How can I get my wife back?

Question

Me and my wife separated 2 months ago It was her choice. She met a guy a month ago and he has been staying there the last 2 weeks. I want her back Even know of what she has done. I call her begging to let me come home. I know thats just pushing. I am going to try to stop that. Will her new relationship last? What is the best thing I can do rite now to have a chance of getting her back?

Answer 1

The best thing you can do is to show her that you are moving on yourself. Sometimes this will spark some jealousy and interest in her part because now you are not just sitting at home and dwelling on the fact that she left. You are also moving on as well. Get out there and do things for yourself. I know that's easier said than done but once she sees you getting your own interests and hobbies, she will wonder what's up and she "might" become interested again.

I don't know if her relationship with this other guy will last. We are not in a position to see that but at the same time, you shouldn't put your life on hold either. Move on as best as you can and if things don't work out as you hoped it would, then at least you have taken the first step on being on your own.

Answer 2

To answer this question wisely, I would need to know the details of the breakup, but since we are not priveledged to that, I will give you something that will help.
First, suck it all up and look it some realistic possibilities. One, she may not come back to you. Two, the fact that she has a new person in her life is a good indication that she has decided to move on with her life and there is no telling if it will last and how long it will last. Three, the more you call her and try to get her back, the less likely it is that she will come back because by doing so you are giving her the power and privelegde of feeling in control of the relationship and usually, she is not going to likely rush back because she knows she has you and you are not going anywhere. Even if she comes back, you have to consider the possibility that you are a "rebound" move and she may not have the love for you that you have for her.
But, let's say all things are equal, what you could do is revisit the reason you broke up and come up with an action plan not to make the same mistake and somehow relay to her that you have at least given your mistakes some thought and took action to correct things.I suggest that the best thing you can do to get her back is to once and for all let her know (without being pushy) how you feel and then back off. Pray that she either thinks seriously about getting back together or at worst she gives you a definite " I don't want this relationship anymore." Lastly, get yourself some help dealing with this issue now, so that if she should reject the notion of getting back together at least you will be able to handle the rejection and move on with your life.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Hey Bill, hard to answer with so little information. Why did she leave? Was is thing’s you did or didn’t do? Did she give you definite answers why she left? If you were doing something damaging to the relationship (and her) she may not ever want you back. Was it something in her makeup where she wanted something different? If that’s the case, you can never change her. You can only change yourself. If she expected you to change for her you need to assess if you really want to change just to suit her. If not, you can only be true to yourself. Don’t lose your self-respect/dignity pleading for her to take you back if she’s just not into you anymore. Yes, some women can be like that,, (just like men can) This isn't a "contest" You can't stop her behavior, or relationships she gets into, only she can, if she wants to. Don't do anything dumb where you wind up on the wrong side of the law! You'll wind up screwing yourself over more then she has. OK? Move on with your life. Get some counseling to help resolve the issues eating at you. Know the answers aren’t methodical but so little info to base an answer on.

Answer 5

As hard as it may be--stop calling and begging for her to come back because its just making her want to be with this other guy more. From experience--if you have only been seperated for two month and she is shacking up with another man---she doesnt care how you feel. You need to move on--start seeing other people--dont let her know and if you are still having a hard time....try counseling for yourself--it helps!! Who knows how long her relationship will last with new guy. Put on your brave face and show her that it doesnt bother you that she does what she does.

Answer 6

never beg it will not win u her respect, stop calling her,knowing what she has done , u must really love her. so if you are determined to win her back, u will just have to wait it out, and let it play out, and stay away from her for now. no one knows what the future will bring, just know this was not about u, but about her selfish wants and needs, maybe unreaistic. stop setting yourself up for disapointment and let it alone. can't make someone love us, that doesn't. maybe she won't last long with him at all and u will be there to pick up the pieces, but it doesn't mean it won't happen again. personally i would not want to keep getting hurt, and keep waiting for someone to love me that didn't. just wasting your life and waiting on something that may never happen. the status of your marriage has been forever changed, gone is the trust u once had. it is sad that a person can reduce us to this, and get by with it, we really need to just move on and find someone else who won't do things like that to us.

Answer 7

Dude! I'm SO SORRY! Words just can't explain the h*ll you are going through, huh?

LISTEN UP! No matter what, don't listen to these people that suggest it is your fault that your wife cheated/is cheating on you. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! Cheating is never acceptable! She promised to you, her higher power, her family, your family, all of her friends and anybody else that cares anything about you and her that she would be true to you, and she broke that promise. If things were SO BAD between you and her, she could have gotten a divorce and then moved on to another relationship.

To answer your questions:

I don't really know how to get your wife back. I tend to agree with the girl who suggested that you leave her alone and act like you don't care, because, from what I have witnessed, most people go through the "don't know what you've got till it's gone" syndrome. For me, it's a pride thing. How does it make you feel to beg for her back whenever she is out with another man breaking your heart? Having said that, pride is one of the 7 deadly sins, and I know it's not always a good thing.

Will the relationship last? Who knows? It's been my experience that "rebound" relationships, cheating relationships, shady relationships of all kinds rarely last. It seems to me that most of the women who do this end up getting broke up with and run back to their husbands that they have been cheating on. You gotta ask yourself: Do you want to be that guy? Do you want to be there for her to run to whenever "this" is over? Will you ever be able to fully forgive her? Will you ever be able to move past the heart break?

Finally, do you really believe that she hooked up with this guy a month after she seperated? Trust me, the last thing I want to do is bring more heartbreak to your life, because I know how it is. I'm sure you know the answer to this question in the back of your mind even though you don't want to admit it. Heck, I still don't like to admit it and my ex wife left me about a year and a half ago and we have been legally divorced for a year. IT HURTS!

Once again, I have to ask: Are you sure you really want her back after what she has done? There is an old saying that goes something like: "men marry women thinking that they will never change, but they do; on the flip side, women marry men, expecting that they will change, and they don't." Why do I tell you that?...because, you have to ask yourself "do you want back the girl that she is now or the girl you fell in love with and married?" That was the toughest question I ever had to answer for myself. In the end, I knew the girl that I fell in love with, spent all of those years with and married was no longer around. She became someone else. It's still hard for me to believe.

I wish you the best my brother! Have a drink on me!

Stay Up Playa!

Holla!

Answer 8

The only thing you can change is yourself. Pull back and look at your part in the relationship. What did you do right? What did you do wrong? No broken relationship is the fault of only one person. Think of this like being in rehab: you have to leave your comfort zone. There are no shortcuts. You need to take this time to heal and grow- It's hard to learn to be alone. You have to be emotionally strong, healthy and independent to be any good in either your marriage or a new relationship. Learn what your mistakes were, and learn not to make them. Give her time to do the same. Worse case scenario? You've learned to love yourself.

Answer 9

calling her and buggin her isn't going to let her miss you. you need to back off and give her a chance to miss you and what you offered her. the fact that she has a new man is not good. because even though that relationship may not last she isn't dwelling on what you two had. she is focused on what she is dealing with everyday and that is the new guy,
ask yourself if you miss being with her, or if you are just too afraid of being alone. then go from there.

Answer 10

The best thing you can do right now is to move on. Get yourself together, build up your self esteem, and show her that you are confident with yourself. I hate to say this but we always want what we cant have, don't make yourself too avail. for her. The minute you don't show interest or concern in what she is doing, she is going to want to come back. WOMEN LOVE A CHALLENGE! So, give it to her. Good Luck!