My husband just left me for another woman, how the hell do you get over something like this???

Question

WOW, I received many many answers, thankyou so very much. So many good replys and answers. You are all so kind.

Answer 1

jager and xanex?

Answer 2

The first step to overcoming this pain and heartache is to realize that it wasn't your fault. It's not possible for a woman to "drive" a man into another woman's arms. She may force him to leave, but she cannot be the cause of him cheating. Some men have an inclination to cheat and some men don't. Apparently your ex had an inclination to cheat. He used the problems you might have had in your relationship as an excuse for him to cheat. Once the "new" relationship became strong enough, he left you.

I know that it's a painfully hollow feeling, but you have to realize that this so called "failure" doesn't reflect upon your efforts. You could've been the best wife possible with a relationship that functioned smoothly. Your ex just thought the grass was greener somewhere else, even if that wasn't the case. He decided to find out, and then made the decision to stay where he thought the grass was greener.

It's not your fault. He wasn't worth much to begin with, and he'll leave this woman he's with because he'll always be looking for greener pastures. Consider it good riddance on your part that he's gone. Now you can focus on figuring out what kind of a man you want and need in your life. Once you have finished with your soul searching and your wounds have healed, you can get back in the game.

I know, I've been there. If I had given up, then I wouldn't have met my husband years later after a relationship that crumbled due choosing a man with a cheating heart. It gets better when you realize that it wasn't your fault, it was going to happen anyway, and you need to spend you time looking for the man who's right for you, not dwelling on the "what ifs."

Answer 3

The pain will go away. It will always bother you to some extent that he didn't play the game by the rules though. You were supposed to be married and planninng a future together, instead, while you were home cooking and cleaning, he was sleeping around with someone else.
Here are some things to look forward to:
1. You will no longer have to wait up half the night wondering if he is coming home.
2. You no longer have to cook and clean for someone that never appreciated it, but expected it nonetheless.
3. You can come and go as you please, not worrying if his supper is ready, or if the house isn't tidy enough to meet his expectations.
4. You will ALWAYS know exactly how much is in the bank account now. No more zillion cash advances to worry about that he was taking out to spend on his other women.
5. Get even. He didn't play by the rules, so don't roll over and play dead now. Hire the best damn attorney you can find and take it all. He didn't worry about you when he did this, so it is your turn to do the same.

Answer 4

Well, I hope you get to this answer..you do have a mountain of replies.
Sweetheart: you have some good advice and some very childish advice listed above.
1) do not get even...there is no way to do it, it is a waste of your energy, is beneath you, will not get you anything positive.
2) Time wounds all heels! If there is one thing you can count on, it is that he...and she..will get exactly what is coming to them, and you will not have to do a thing.
3) She has done you one very big favor..she has taken a cheater out of your life...a cheater who could never had given you real love or happiness, just a facade. SHE is the one who will find this out, for he will continue to cheat, now on her instead of you...call her and thank her for doing you a favor, for that is exactly what she has done.
4) You are exactly the same person you were before you married the wrong person. We all make mistakes in life, if this is the biggest you make, consider yourself lucky. There is always a crop of men out there who are looking for quality in the long run, not the bed run....be discriminating this time around.
5) sue for divorce immediately, child support, and alimony. do not waste any time here.
6) Take the kids (if there are any) to mom's or a sitter for the evening and night. Get out all the memories, candles, saddest music you can find, light the candles and begin to feel sorry for yourself...have a bawling, all out pity party, and do not stop until you are completely bored with the scene...it will happen sooner than you think it will. At that point, you have reached the stage of being able to heal. Then, put all the memories in a box, tape it up and put it in the attic...don't throw them away. The farther you are away from this, the easier it will be, and it is a part of your life. There will come a day when the nastiness fades and the better memories will be there. Not a bad deal, in all....AND you are a much wiser person for all of this, much better off for a more secure future.
now if you do all that I have outlined above, you will be amazed at how quickly you will start to feel better about yourself.
The last piece of advice I will give you ... YOU are a deserving person, do NOT settle for anything less than what you want, and don't leap at the first that comes along, for you will be placing any love you had for this jerk onto them (rebounding). Wait about one year before anything serious developes...it will be real then. good luck in all that you do. Been there, done that, lived through it, and have a great life.

Answer 5

Quicker than you would believe right now. Just put on your best smile and get out and do something you enjoy doing. Take dancing lessons, go bowling, go swimming or learn to play golf. Anything you like where a lot of other people are. Try something new. What about squaredancing lessons? You wouldn't believe how much fun that is until you do it. You will meet a lot of people who are enjoying the same thing, and you will find that you have other things in common as well. And before you know it, you'll realize that you are happy. Maybe happier than you have ever been before! You may even discover that you don't need a man to be happy.

Answer 6

my husband left me after admitting that he cheated. He was a good guy, but in his words. "good guys go bad". (13 yr. marriage no kids.

Each situation is so different. I moved back to live near my family. I started to do things that I enjoyed with other people.

I see a therapist. I went to a divorce recovery class, to meet people going through similar things. I've been told that a man emotionally checks out of his marriage long before there are visible signs to his partner. In my case, it was mostly lack of maturity on his part. I have very real depression, that gets worse in the winter, and he just couldn't cope with it anymore. Lord knows I tried every antidepressant known to man.

Get yourself a counselor, or I talk to a friend to get you through the roughest stuff. It's one of the most cruel things someone can do to another. But unfortunately, it happens far too often.

I'm Sorry, It does hurt. I'm mostly sad about it now. Take one day at a time!!!!! God loves you very much. I know it doesn't seem like it, but sometime it's all we got. I also have my two cats.

Sad for you. Take care!!

Answer 7

Its hard, believe me I know. Me and my exhusband divorced 6 years ago. We have 5 children, the youngest is 6 years old. He constantly cheated throughout our whole marriage, and I cried a lot of tears, you dont get over something like this over night, but, just sit down, think about things that are truly important in your life, is there anything that you ever wanted to do, and couldnt do it before? This may seem like the end of the world, but its not, its the begining. When these things happen, they happen to put you in the place you need to be, as odd, or maybe even dumb as that sounds, its true. I went through so much crap with my ex, but you know what? here it is 6 years later, we get along so good, he calls me every morning and we talk, he'll even call maybe sometimes up to 4 times a day just to talk. Im very happy now, I never thought I would be, but you can get over it and move on, you have to allow yourself to do so, if you dont, if you constantly hold on to something you lost, God cannot bring in something to replace it. Im seeing a man right now, and I know this guy is the one, I am so incredibly happy, he makes me feel so good when Im with him, and truthfully, I have never felt this way before, not even with the ex hubby. Yeah, it took 6 years for the right guy to come in, but.... once it happens, it will definitly be worth the wait, and all the crap youve ever been through. You can do this. A really good book to read, if you have never read this one before is Joel Osteen, Your best life yet. That book will bring you so much inspiration.

Answer 8

You won't like my answer, but in your mind, you'll never get over it. You feel bad, mad, sad and a whole bunch of other emotions all wrapped up into one.

I know cause the same thing happened to me 25 years ago and I'm still p-i-s-s-e-d off about it. Back then, I wish somebody would have told me what I'm about to tell you.

You have two choices here:

1. You can let it mess up the rest of your life and make you miserable. If you do this, however, he wins! Or'

2. You can realize its over, improve your self one day at a time and move on. My goal was to make my ex-wife jealous because she realized she lost a good thing.

Drowning in pity will not help. You can mourn like its a death of something that you thought was beautiful. Then, wipe your tears and move on. The sooner you realize he won't win here, the sooner you'll feel better. Its not easy, but its the only way.

Good Luck Sweetie,
TX Guy

Answer 9

The answers Ive read here are from a bunch of young immature kids. I am older and understand the hurt that you must be feeling. There is no easy answer to your pain. If you would like to have someone to converse with send me a e-mail and I will try to talk you through this. Until then you have my sympathy and I will leave you with the knowledge that everything happens for a reason even if we cannot understand it at first. Eventually the reason for something occuring will be made clear.

Answer 10

You will get over it, but it will take a long time. It took me two years of going to a divorce support group to understand how to deal with my new life. I had to change the way I looked at myself since he had blamed it all on me being old, fat, boring, and dumb. Funny thing is that I had more degrees than he did! After a while I began to understand what happened and know that I can go into a relationship and not have to repeat the horrible ending. I now have someone who loves me much more than the ex ever could.

Answer 11

You'll probably have no choce but to move on.If he decides to go back with you,you'll probably wont trust him no more.You have to find some one that will treat you better.I know it hurts at first but life brings changes all the time.I just had a seperation with my wife but now I feel like it was ment to be.I think it was for the better.I didn't get along with her for the past 8 years no matter how much I tryed to work it out it all ways failed. You have a life of your own and its up to you to make the best of it.Don't rely on him. I'm sorry that had to happen to you but just wait things will fall into place.