This is a very difficult question, one that's been asked by every mature male throughout history. Truth be told there's no easy answer. Trust, Respect, Understanding, Tolerance and Heart. T*R*U*T*H. Truth is the foundation to all relationships, a marriage also needs absolute devotion. As my significant other has just reminded me, I'm not singularly qulified to answer your question, but I think these are at least a really good starting point.
2006-11-18 12:23:46
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answer #1
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answered by spacemonkey 2
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Hi charles,
If there is a secret, I think most people would all like to know, but there is one I know of and it does make a happy marriage.
It is this:
Having your own identity is number 1. This doesn't mean having a secret life or anything weird, it means that you can be yourself in a marriage like have your career goals and have independance where you are not joined at the hips, but having your own interests.
This time to be yourself, will create some distance in the day and will allow the other person to feel continually interested in what the other person brings to the relationship. It is both ways and each person will work to keep the interest in the other alive if there is some independance between each other. You work at a marriage as if you are always discovering the other person what they want and to support them in any goals they may have. The husband, like the wife, is an individual within the marriage,
the second biggesst thing, is that you don't allow work commitm-
ents to take over the relationship. A healthy balance is when you know what your limits are and to say 'no' to a boss if he expects too many work hours to be put in where it will cause the wife or husband to feel neglected.
The third most important thing, is trust. To have trust, you will also have committment and this is the back-bone of any good successful marriage. This will allow each other the freedom to be the individual they want to be without fearing punishment or rejection. If the husband likes to play guitar, then the wife will be happy to encourage his interest. If the wife wants to be a rock singer, then the husband will also support and encourage her.
Obviously, if the interests lie in anything that is going to jepordise the marriage such as swinging, pole-dancing and any of that kind of stuff, then this will be a good basis for a failed marriage more often than not.
I am talking about healthy interests.
It also depends on the values and kinds of personalities that make or break a marriage. two emotionally damaged people will never make a marriage work unless both get therapy alone and as a couple and are less likely to remain married until they are really sorted out psychologically.
A lot of people don't like or love themselves enough and expect another person to love and like them and fulfill all of their needs and this exhausts and abuses the other person's resources of love and commitment. So in any marriage, there have to be at least a husband and wife who like and love themselves enough to not depend entirely on the other to make them happy.
I hope that I have managed to answer your question? - This is the best that I can do but have tried to answer as honestly as I can. I used to be a couple's counsellor.
2006-11-18 12:32:27
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answer #2
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answered by Shikira-trudi 3
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2016-04-13 14:31:52
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Fight for it!! Love the other person, its a 2 way street. Have Christian values. A Marriage. a happy one is for life. Give and take. Sometimes you have to take more than give. Love is the Key, but it has to be from both parties. Divorce is the last stage. You find the fight in you when it is too late, where did all that passion go when you were in love. I have been married for 22 yrs and I love my husband more now then I did then, we both have faults. But over come your differences. Communicate.
2006-11-19 04:54:19
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answer #4
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answered by Deedee 1
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The secret of a long and happy marriage is........one of you work 12 hours a night and the other works 12 hours a day . Arguments are impossible !
2006-11-18 12:14:21
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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OK. You asked. Studies have shown that men and women that have been married a long time and both of them say their happy look a lot like each other. Men get married to have more sex in their life. If your a man a you can answer the question, "Would I still want to be with this person if I never could have sex with her again", in the affirmative you should get married to the person. Women get married (they won't admit this for some reason) to provide for the best care of their child so the question should be, "If he could never work again (provide any kind of finaincial resource) would I still want to be with him", is affirmative then you should get married to the person.
2006-11-19 03:21:15
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answer #6
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answered by Bollingg1 2
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Love each other like crazy
Always listen to the other person's point of view
Remember that at least half the time you are wrong
Do nice things for no reason at all
Make a regular time to be together to talk even if it is just 10 minutes a day.
If you are angry say something right at that time do not let it simmer
Love each other like crazy and never never forget how that feels.
2006-11-18 12:04:50
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answer #7
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answered by CindyLu 7
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I would have to say that for a happy marriage you would need a couple of things, they'd have to be tolerance, love, understanding, trust... and don't forget the high sex drive... :) but before all this you need to know that you are definitely gin to be in this relationship for as long as you live, and that you can handle this...
2006-11-18 13:43:53
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answer #8
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answered by kyyk 2
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There is no secret, but you must trust each other, and you must be able to communicate to one another healthy when dissagreements and arguements happen to resolve the problem. And last you must both make a committment to stay together no matter what. Love conquers all. Remember, you can dissagree with one another but you are not supposed to be dissagreeable with one another.
2006-11-18 12:13:31
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answer #9
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answered by MeToo 2
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I don't think there is any one thing. But I think honesty is number one. If you can't be honest with each other, then I don't see how it can be a truly happy marriage.
2006-11-18 12:02:53
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answer #10
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answered by kkolnows 2
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