Should I give him another chance???

Question

My ex-boyfriend and i had been going out for about 6 mo. when i found out i was pregnant.everything was perfect until i started getting on him about getting a job because he wasnt working and wasnt making any effort in finding a job and he was drinkin alot at the time.we started fighting alot and he called me all sorts of bad names and started threatening me saying if i ever bring another man in his sons life he'll put them in the hospital or he'll kidnap the baby and I'll never see him again.well im 8 mo. now and hes quit drinking for about 2 mo. and has 2 jobs and swears hes changed.he wants to be there for the baby and me and he tells me all the time that he loves me and he didnt mean the things he said.should i trust what he says or just forget about it and move on? keep in mind were having a baby together(thats why this decision is so hard for me).

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with saying, "prove it".
Take your time, if he hasn't overcome his drinking problem, it won't be long before he shows it.
Don't get caught in the, "I'll never do it again" cycle.
I understand that this decision is a hard one, considering your pregnant, but that should make your decision all that more important. If he's just going through the motions, but not truely changing, is this someone you want in your childs life? You are not just making a decision for yourself now, you are also deciding for your childs.

Answer 2

Honey it depends on how u see it in ur own eyes if u see him as a sweet wonderful man then go for it if u see him as a horrible man then dump him. BUT... if u choose to keep him, keep in mind all the names he has called u, all the threats about taking the baby and hospitalizing another man, remember all the fights, all the sleepless nights, keep in mind him not having a job, him having a drinking problem. Notice there are things that could backfire if u take him back. Especially the last 2 things so make the choice best for u dont let him talk u in to nuthin u dont want 2 do. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo listen to ur heart!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

On the condition he get professional assistance for the abusive behaviour. Nip this in the bud. He has a history and abuse runs deep. This is your babies life and yours you are dealing with . Draw up a prenuptial agreement that if he is ever abusive towards you or the baby you will have him incarcerated. His behaviour of abuse stems from his abusive family. Stop the cycle do not let it continue, he must seek professional counselling. It sounds like you have already made up your mind be very careful. You are dealing with more than one person when you deal with him, plus the lives of your child and self.

Answer 4

Take it slow.
Don't be in a hurry.
It is admirable that he has stopped drinking and has 2 jobs.
However, it is easy to fall into past behavior patterns.
Take is slow. Do what is best for you and your baby.
At the same time, don't do anything that might set him off.
If he feels cornered or desperate, he might react irresponsibly or dangerously.
Don't criticize and demean him. Don't say things in anger (like he did). .

When your b/f was having trouble, it was probably because he was unhappy with himself for not having a job, even though he didn't search for one. Unemployment can cause low self-esteem in men. Low self-esteem can cause anger and depression (and drinking).

In the same way we (women) need to feel loved, cherished and validated, men need to feel useful and appreciated.
Be sure to offer support and praise when he accomplishes something good. Always thank him for participation and financial aid. It shows he is important and useful. It will encourage him to continue and improve.

Good Luck

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Answer 5

I agree Scoundrel. you may provide a minute or 2 for a poorly wound watch, yet 7 minutes in not ideal. And your common sense is ideal on target. by the 4th date that is going to ba an hour you'd be waiting searching like the twerp. solid call my chum. I have a tendency to be very stingy even as it contains second opportunities. If it replaced into major to her she might want to were there 10 minutes early, not 7 minutes overdue. i does not provide this female yet another danger to go away you status there. go away her the position she is.... dumped.

Answer 6

Are you nuts? Was the sex that good that you would even, for 3.5 seconds consider keeping this LOSER around? He drinks? No job? He yells at you? Girl, are you really that dumb? What is about women that they are always attracted to LOSERS. If you are in the first trimester, get an abortion, dump the idiot, and start all over again. Next time, try thinking with your brain if you have one.

Answer 7

Ask yourself ... are you seriously considering marrying this guy, spending the rest of your life with him? Is he the one for you? If not; then what are you doing?

If your serious about this guy; get couples' counseling. You might then discover how serious he is, if things have a possibility of ever working out. Don't involve yourself in stressful situations though. Try to enjoy the remainder of your pregnancy and the birth of your child.

Answer 8

It sounds like he's trying hard, but I don't like the fact that he threatened you. When times get tough (and they will), he's liable to slide back into that behavior. Also, it took him 5 or 6 months to make the effort. My advice would be: If you are able to make it on your own, do it. However, from your question it sounds like you are still with him, if so the real question is: do you want to break up with him again?

Answer 9

you need to make that serious decision for yourself
but JMO
If you feel the need to ask a bunch of strangers what they think..
you are having serious doubts

Answer 10

we have a winner!!!!! it doesnt matter what you do with this guy because the big loser in this deal is the child and in second place your family.