll run...??!!!!she may be physical have an escapism, but in life she had failed...so ask her to file a case against that bugger, and face the pblm ....let her have the guts to do that ..that is most important...barking dog will not bite,ok...when u keep running,dogs normally chase..stand,turn-around it will definetely think what to do..like that dont let her to be chased by him...ask her to stop running, and face the issue...let the pblm be in front then we will puch against it...ok...all the best...
2006-11-18 18:05:35 · answer #10 · answered by Suresh s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋