I need a womans view on love,marriage and being faithful.?

Question

ladies pleasssse tell me why a woman would have an affair on her husband after 14 yrs of marriage.she is a person that suffers from depression ,she has turned her attention toa younger man 25 yrs old who lives with his mom.he already had a failed marriage after only 2 months .from what my wife tells me .and he understands her so she says.excuse me but I was 25 at one time and hung around with guys my age.these guys werent into seriouse relationships ,they knew how to sweeten a girl up so they would give up the candy,if you know what I mean.I have explained this to my wife and shes on cloud nine over this guy and thinks he only thinks about her.but she met him on the internet.I'm not perfect but I know in my heart that I am in love with my wife.I dont think the grass is greener on the other side do you?

Answer 1

She is depressed and probably feeling insecure. I believe that she probably likes this guy because he makes her feel younger. However, you are right. The grass is not greener on the other side. Most likely, he will probably date her for "the candy" and once someone more attractive comes along, he'll most likely leave her. I hate to be so brutal.
Here are some tips to boost her ego and hopefully help her realize that you are such a good guy:
*pull her closer when talking to someone of the opposite sex, even if it's a relative.
*surprise her with wine and bubble bath, possibly leading into a massage?
*do fun activities with her, go out and have fun together.
*tell her she is beautiful and give her affection in public(in moderation)
*as crude as this sounds (I apologize if anyone is offended) but give her foreplay!

If all else fails and she still leaves you, if you truely love this woman, be there for her when she falls down. If she does this again, then she doesn't deserve you and you shouldn't let yourself get stepped on.
I wish you the best of luck.
*

Answer 2

Marriage should be taken seriously by both you and your spouse. You need to take her back down memory lane of the love you had for each other when you first met. I don't know how old your wife is but, she might be going thru menopause. You might want to see if you both can go to a marriage and family therapist together. You also might want to think about have you been showing her attention and showing her that she means lot to you. There is no excuse for cheating. Communicating with your spouse is very important and let her know that you want to fix the wrong between you. That man that she is seeing is nothing more than a home wrecker. He started with your wife and will leave her when he is done.

Answer 3

I dont think the grass is greener on the other side either, tho I also know that we have needs and that sometimes our hubbys don't listen to what we are truely saying, or we don't feel comfortable talking to our hubby's for fear of their response. I am not condoning your wife's actions at all. I am expressing my experiences in marriage. But if she feels neglected in any way she might go somewhere else to fill that void. And if she is depressed, she might be wanting to find that hapienss that she has when she was younger. there are so many varriables that it is hard to diagnose, but good luck and try to make her feel extra special, and keep talking to her. You might even need to see a marriage councelor if you are not already.

Answer 4

Well, my heart breaks for you, but no, I can't tell you why she would have an affair. When you get married, you marry for life. At least, that's the way it should be.

I'll be praying that you and your wife will work things out and keep on being faithful to each other.

In the meantime, you might try winning her over again. Act like you aren't married and want to marry her. Give her chocolate! All women love chocolate. Or most, anyway. I know I would be swayed by a single red rose on my pillow with a sweet note when I get home from work. Try that. And above all, keep telling her you love her and keep being faithful yourself!

Answer 5

You must have too much class, and intelligence for her to handle.
It's strange isn't it that they downgrade rather than upgrade.

Take a look at it: a 25 year old momma's boy. He'll dump your wife too if the mother doesn't beat her off beforehand.

The momma is in control here. Momma got rid of his wife in the failed marriage. It's kind of like that movie Psycho.

Call an attorney because you will never trust her again. You don't want to police her every move if you took her back.

Answer 6

NO everyone sh*t stinks, but just saying you love her is not enough. Are you communicating your feeling to her. The longer you are together the harder u have to work on maintaining a good solid and respectful marriage. You have to understand that women crave emotional intimacy. That means constantly reassuring and making an effort to communicate the love that u r feeling inside. We need to feel that we are loved by the gestures, and affections you give us. So don't just tell her you love her, show her in every way and in everything you do.

Answer 7

I'm sorry that you are going threw this. I have never understood why any body thinks they have to cheat on their partner/mate/husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend. If they are not happy at home then break up, get a divorce or what ever, don't stay together if you are not happy and cheat one the other!!!!! There is no excuse in the world to cheat on anybody at all. Just remember there are men that cheat as well as the women.

It happened to me, mine cheated on me as well and yes you are crushed!!!!! I did everything for that man, I was there for him, any time he was ready to make love, no matter what time it was, I was there for him. I treated him like a king. I cooked for him, carried his plate to him, worked in the yard, worked out side the home, made a garden, cleaned the house, went got him out of jail at 2 and 3 am,washed his clothes, you name it I did it for him. And yes he still cheated on me. My heart goes out to you.

The flip side of this now, is we are now talking a little bit and he is being to understand a little bit of what love really does mean. After all I did for him, he was never affectionate with me, rarely hugged me and kissed me even less. So really if either of us was to cheat on the other, I would think it would have been me as I was not getting at home what I wanted AND he knew how I felt too. But guess what, even after how he done me, I never did cheat on him not even once. I don't believe in cheating. As a matter of fact, while we have been separated I have yet to go out with any one at all nor will I. That is being very faithful !!!!!

By the way, you said she was depressed, so what, that is not an excuse, cause guess what, so am I have been very depressed for many years and I still have never cheated a day in my life!!!

Answer 8

Very few, if any...women would want the "lapdog" relationship. Most would want someone to tell them [the woman] if they're being boneheaded about something. If, in fact, I did go for the lapdog type, I would NEVER exploit is loyalty, his willing to please, love and respect... NEVER. As proof, I have a friend--she's my best friend as a matter of fact, and she is a "yes" woman. She has no clue how to say "no" and she will die trying to complete all of her projects she's said "yes" to. Knowing this about her, I have to gauge whether she actually means "yes" or is she just saying yes, because she can't say no... Her and I have been friends for many, many years because of this, and I've seen friends of hers go by the way side, because they lacked that ability, or worse, took advantage of her weakness. I could be happy with a "lapdog" relationship, because I would know not to take advantage of the traits that a lapdog exhibits, and in return, I'd keep the lapdog happy and healthy, because I wouldn't exploit the willingness to please, love and affection.

Answer 9

its sad in this day and age cheating has become the norm, sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. women or men for that matter cheat for a number of reasons needs rnt being met on eithr end there r problems in the marriage, she feels neglected by you, i could go on but i think u get the picture. so talk to her to see if u can work this out or leave those r your choices. its tough and hurts but the grass is greener on the other side u have to find that out.lol

Answer 10

He's a player and is telling your wife exactly what she wants to hear. He wants sex and probably money too and hard telling what else. Grass is grass no matter what side of the fence you're on. Sometimes people have to learn that the hard way.