Should I care for Abusive Adult Parents?

Question

I'm 29 yrs that stills lives at home, but by Feb 2007 I will be out on my own. I'm an only child and have suffered psychological and emotional abuse by my parents for as long as I can remember and I suffered sexually abuse by a first cousin on my dad's side of the friend and when I told my parents about it they called me a liar. My Dad told me that it was just sex what is my mine problem and that I should be over. All through High School and middle school I made A's and B's, I my Dad always told me that I can't do anything right. At 18, I was kicked out of the house for wanting to go UH and study pharmacy. I any time I get a better paying job my dad always starting putting me and imitations me to follow his bad advice and when it doesn’t work. He then continues to criticize me. I Mom is mean to me on daily and sick,she doesn't seems to what to do anything for herself . Should have take care of my parents while I work and go back to pharmacy school which requires alot of focus?

I think that taking care of my parents will destroy my life.

Thank you for your advice

Answer 1

Listen, you're an adult now. You need to worry about yourself. I know they are your parents and you feel a bond towards them but it's about time to move on.

Go to school!! It's no longer your responsibility to look after them. I mean, of course you should still care about them, but focus on YOU now. I mean, you're almost 30! Do this for yourself.

Answer 2

They obviously did not take their parental responsibilities seriously (too few people actually do, unfortunately).

You owe them nothing. Be proud of yourself for having not only survived, but succeeded, DESPITE their abuse and neglect. Live your own life with grace and dignity, and whatever you do, don't continue the legacy.

I have a similar history and I am older than you, but I do not intend to care for my parents when they get older.

Answer 3

there are possibly limits to what you're able to do on your mom. even with the undeniable fact that, there is plenty you're able to do for your self. I propose which you check out grownup toddlers of Alcoholics (it additionally consists of grownup toddlers of addicts and different dysfunctional mom and dad). They use a 12-step application which will make your existence plenty greater effective. And as you help your self to understand what you may and can't do, this might help your mom, and your baby. you will discover community conferences of ACA (additionally customary as ACOA) on their cyber web internet site. The provider is loose and intensely functional. by ways, I even have been in an identical difficulty, and that i understand precisely what you're speaking approximately. stable success!

Answer 4

well this is a tuff one but im going to have to say you should get out as soon as possible i know you love and care for your parents but if they treat you like you say than i would get a good job and move out because thats not fair for anyone to go threw those type of things

Answer 5

You need to get into college.Are your parents drinkers? They have laid out their own miserable lives you don't have to follow that example.No let their bros sisters cousinsetc, take care of them or visiting nurses.

Answer 6

Nope. Even when they are our parents, they sometimes don't behave like that, nor even deserve us to give them that title.
So, simply try to make a better person of you and by yourself.

Answer 7

NO. You are NOT obligated to take care of them...Only child or not. My husband and myself have been through this,...You need to go on with your life....they "made their bed, now they can lie in it."

Answer 8

Are you a sucker for punishment? Do you enjoy being your parents' doormat?
Get the heck out and don't look back.

Answer 9

move out, live w/a group of friends and try ot be more independent.....GL

Answer 10

don't take care of them.