Am I ready to have a baby?

Question

I love children. I've been babysitting and around children since I was 10. I have 4 nieces and nephews, and many of my friends are having kids. I am 23 and have been married a 1 1/2 years. My husband is 5 years older than me. I can't wait to be pregnant, but then I think about being a parent, and I'm scared to death of the concept and I guess it just blows my mind. I am also terrified of labor. Mothers, do you have any suggestions to ease my fears?

Answer 1

i had my son at 19 im 23 now

Answer 2

Only you know if you are ready. Nothing can prepare you for having a baby. It is different when it is your child compared to babysitting. Labor is really not that bad. Its scary, but a woman's body is designed to give birth. Just make sure that the delivery room is comfortable for you. Only have the people you want there. Ones that will be supportive. As far motherhood. Yes it can be scary. This one little being is totally dependent on you. At times, you won't know what you are doing or what you should do. The first fever will most likely be terrifying. However, all the fears and concerns are so wroth it!! I had my son when I was 21. He is the light of my life. I have stumbled along the way and made some mistakes, but that's okay. No one is perfect.

If you and your husband are ready. I say go for it. The fears are normal, but the joy is ten times that. My only suggestion: examine your financial situation, make sure you have the money to buy diapers and all that good baby stuff. Check into your health benefits.Also, consult with your doctor. There is some good pre-pregnancy care to start with. Taking the vitamins now and that. Just getting your body ready before you are actually pregnant.

Just my two cents.Hope that helps. Best wishes and take care.

Answer 3

Well I guess how do you really feel inside? This is going to be apart of your life forever. It changes alot of things, esp. if your really not ready. The way I look at it is I had my son at 19, I LOVE it! He is almost 9 months now.

For pregnancy, it is all expected. You may get the morning sickness and all that good stuff. Which normally last the 1st trimester. The 2nd trimester I felt really good about myself, I was happy, not sick anymore, and I had a glow, the 3rd trimester I was just worried that I would drop something and noone would be around to pick it up, lol.

Honestly then for labor, every woman who complains about childbirth from our parents generation just want to hold it over their childs heads, and scare the rest of the women. It does hurt, don't take me wrong, but it is nothing like the pain that I heard about. Think of a horrible cramp that comes and goes, plus maybe a backache added in. But there are so many things to help with that. I had an intracthical (sp), similar to an ephidural, but less numb so you can push harder so labor can move faster. Call me sick, but I didn't mind it. I knew in the end that I was going to finally be holding a joy that was part of me and my loved one.

So to ease your fears, just remember that this is an addition to your family that is like a little keepsake. You and your husband love each other, and this is a showing of that love. Everyone is scared when they are pregnant whether or not they admit it. It's natural, and until you go through it once, you never know what to expect.

Good luck with all of this!

Answer 4

I am 24 and 5 and a half months pregnant. I have been married for a little over 2 years now. I have wanted to have children for quite some time and was very happy when I found out we were pregnant. But as time has gone by and my pregnancy has gotten further along I have times where I think "holy crap I am gonna be a mom" and "I am going to be responsible for another human being" it is scary at times but I am happier than scared.

So I guess what I am trying to say is when your desire to have a baby outweighs your fear then you are ready. It might take you some time to decide you are ready. It could be gradual or it could just hit you tomorrow. Either way you will know when it does. And trust me when you are ready then all those scary thoughts that you have don't seem so scary anymore.

Answer 5

ok, im neither a girl, mother, or a person with a child, but rather a child with parent. i know that a person must prepare the child's future before that child is even born. im not saying to plan everything, but to create a guide for your child. i know, all parents dont really care what their child become (as long as they lead a good life) but the problem is, without proper guidance, the child will move around aimlessly. they will attach themselves to whatever comes first (could be sports, could be love, could be science, could be drugs, etcetc)
on how reasy a future parent is, i believe that it depend on how ur current life is. children need alot of attention in the first few years of their life. you much babysit them for 5 year straight. and this include teaching them the basics, holding their hands in school and other activites. most people say, that it is easy, but the thing is, they only think it is easy.

one way that i image this is a class, if u dont do the work, you fail..in this case, you arent allow to see the grades untill the final.
children loves their parent, because they respect them as smart people, and even if ur doing a bad job, they will still respect u. however once they hit teenager, they instantly lose that respect, and if u did a good enough job in their childhood, then and only then and only then will they still like u. you wont be able to see how well a good job as a parent u do until they are all grown up.

Answer 6

i am assuming your husband would like to be a daddy about now. Make sure you have your money and employment straight so that someone can stay home for a while with the baby.

Nothing has touched my life as much as becoming a mom. I think when someone asks me what I do (and I do more then a couple of things) my first self description is I'm a mom, even if I am a grand mom now,

The labor, just get the epidural. Wanting this little bit of you with a little bit of him is a large part of doing it well. What else is there in life but living? It is scary, dirty, and risky...or you can spend your life waiting for someone to explain the next season of "Lost".

Answer 7

Yep I know how you feel. I've wanted kids for a long time and finally had my 1st. at 31. Labor was painful because they gave me pitocin and I didn't have a break in between the 12 minute contractions the drug induced. But I forgot all about that and the recovery from my c-section when I held my daughter.

I've heard you never forget your labor pain, well I "remember" hurting, but I don't remember the pain, if that makes sense.

My baby is now 4 months old. She amazes me every day. She's strong willed, onerey, and funny.

It's a waking dream for me to be a mom. I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm so ready to do it again.

Answer 8

Oh, if you love kids I would say YES, definitely! I have never been too fond of other people's kids but still wanted my own...now I know I'm not the best mother, but if you like kids generally then I would go for it! Labour is over really quickly usually within a day or two, and by that time you just want the baby to get out so it makes it easier! All your worries are pretty universal. Good luck deciding hun xx

Answer 9

Your fears are all natural fears all women have and even men. Talk with your hubby about when he thinks he wants kids- and go from there. No sense worrying about it if he isnt ready now... Don't freak out about it- just talk to him and see what his concerns are etc etc and depending on what he says- you'll know when the time is right for both you... and yes you'll still have fears and they will come and go and you'll have other fears.. and then you'll see and hold your baby for the first time and forget everything and then you'll take it home and a new set of fears will set in. hehe it never ends for any of us =) Good luck!

Answer 10

I think you're totally ready to have a baby. And don't be scared, being pregnant is a beautiful and wonderful experience. Sure it has its downsides just like anything else. And labor hurts like hell!! But once you hear your little baby take his/her first breath and let out their first cry, it's all worth it. When you hold your little angel in your arms, all the pain goes away; really, no joke.

Answer 11

I suggest before you decide to try to get pregnant, to learn all you can first. Visit messageboards where pregnant women and mothers hang out, ask them questions if you have any, get some books, etc. Only you can tell for sure if you're ready. It's good that you're being responsible and making sure you are really ready.

Good luck! :)