What is wrong with me?

Question

I like to be submissive to my husband. I prefer that he decides my life. I love to cook, stay at home and raise my children. It is a emotional and sexual turn on for me to fulfill his every whim. I don't want to work outside the house, or be a feminist. Is this normal??

For those of you that wish to know:

I don't have a sister, I'm not a troll (what's a troll?) I ask him everything, I have no clue what I would do if he divorced me, He usually approves of me unless I'm doing something really stupid i.e: playing in traffic
I usually agree with what he wishes, but not always, i.e no honey you really don't need that 10th helping of turkey, Yes I'm usually his shadow, and I don't think he's going anywhere I've been with him 10 years, since I was 18 and left my parents, we have 5 kids.

Answer 1

Nothing wrong with that as long as you're happy.

Answer 2

Perhaps it is a problem. What might happen is you get so dependent on him that you lose your personal identity. At the end of the day, you have your own needs, desires and thoughts and no matter how close (or submissive) you are to your husband, that will never change. I would guess that your level of submissiveness is not healthy in the long run.
What if you get divorced? How do you react when he dissaproves of something you do? Do you agree with everything he says, asks you to do or what he thinks? Has this been the case with every many you've dated (assuming there have been others?)
Submissiveness can be a turn on, emotionally and physically but it sounds like you're basically his shadow. That can't be healthy.
Best of luck.

Answer 3

I have a wonderful Mother. But looking back over my life the one thing I wish the most would have been to have a Mother home all the time. I understand economy has made it hard for Mother's to do this today, But if you can cut back on material things, like this new Playstation 3, brand name clothes for kids, uneccessary frivilous things, and be there to read to a kid, be home when they come home from school and have had a bad day and need a warm hug or soft place to fall, then please for your kids do it.
The world makes just living within your means at the very least, extremely difficult. If your husband adores you and treats you with as much emotional and sexual fulfillment as you say you give him, then I say "GO FOR IT GIRL!!!" As long as hubby, kids, and most importanty yourself are fulfilled who cares if it is normal. Look around what else is? Our president, our President for God's sakes embarrassed us (Clinton) with his sexual mistakes. What he did, he didn't only do to Hilary, he embarrassed us all. Not so sure this was NORMAL. We have people standing in lines for playstation 3. NORMAL. Don't think so. Stand in your own shoes and stand proud of being a Mom that chooses to make herself available for her children. It seemed we had less teen pregnancies, substance addicted, gun toting, rude, in control children back when the majority of Mom's stayed home. If it isn't normal. Do it anyway. You have at least one fan in me, and I am sure you have a few more with hubby and kids.

Answer 4

Don't be ashamed to feel this way as long as you're happy. Not every women is cut out to wear a business suit and an apron. Don't listen to your yenta friends. Be proud of the position you've taken. In the animal kingdom, there are pack leaders and submissives. There has to be both.

Answer 5

Is this normal? Of course it is, because it is normal to you.
The problem starts when people look to society to decide for them what is "normal". If we lived our lives according to the next guy, or what others have declared as normal, then we end up being isolated and unhappy.

Feminism isn't about not loving your man, but loving yourself as a woman. If you feel fulfilled as a woman to indulge your man his every whim, then you are a woman who knows what she wants and cannot be considered an "enemy" to any definition of Feminism. He is not forcing this submission upon you, you are giving it freely.

You live your life, no one else, therefore be happy and comfortable with your decision.

Answer 6

If it makes you happy, then who cares? It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. What is normal for one person may not be normal for another. There is nothing wrong with you! If you have a good life, then why would you even worry about it?

Answer 7

That's hot. I could never do it, but I'll bet life is a lot easier without having to work at all. It used to be normal not even 50 years ago, so who cares what your personal preferences are? Screw feminism, it's so dramatic.

Answer 8

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU IF THIS IS WHAT MAKES YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY AND MAKES YOUR MARRIAGE WORK. THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMEN WHO WOULD RATHER STAY HOME AND RAISE THEIR OWN CHILDREN INSTEAD OF LEAVING THEM IN DAY CARE OR WITH BABYSITTERS THAT THEY SOMETIMES HAVE TO WONDER OR WORRY ABOUT.I THINK IT IS BEST FOR THE CHILDREN IF ONE OF THE PARENTS CAN RAISE THEIR OWN CHILDREN THEN THEY KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IS BEING INSTILLED INTO THEM. THERE IS NOTHING CONFUSING ABOUT THIS. IF IT IS NOT BROKE, DON'T FIX IT.AND MY HAT IS OFF TO YOU FOR WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

Answer 9

Some people are just different from average, and if you are different in a way that makes you content with your current lifestyle there is no reason to change.

Answer 10

It doesn't sound like anythingis wrong with you to me.

You are unusual, though. So...if you are truly how you present yourself (a married female), then that's great.

If you are a troll, well, I would hope you find a more productive hobby.

Answer 11

As long as your philosophy pleases you without hurting yourself as well as others, I see no problem. However, if your subconscious tells you that you are doing something wrong, you ought to discuss it openly with your husband and if need be to seek professional help.