my husband does not respect me and does not show me any affection and does not tell me a compliment or anything to make me feel good. I feel bad about myself when i'm around him or with him. sometimes i really hate him. What should i do to change that?
i want him to respect me and admire me but i guess this will never happen with this loser! i tried to change him but i couldn't. I just don't like him and i feel stuck with him and i want to cheat on him with somebody who knows how to treat a woman and to make me feel good! Help?
2006-11-18 10:34:34 · 48 answers · asked by Jessica L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you need to approach this whole situation from another angle. Like paying more attention to your self and do the things that make you feel good and boost your self steem. I don't mean by going out and having an affair, but stop wallowing in self pity because you husband is a di*k. Once you start doing the things that make you happy, he'll come around to grovel and ask for forgiveness for being such a blind jerk.
2006-11-18 10:50:52 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 7⤊ 1⤋
I understand the way you feel after reading everything he has done to you, but please stay calmed, because desperation is a vey bad counselor.
I agree with some other about seeing a counselor, thats just in case that you still want to save the marriage, and of course, if he agree too, because if he doesnt want to, then its worthless and a waste of time.
But under any circunstances, you should cheat never. Cheating is good never. Cheating will bring good things never. Even in the Bible says that you recognize a tree for its fruits, a bad tree can never have good fruits. Cheating is bad, for you, for the other person and for him. And, its very dangerous, and take it seriously. You never know how someone can react to discover hes been cheated. So, it would be risking yourself in exchange of more troubles on the ones you alredy have.
If you dont feel good, if he treats you so bad, maybe separation is the best choice, because you deserve being happy, and you got married because you tought that man was going to make you happy. But if you were wrong, then its never late to start all over. I know its hard, even to break up with a negative relation, but look to your future, look to your self, and love yourself more, show yourself more affection, look for your peace, pray, go to church, read good books, and you go to a particular counselor.
God bless u a lot and good luck!
2006-11-18 10:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Shannella 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Has he ALWAYS been like this? You married him for a reason. He must have been a great guy at some point in time. Find out what's bothering him. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Let him know exactly what it is that you are lacking in your marriage. Give him a fair chance and warning before you turn to plan B. If that doesn't work, then go for what you know girlfriend!!!! Guys are weird like that. They don't wanna treat you right, but as soon as you fine someone else who will, they automatically wanna straighten up their act. The worst mistake a man can make is not take heed to his woman when she is unhappy. Females are very mysterious creatures, we can love you hard, but when you hurt us, we can crush you into tiny specks of dust!!!!!!! Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.
2006-11-18 10:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa L 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i have been in your shoes and knoi w what ur going thru u can not change him so try talking to him tell him how u feel and if that doesnt help kill him, nah jk. i went thru all kinds of measures to change the way i look i bought new sexier clothes, changed my hairstyle wore color contact lenses, wore makeup more did he notice? no, so i was forced to move on which is what i am doing now, now my personal changes were for me all along i finally got the courage to do something to change my situation and i am doing it with help from a good friend who is there for me. i cheated on him as well and it made no difference so if all else fails then leave there r better fish in the sea and if he sees u actually leave he may want to get u back and see what an idiot he was, if he doesnt come aftr u then he isnt worth it, sorry to say. he has to see u do something especially if u say ur leaving ur done and have had enuff u have to have had enuff which is what happend to me. hope this helps u out.lol 2 u
2006-11-18 14:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by smiley283 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your life in your hands and leave.
Get yourself organised first such as consult a lawyer about the best way to protect yourself financially. organising a place to live, organise some way of supporting yourself if you don't already have a job. Also organise a support group amongst your friends as it's very challenging to leave and be on your own.
After a while when you're feeling on top of things, start going out and having fun. You'll meet someone where you least expect it.
2006-11-18 10:41:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not cheat on him, it is not worth it. I lived with a man like that myself. The only way that I could get him to change was to leave him and I did. That was his wake up call and it did wake him up. But of course I had to give up my house and my job, all of it. But he is waking up and it is taking time but he is starting to come around. We have been separated now for almost a year, but he is getting there. But I never cheated on him and I will not cheat on him as I don't believe in doing that. Cheating is wrong any way you want to look at it and there is no excuse for it.
2006-11-18 10:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him or if you cant talk to him show him this question you asked,leave it onscreen when he comes in and walk out of the room,my guess is that he will look to see what your upto,he might have problems of his own that he is too proud to let you know about or he might feel the same way you do and you need to talk to find out where you go from here.dont cheat on him though as that would be a killer blow and you might fix things if you stay faithful but not if you cheat,if your leaving him then you can look for a new guy after things are sorted between you two.
good luck on whatever happens.
2006-11-18 10:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by slaine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really hate him then you should divorce him. However, to get respect you have to give it.
Do you really respect him? Considering you called him a Loser and already have plans of cheating on him, I would say NO you don't respect him.
2006-11-18 10:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to live your life best as you see it. If your husband does not respect you, and you hate him -- move on. Why should you make yourself feel worthless, and waste your life on a loser. Get rid of the bum.
You don't have to cheat on him, cut your ties altogether. Your life is to short for someone else's bullshit. If you cheat on him, without cutting all ties, you will be cheating yourself out of a goodtime.
Try to live like everyday is your last day on Earth. One other thing, is he paying any of your bills ? -- NO. If he was, he would be a problem for you.
Real men pay bills, and respect their women.
2006-11-18 10:45:51 · answer #9 · answered by marvin d 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry. Obviously he's very bad for your "self-image". If you have tried talking to him about it and he isn't willing to change, maybe it's time to move on.
You can't change anyone, he has to want to change. You deserve to feel good about yourself (not that you need a man to make that happen). You are only "stuck" if you allow yourself to be. Don't "cheat" on him, you will only lose respect for yourself and make everything worse. "Cheating" never fixes anything!
You deserve better, work on your self esteem and get rid of him if he isn't willing to work on his.
2006-11-18 12:39:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋