My husband has pushed me over the edge. There is so much detail I cannot include here because of lack of space, but I'll try to do my best. We've been married for almost 4 years. We have two beautiful boys, ages 1 and 3. My husband has a HUGE anger problem, and over reacts to everything, then says he's sorry afterward, because he knows he's going to lose me if he doesn't do something.
Tonight I went to a meeting and was 10 minutes late getting home (he had to go back to work) and he brought the kids to me, and put them on the ground in the parking lot (the 3 year old with no shoes, and the 1 year old in just a diaper and t-shirt). Keep in mind it's Idaho in Mid November! To top that one off, he brought them to me not even buckled in the car let alone in car seats (and was driving like a maniac, they were all over in the back seat).
After this happened, I called him to ask what was going on, and he told me "go to hell, and F*** off." and hung up on me.....
2006-11-18 12:35:09 · 21 answers · asked by Mrs. Lucky 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is an ongoing problem. I have set up counseling twice and he didn't go, and he set it up a couple months ago, and went a couple times then stopped. I just see no effort on his part. He works long days - 7am to 7pm usually, and gets home in time to help me feed the boys, then put them to bed. When I ask him to spend time with his boys, he freaks out. He's too tired from work, and just wants to watch a movie. His job and his TV have taken priority over his family, and his treatment of me (in my opinion) has become abusive.
I feel like my two boys shouldn't be around this, even if it means not having a father in their everyday life. I am against taking them away from him permanently, and that would never be my intention. I just feel like I'm not giving them a fighting chance, and I'm selling myself short.
PLEASE HELP! or offer advice :)
2006-11-18 12:38:15 · update #1
BTW - he's taken anger management before, didn't help! He has severe ADHD, and when medicated becomes crazy and angry...I'm at a loss
2006-11-18 12:39:23 · update #2
Sounds like it's time to speak to a divorce lawyer. I'm sorry but he's a creep. Make sure you have all your finances in order, a bag packed for you and your son's and then MOVE THE HECK OUT!
"Anger issue"? Sounds more like ABUSE to me! And dropping your children off like that, that's just child endangerment!
Wow!
I don't have enough space to rip him, so honey--just remember---NO MAN IS WORTH YOUR TEARS!
Kick him to the curb and make a new life for you and the boys---they do NOT, I repeat DO NOT need to see "Daddy's anger" as a role model--a BLUEPRINT--for their future relationships.
Good luck and God bless, kiddo!
2006-11-18 12:38:50 · answer #1 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would get a lawyer try to find out if your kids have been abused my main question to you have you left him are you afraid of him? if you left him and it is from domestic violence. you can get restrain order and if he is abusing your children his rights can be taken away that my advice. why aren't you calling the police? they are there to help you leave the guy and if you have no place to go the house of Ruth will help you. the thing that concerns me more than anything is that in domestic violence they can kill you and those babies look what happen to Nichole Simpson. He was a famous football player that killed his wife over domestic violence and her boyfriend was murder it was from domestic violence. there was a big court case with O.J. Simpson the point is this what can happen if you don't leave and make sure you file a restrain order, for you and the kids take him to court file with the police and since you are a victim it won't cost you anything the Distant Attorney will file the cases. Good luck and God bless you
2006-11-18 20:43:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has no respect 4 u
he has no thought 4 u
and worst of all he is a terrible father
think on and way up the pros and cons of ur relationship if u decide to split stay strong and if u decide 2 keep him scare the **** out of him first i dont know maybe leave him to stew 4 a week while u go 2 your mothers with the boys maybe then he might get of his *** and do something 4 real about his temper at least then he will know u r 4 real and wont carry on taking **** good luck
2006-11-18 20:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by sarah71397 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get yourself and those kids out of that situation and fast. I mean this is not just about you anymore, it is more about those poor baby's and he obviously doesn't give a rats a** about them either, or he would of taken 10 minutes to protect them. So it is time for you to go, don't let him tell you he will change and lalalalala that is all a control issue and guys like this like to be able to have all the control. Do this for your kids please they deserve to grow up in a stable peaceful environment. They did not ask to be brought into this world you both chose to bring them here and now it is YOUR responsibility to keep them safe.
2006-11-18 20:39:24 · answer #4 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only does he have an anger problem he responds irrationally when it gets the better of him.
If you think he can be saved, suggest anger management. He must be aware of his problem and should be receptive.
You might also start documenting his unruly behavior. This information may come in handy. It will certainly justify any actions you take resolving the problem he has created for you.
2006-11-18 20:45:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I'd say that the term dead beat, is not to be confused with a dead BEET.
But to answer your question, I can only ask you a question.
Why aren't you calling the police or child protective services, packing up the kids and leaving, instead of coming here and asking peoples oppinion!
2006-11-18 20:43:22 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Right 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcohol is a no.1 factor for breaking up a marriage. If the 2 of you have the nerve to curse at each other, why stay married, it makes no sense.
2006-11-18 21:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by kayef57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt sound hopeful to think that he will change...particularly because of his maturity and relaxation levels. Hate to say it but I think you need to get away from him and stay away. Buy him car seats and see to it he uses them as best you can if custody does happen, though it sounds like it might be a blessing to him. Good luck...even if you love him you love those children and theyre being compromised around him.
2006-11-18 22:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is displaying classic signs of domestic violence. There is a very good chance that his behavior will escalate to full scale violence against you or the children. Get out of the relationship now, don't let him guilt trip you, or convince you that YOU need him, what you need is to keep your children and yourself safe.
2006-11-18 21:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by Shelley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
inapropriate behavior and putting the kids in danger. not exacly someone u feel u can trust. maybe its time for a separation so he can think on what he is doing. theres got to be consequences for such behavior. he needs therapy and anger management. when we can't trust our mate it definitly does something to the marriage, if we can't feel we or our children are safe than what's the point in staying.
2006-11-18 20:40:37 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋