Do u leave some1 u love ?

Question

I was in a bad relationship for 18yrs he beat me and was never there for his 2 children. now im with a guy who i love with all my heart he has been there for me and my teenage kids for the past 4 years. He wanted kids of his own and i cant give them to him as my ex beat me so bad i had to have a full hystorectomy i feel as though i am holding him back from having the precious gift. he has said as long as he has me he isnt bothered but i dont no whether to leave him so he can find that special person to have kids with or do i stay with him cause i love him with all my heart. sensable answers plz

Answer 1

I have a male friend who is now married to someone who has had children from an ex, but who can't give him any. they adopted a child together as he was keen to have a child to love. he has been married for 14 years and does not regret his situation .
i am not saying that your love will want to adopt, but he has indicated that he is happy to be with you. accept that you now have the love you deserve . it is really up to him to decide whether he can live without children of his own, he is an adult who can make that decision for himself.
perhaps you are concerned that in a few years he may regret his decision.But try to not let it make you so paranoid that it makes your relationship suffer. come on ----enjoy the love.

Answer 2

I have been in an abusive relationship too.You have found love,as I have done.We deserve to be happy,and treated with the upmost respect.He has told you he isn't bothered.Accept what he says and do not dwell on it.There is nothing worse than to keep going on about something and making yourself miserable.Cherish the children you already have.My man can't have kids.I would have loved more,but I have accepted it.When you love someone with all your heart it really doesn't matter.You say you have teenage kids,so do I.You must be about the same age as me.Can you imagine starting all over again with a new baby?Look at things with a different perspective.In time will be more freedom,and money.Quality time together.It really is not the end of the world.Don't leave him,you would be making a huge mistake.

Answer 3

first off, I'm glad you got rid of that other guy. he so wasn't worth someone like you.
secondly, the fact that you cannot have kids is not your fault. your partner understands that and you need to leave to terms with it also. i do not see why you think that you are holding him back from having precious gifts.its true that the kids in the relationship are not his, but he has already decided that hes OK with it.he said that he isn't bothered as long he has you. he knows that the situation is hurting you too and he probably feels guilty for bringing it up. i see no reason why you should let him go. he doesn't want to leave you cause he loves you.

you are already that special person that he is looking for. he will always want kids of his own. but i don't think that either of you will be happy if you let him go. be grateful for him and thank him for his understanding. let him know that you understand how he may be feeling about kids and apologize for not being able to give him that, but if above all, let him know that he has your love and that you love him with all your heart.
hold on to him. don't give up just as yet. all the best to you both

Answer 4

Why the hell would you want to leave him. He sounds like a caring individual who would do almost anything for you. My wife and i are trying for children and are being unsuccessful. we have had ivf twice and still no joy. She has said the same to me as she knows how much i want kids of my own. I say that as long as i am with her then that is all that matters. I mean what i say. trust me, leaving him would be a mistake that you would regret for the rest of your life.

Answer 5

My Dear,

You have been threw hell!!! My heart goes out to you.You finally got some peace and love and something inside is making you feel like you donot
deserve to be happy. Well let me tell you. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!
YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED!!! So please....enjoy it and stop trying to sabatoge your good thing. If your guy says he's okay as long as he has you;
than damn it !!!! believe him!!!! and be okay with it. Sweetie some people do not even make it out of abusive relationships alive!!!! You made it out alive and in addition, you found true love.
How blessed can you be?!!!!

Now I want you to look in the mirror everday and give yourself a hug and tell yourself you are worthty. Once you have convinced yourself and the horrids of
abuse no longer haunt you.

If you are up to it (raseing teens is no joke) ask him if he wishes to adopt
a small child. If he still says he okay with your situation as is. except it!! and just be happy !!!!

good luck!!!

Answer 6

its hard to find true love, so if you love him and he accepts you the way you are and loves you then why would u leave him? if you do that, you would never live a happy life, you would always be wondering what would have happened if you didnt leave him? so hold on to him, love him and be with him, because true love may never come again, and without love, you can feel empty from inside

Answer 7

Ahhhhhhhhhh You both seem to love each other very much, why not take his acceptance at face value, why rock the boat, stay with him, talk to him and let him know how you feel, be honest. Why not consider fostering or adoption?

Good Luck

Answer 8

thats a hard decision,you will always feel like you are being selfish,and one day he will want children more than likely and by then you will be so inlove and it will hurt you like hell,but if you keep
in mind, one day he is going to want his own and this just might not work out forever, then
stay in the relationship until that day comes but be prepared in your heart

Answer 9

Thats a hard one ... why don't u let him decide for himself whether he wants to have his own kids ... if he does ...then your relationship will end eventually anyway, ... after 4 years .. you should already know the answer.


Dr BAd

Answer 10

I think the answer to this lies in how the pair of you feel about each other.
Does he know that you feel like this?
I would try sitting down with your partner and have a frank discussion about this matter. he needs to know how you feel, and you also need to know how he feels too, if you don't then you will always have doubts about the relationship between yourselves.
does he know that you feel like this?