Am I fantasizing?

Question

I was in love with a man 15 years back. But, I'm married to another man and staying in another city now. Though I always try to forget him, but I just can't, I always remember him. I don't have any contact with him. I don't know if he still loves me. Even after all these years of my marriage to another man, just thinking about him gives me goose bumps and I feel happy just to visualize his face. My husband is caring and loving, still the other man's thoughts just follwing me like a shadow.
Am I fantasizing? Am I in love? What's wrong with me? Please help.

Answer 1

I still think about my art teacher. I had such a crush on him. And I still have thoughts about him. I suppose that is life. These are just pleasant memories to get us through the days. Who knows where they lead. I would keep it in your head though.

Answer 2

Ah. The one that got away. Almost everyone has one of those. I know I do. I am so happy with my husband, and I'd never trade him for anything in this world. Hopefully, you feel the same way.

But, there's this one man....

Just like you, I still get goosebumps thinking about him, and sometimes, even today, I can get a tear in my eye and ache for him.

But, you know what? There was a reason that it didn't work out all those years ago. As time passes, we tend to forget the bad and only remember the good. Time washes the pain away and leaves the good memories. Problem is, there WAS pain. There WERE bad times. You've turned him into a happy memory and he's your fantasy man, key word there being FANTASY.

It's more fun and romantic to think back on all the wonderful times, but then you have to rein yourself in and make yourself remember that the relationship was NOT a bed of roses.

You can't go back. You've changed. He's changed. Your life is different, and YOU are different. You're not the girl he loved and he's not the man you loved anymore. It's a fact.

I can't help you get over the longing. I can't stop my own longing.
But, I know who I AM, and I know that I wouldn't trade my husband for anything in this world. I also realize that the life I have with my husband is far better than the one I would have had with him. We have more in common and my life with him is GOOD. I love him with all my heart and would nearly die if anything happened to him. I'm afraid that's as good as it gets.

You're not crazy, you're one amongst many. Just do the best you can to keep it in perspective.

Good luck!

Polly

Answer 3

You're fixated on a fantasy man. This man is pretty perfect because you've made him up...after 15 years you really don't know him anymore. Your husband could be twice the man your "fantasy" man is.

Do yourself a favor and when you start thinking about this guy, think about how terrific your husband is. Think about what a good man he is. Then work on getting those goose-bumps back with him.

Remember the grass just looks greener.

Answer 4

look sweetheart, some people just like to have a mental fantasy running side by side. i guess , u are letting urself thiink abt that guy and are deliberately doing it.
trust me, i 've known life closer than that. inclination towards somebody might come by itself but it could be controlled.
com on - give me a break - why would you marry somebody if u cannot be strong enough to keep it up.
now that you are married try keeping it up and forget all other men. there might be some way better than ur husband but would they love and care about you as much.
human has this problems - when he gets everything - he gets overwhelmed by the feeling - how come i've everything - and howcome i dont have any trouble.

Answer 5

I don't think you're fantasizing. The man you are thinking about was more than likely your first true love. You will probably always have a spot in your heart for him. My first still does as well and i do for her. We sometimes talk about how things could have been, but in the end we realize that it was all for the better. And still remain friends to this day.

Answer 6

Sweetie there's nothing wrong with you. there's nothing wrong with remembering a past relationship that was an obvious good one. keep it in prospective it was what it was and now its over and you have a wonderful loving caring partner you obviously moved on to a man that makes you feel good as well (hopefully). I don't dwell on the other man or of course your going to start to feel confused.

Answer 7

Something like you described your feeling to a guy who for a long time you had no contact of communication, then surely you are dreaming of him or fantasizing him for your own future immoral act and possible to committ cheating from your loving husband. Just pray and try to divert your dirty mind and find ways to enhance your love to your husband for the good of your family.

Answer 8

That is 100% normal and natural.Those are called" flash backs'.Mean, you remember something important that happen in the past.That happen to women and men around the world,who were in love with someone,before married.They still have those flash backs.That happen to me sometimes.Good question.

Answer 9

Why in the world did you marry your husband if you still love this other man? I'd forget about him and focus on my MARRIAGE.

Answer 10

Yes ! Its only a fantasy. Nothing wrong with that. Most will have fantasy with imaginary characters, whereas you do that with a real character who came across in your life. Don't worry about that much.