One at a time?

Question

S*x is without a doubt a human instinct, a natural pull towards fulfillment, so why do we as creatures with these natural urges, try to bind ourselves to just one sexual love at a time?

Answer 1

I understand what you're trying to say, but think about it in terms of everything else. Take, for instance, the fact that I have intense desires for food. Eating is, without a doubt, a human instinct, and our taste buds definitely act as a natural pull towards fulfillment in that capacity. So as a creature with such natural urges, why try to eat only in moderation?

Why not indulge myself with every fantastical gastronomic delicacy known to humankind- particularly cheesecake (my number one weakness)?

The fact of the matter is that some people do exactly that- they stuff their faces indiscriminately and enjoy. Shifting metaphors, those people are the ones I'd deem 'promiscuous'. Now, for some people, being promiscuous or eating everything in sight may work okay. But for most people, it's just a recipe for disaster.

What if I find that I crave a lot of crazy fattening and delicious foods but feel that my body can handle it? And then, when I do, I find that I suffer no ill effects- I have a high metabolism or whatever, so maybe this is right for me. I'd call these people, going back to the sex idea, as the rare brand of people who can handle polyamory- they have multiple partners and make it work- no complications, no jealousy, just good stuff.

Most of us have the cravings and indulge them just time to time, because if we had them all the time, we'd suffer ill effects. These are the people who have the occasional extramarital one-night stand, the couples who have a once-in-a-lifetime threesome, etc.. They limit themselves, just like I try to limit myself to cheesecake only for special occasions. Even so, sometimes those few bits can have ill effects- the cheesecake goes straight to your hips; the threesome proceeds to rip small jealous holes in your relationship.

Lastly is pretty much everyone else. We are the dieters, the ones who look regretfully at the chocolate cake as we bite into an apple instead. Or we can be the people who love eating that way- tofu lovers and happy, smiling vegans who wouldn't trade their eating habits for the world. People are monogamous in each way- either happy that way, or doing it because they know it's best for them. For those people who are monogamous but aren't fully satisfied that way, they have ways of coping, just like the dieters. The low-fat versions of our favorite dishes, the subsitutes for the real things- are the food equivalents of sexual games in the bedroom, of sharing fantasies, watching your girlfriend/boyfriend flirt with others to fuel those, flirting with others yourself, etc., etc..

I know it's somewhat cliched, but food and sex are two passions of mine, and the metaphor works, I think. Kids in a candy store- that's what people are when they try to have more than one sexual love at a time. The disciplined kids will end up happy; most everyone else will be rolling on the floor with stomaches.

Hope that makes sense!

Answer 2

The question should be "why not"
My God man, sharing intimacy with the one you love, the one you know, the one who knows you opens so many doors for new experiences that all the hook-ups and Mr Right Nows can not begin to fulfill.
Variety is in the experiences, not some nameless body that slips out of your bed at 2AM to go home.
If you think these urges are satiated once the condom is tossed away, then I think you are missing something in your life.

I'm not advocating that for everyone, not everyone is wired the same, but the premise of the question is suggesting that being with one is limiting, when in fact I find the real prison is the emptiness the next day or the day after when Mr Right Now is no more than a faint memory.

Answer 3

what common family speaks of multiple partners or group sex, let alone sex at all? so with that being said,family's teach tradition, moral passage. not the forbidden fruits.
now we must interact and explore with others of common interest who appreciate what it is that we enjoy. of course we get a few slaps in the face along the way. but a little pain goes a long way. making one curious of more.
so fk tradition and the boundaries that are made but by who ever.give me the opportunity to explore and im there.

Answer 4

There is just no good answer to support it other than control. We like to do things we were not made to do.

I have asked several people who are dating why they act like they are married. In most cases its to stop their partner from seeing anyone else . Why would you stop them from seeing others if they want to? 'So I wont get any sexual diseases' is the most common conclusion. You're having unprotected sex?

I think faithfulness is often confused with control. Being faithful to our partner calls us to be open handed. Because as you point out to expect anything else is to expect something we are not.

Answer 5

Dude, your young, testosterone is boiling, just walking turns you on but, one day that will change and one will be enough.

I used to be young.... I say, enjoy while you can and don't go around hurting people who didn't deserve to have you in their lives at this time.

Answer 6

we don't all feel bound to 1 partner...some of us stay because that's what we want...sex with the right person can last a lifetime..

Answer 7

One word: VARIETY!

Answer 8

love to have you now in my arms...