I have been with my bf for eight years now, we have a great relationship, and he is extremely close to his parents. I work with his mother who is a kind catholic woman, and his sister. I have to see them everyday. Over a period of about a year now I have suspected that my bf's mother is cheating on his father with their best family friend/neighbor. This friend has signed everything over to my bf in his will, which I found too friendly as well. He is a good man and helps us with anything we need. My bf's father is sick a lot, and though kind, a little bossy. His mother admits to a few people that she wishes he would die sometimes in his sickness. She is also secretly on the phone with their friend constantly before/after work, and I caught them on the phone having a pretty intimate conversation...the point it, I confronted the friend, and he admitted everything to me. Should I tell my bf? would it destroy us? I must remain loyal to him/dont want to hurt him...I am so torn..
2006-11-18 12:18:58 · 22 answers · asked by carrie p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know you don't want to hurt him, and he would probably never want to know that his mother is cheating on him, but it would probably be the worst if he finds out that you knew and never told him. Especially since the friend told you everything, and is aware that you know of the affair.
2006-11-18 12:23:04 · answer #1 · answered by ;-) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You young lady are being a 'busybody' getting into other peoples business, you have no business confronting the neighbor guy or anyone else for that matter. What is wrong with you...don't have enough drama in your life so you have to look elsewhere?
You need to ignore all the stuff going on around this dysfunctional family and concentrate on the two of you. If you have to you must move away from them and get your own place so you will not be 'forced' to eve drop on others telephone conversations!!
You love your boyfriend, your relationship is with him, work on that, be there for him, to hold him when he needs you, if you care about him this deeply then direct your energies to being there for him and with him.
2006-11-18 12:34:25 · answer #2 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he has long term permanent plans with you I would tell him. What kind of relationship can last long on lies? He will wonder what else you are keeping from him and lose all faith in you. HOWEVER, it may be wise to tell the mom that you are uncomfortable having this knowledge and keeping the secret from her son. She may allow you to tell him if she is no longer in love with dad and it may be a relief for her not to have to tell him, but I doubt it. Usually people don't want to be found out and she needs to know that the whole world could know (though not by you) and may now have a chance to explain her side to her family or atleast her son.
2006-11-18 12:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by bellgoddess1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I pay attention you. My boyfriend cheated on me while he became into under the impression of alcohol, I took him returned and we are nevertheless mutually. yet 8 years?? If he can do this to you after that long, you may wager he will do it returned. he's pathetic and you will possibly desire to attend to him like he's dogs sh*t on the backside of your shoe. you have the main appropriate physique of recommendations, a minimum of you recognize which you would be able to desire to pass on. You dont might desire to start your existence over, only discover somebody else and proceed on. adult men cheat for various motives that girls human beings tend to interpret as something THEY did incorrect. You didnt do a damn element incorrect so dont pass getting low vanity or something. Im specific youre pleasing and clever lady. Thats why he needed to be with you contained in the 1st place. He cheated with the aid of fact he needed something diverse, there became into no longer something you will possibly desire to do to make him stay hassle-free. adult men lose interest of having the comparable element accepted in case you recognize what I propose, no longer all adult men are like this even with the undeniable fact that. Many adult men available understand the sacrifice they make while commiting themselves to a girl, they might desire to resign the sport. quite some adult men have no problem doing this, others, like your ex boyfriend, have dedication subject concerns. This guy isn't worth it slow. You deserve a helluva lot greater effective than him. pass finally end up a real guy. You deserve the superb of the superb, and only with the aid of fact I dont recognize you doesnt propose I cant say what you deserve and what you dont. each and every hassle-free stable lady merits the superb. i'm getting a feeling youre hassle-free, pass get em' woman (; And contained meanwhile, only shop your self busy. friends. college. Jobs. regardless of. Youll recover from him, believe me. some guy would be commemorated to heal your broken coronary heart.
2016-10-04 03:02:10 · answer #4 · answered by esannason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As difficult as it is you should not tell him because he will then confront his mother and her friend which will have repercussions that will change all of your relationships. His mother will dislike you and perhaps never speak to you. His sister will tell her brother to leave you. He will be miserable and find fault with you because you caused dissention in his family and will end your relationship. If you stir the pot, it will boil over.
2006-11-18 12:50:33 · answer #5 · answered by madisonian51 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a hornets nest. If you want to get stung, then go ahead and tell him. If you want to continue building a solid relationship with him, do not tell him.
Learning how to place principles before personalities isn't always easy, especially if one doesn't know what the next right thing to do is.
2006-11-18 12:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by Ms. Balls 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell him and make sure you not telling him because you want him to do something about it but to confide in him and remain honest. Honesty in a relationship is very important...even if it hurts.
2006-11-18 12:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by fade_this_rally 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very unfortunate situation for everyone. It's also none of your business and you had no right to "confront" anyone.
There's nothing to be "torn" about, it isn't your business, stay out of it unless you want to end up paying the consequences.
2006-11-18 12:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were married, I would say tell him. But since you are just the g/f, you can be easily disposed of. HIs mom will eventually screw up and he will find out on his own. But, I would never let him know that you knew it first.
2006-11-18 12:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by sweetnessmo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be diplomatic in answer. Instead of telling him take him to the place where they have their lies, not in office but outside. He should not know u have brought him just for this. It should be casual.
Make sure ur conscience is free, not burdensome.
2006-11-18 12:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by Venkatesh V S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋