I know that she was married but I was certain that over the five months we have been together that she would start working on her divorce. Her husband is aware of our affair and he is willing to work on his marriage it has been bad for some years. They started going to counseling and she states that she is going to help him understand that she no longer loves him. I have asked her numerous times to tell him that she doesn't want to be married anymore and she continues to give me reasons as to why she can't do that. She doesn't want to hurt him but I am being hurt in the process. I love her and want to be with her but I want her to stop telling her husband nothing and tell him something. I have talked to him and I told him how I feel about his wife. Yet, I just wish that she would make a decision. I am starting to feel that she is protecting my feelings and not his and her failure to not tell him anything is because maybe I am being lead on. I just don't know what to do. ??????
2006-11-18 12:58:50 · 13 answers · asked by SNK 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is the price you have to pay for getting involved in an illicit affair. You should have thought about this before getting involved.
2006-11-18 14:48:18 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until she is officially divorced from her husband, you have absolutely NO right to tell her what to do! Who do you think you are, getting involved with her KNOWING full well she is married? If you really loved her like you claim you do then you should've had enough respect for her and her marriage to stay out of it and let her make her own decision without pressuring her into doing what YOU want her to do.
I suggest you stay the hell out of the picture until she is legally divorced.
2006-11-18 21:15:13 · answer #2 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is going to counseling with him, then why not leave her alone. If I was a betting man, I would bet that she is going with him to save their marriage instead of getting a divorce.
I have been there, so what I am telling you is the truth here:
I would never tell a lady to tell her husband that she does not love him, because then you are trying to control their feelings and that is wrong.
Lets turn it around, lets say that she was telling you to divorce your wife, and for you to tell her that you do not love her and you really wanted to save your marriage.
I would never tell a person to tell another person that they do not love them.
It is time to move on and I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-18 21:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to get out of the relationship period, what right do you have to interfere with another man's marraige, HE obviously LOVES her, and wants to to continue to love her, and HER judgement is being clouded by you. I think in all fairness to you and to their marraige you need to walk away. Let them try and work on it without you being involved to confuse the situation. As for you talking to her husband that takes alot of ba**s and if I were the husband I would of beat your A** . He obviously is a bit of a wimp to let you interfere with the situation. Just leave it alone. What makes you think that she will not cheat on you when she gets bored in your relationship? I mean the saying goes once a cheat always a cheat. Stop and think about that one for awhile
2006-11-18 21:12:52 · answer #4 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maury, Jerry Sprininger
2006-11-18 21:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu need to get away from that situtation. You should not be the part of a marriage breaking up. Let them work on their marriage. How would you feel if this was you who was being cheated on? If she has done it once she will do it to you. Sorry but neither one of you can be trusted.
2006-11-18 21:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by Right Wing Extremist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we should never give our hearts or trust a married person, because what happens to us when and if they decide not to get divorced, a married person belongs to the other person they married not to u. she is stalling for time, keeping u both there so she has someone to go to. it is not fair to u that your life be out on hold. end it and don't see her until she has the divorce papers in her hand. she is odviously not ready to give up on her marriage, she is protecting his heart alot more than she is protecting yours. she is in counciling to help her marriage, think she is telling u what she thinks you want to hear, and not the truth here. she is married and he loves her too, he isn't just going to give up and let u have her. don't expect too much here, maybe it would be smart to distance myself from the situation for your own good. she may love u but she also loves him, and they have a history, he is showing her the love and respect that maybe he didn't for awhile. she is getting out of him what she wanted, he isn't going to give up on her, he is going to fight for her. she is his wife, u need to move on and find someone who doesn't belong to someone else.
2006-11-18 21:16:37 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not questioning your love, but did you say "5" months? Maybe it's not the girl your after so much, but the challenge...
If you really love her as you say you do, you'd at least give her the chance to make her marriage work!
2006-11-18 21:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by Fried Plantain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I so understand your problem....but ever think that she is playing you and has no intention of leaving her husband? Tell her she needs to make up her mind because you dont want to be the 3rd wheel anymore.
2006-11-18 21:06:17 · answer #9 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I read the letter I wondered why the husband didnt coldcock your sorry butt. Then it occurred to me you might deserve a crummy wife...keep putting up with her, she must be a good lay, you idiot.
2006-11-18 22:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋