he gets mad and turns the situation around to make me look like the bad guy and then tells me to make a decision to either put up or get out. Then he stops speaking to me for days. Is this normal male behavior? Is there a chance he will outgrow it? And how do I deal with it?
2006-11-18 12:43:47 · 5 answers · asked by kamieshac99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I have a father, four brothers, two brother in laws, a husband and three grown sons.This is not normal male behaviour.
He is abusive. It will only get worse. Move on.
2006-11-18 12:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is NOT normal male behaviour.
It sounds like classic alcoholic behaviour to me. Does he drink or drug a lot or have some other addiction?
His behaviour sounds like a side effect of a deep set problem, and he can only change if he can see it, and if he wants to change it, and that can be a very long process and some people never make that decision.
He is 'dodging' the issue and distracting away from what HE has done, by turning things around on you.
It is a twisted thing to do and means he is not psychologically or emotionally mature or sound.
He is disrespecting you by doing this. It is manipulative and controlling.
If you relate to the fact that he has an alcohol or drug problem, look up Al-Anon or Nar-Anon on the web. They are 12 step support groups that will help YOU. (not him)
If not, then my advice would be
1) Don't accept unacceptable behaviour
2) Don't argue with him, it's like beating your head against a brick wall. Like trying to talk sense into a crazy person.
3) Focus on yourself and YOUR life and what YOU want, and ask yourself, why you would be spending so much time with someone that disrespects you and violates your trust?
4) Realise you deserve better. You deserve to be treated with respect.
5) Realise that maybe he will never change. He may not be able to fulfill your needs. No use blaming him, just move on.
6) Get some emotional support for yourself. Talk to people - don't isolate.
And remember you're not alone.
I have had partners like this. I was in a sea of confusion and hurt, and I'm so glad I moved on from that, and now I have a great relationship fwith a decent person who cherishes me.
My life is so much sunnier today :) Good luck and I wish you strength
2006-11-18 21:00:23 · answer #2 · answered by Ambience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not normal...and I used to like someone who did the same thing he does this so that he doesn't have to feel bad for the mistake that HE made....he makes ex cues and places the blame on you convincing himself that he has done nothing wrong...It's actually extremely unhealthy and you need to make it clear to him that he needs to make an effort to take responsibility for his actions or your out! Otherwise you will be continuing this cycle forever.
2006-11-18 20:50:09 · answer #3 · answered by thereis 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he is inmature and won't ever accept responsibility for himself EVER.
Husband is like this and he's inmature, lacks self esteem/self confidence and needs to grow up.
Walk away if you are able. You won't be sorry
2006-11-18 20:46:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him. he's an abuser.
2006-11-18 20:45:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋