Is the motivation for forming relationships strictly need-based, or is there something more?

Question

I think its all need-based. If you could fulfill all your needs and desires independently, where would the motivation be to form relationships? We use employers, colleagues, clients and customers to get money. We use mates to procreate and have sex with. We use friends for entertainment and so we won't be lonely. We needed are parents or other caregivers to ensure our survival and we ensure the survival our children because we need them to carry on our legacy and maintain the species. When I presented this line of thought to a friend, she said I was cynical misanthropic. But I just don't see what the big mystery is with relationships. We need each other, and use each other to fulfill those needs. Am I missing something?

Answer 1

Nothing simple about this one. Your views would fit very closely with that of an evolutionary psychologist.

But other perspectives of psychology have different views. And they wouldn't agree with you at all.

Psych is a young science - they don't have all the answers yet.

Answer 2

How elegant that nature has provided us the emotions to get the job done, which is: survival of the species via survival of the organism, and passing on the genes to the next generation. I believe this wholeheartedly and don't feel misanthropic about it, as a matter of fact, it enchants and amazes me, almost to a spiritual/religious degree. Adds to the magic.

There is a book called The Moral Animal by Robert Wright that addresses this head on, along with all the behaviors we see in people, and many animals. Fascinating read, I recommend it.

Answer 3

There are a lotta possible reasons why we are social creatures.

We are raised in families, and associate carrying/safety/security with close bonds. This early socialization is the basic construct for which we build our lives. So, we yearn for it the rest of our lives. But what about orphans and people who are neglected by their parents?

Orphans and the like see others who experience great happiness as a result of interactions with others. This begins an association--if they are happy when with other people, maybe I can be, too.

Then there's people with personality disorders, who are incapable of appreciating the company of others--anti-social, sociopaths, etc. Personality disorders are primarily the result of brain damage or missing parts of the frontal lobe. So, if these people don't need others, maybe a part of our neurological structure causes us to pine for others' affection.

In psychology, there are many theories for this, and even some people who refute this need, but I think it's hard to deny that we are social creatures. You refer to it as "using" others, but does it have to be so selfish? Yes, maybe all of our actions are based in selfishness, but I believe that altruism is a real thing, and sometimes we genuinely want others to be happy. So, I wouldn't say we're using others--that's so cynical. We co-exist, co-depend, and need/desire harmony.

Answer 4

i agree with you that all the relations are need based..... thats y the weak people (by weak people i mean those people who are poor, mentally insane, or have some physical ailment) are left alone...........while living a normal life we make mutual relations. we try to fulfill our needs and on the other hand we fulfill others needs. but what about those people who are not needed by others - weak people. how do they fulfil their needs. but i feel that life is very mysterious. we also form our needs according to our life situations. we suppress our needs when they dont get fulfilled. there are people who live alone, dont have beloved, no one to understand them or to love them, orphans who dont have anyone to help them to survive in the self based needy people. then they too survive and fight with these needs and overcome them and carry on with their different lives.
trust me help a needy........and you wil be happy and you will forget your needs.................
take care

Answer 5

When it comes right down to it... we just don't want to be alone. We need love! Love of a spouse or partner and love of friends.

I think this goes beyond 'needs'.

Needs are physical, mental and emotional.

Love goes beyond and touches souls.

It is said we are created in the image of God. Why did God create us... because he didn't want to be alone. He wanted friends and a family!

Answer 6

It's very simple and can be summed up in one word, it's called NATURE !!!!!!

Answer 7

I think you have something there.