2006-11-18 09:21:31 · 28 answers · asked by BERNADETTE D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My parents were married for 17 years, until my Dad caught my mom with another guy. I dont know what drove them apart, but it must have been big (they hid a lot from me). I don't know why she would have done this, but the one thing that might cheer you up is that my Dad is a lot happier now.
The best advise I can give is if you want her back do everything you can. If you don't, find something to take your mind off the situation for a while. Nothing will probably be fun for a while, but it's better to not feel the pain, at least for a little while. Sorry man, the whole situation sucks. Just remember if today is the worst day of your life, than tomorrow can't be any worse. Just keep going, someday you'll be happy again. I hope this helps and I hope things get better!
2006-11-18 09:36:23 · answer #1 · answered by chromecranium 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if a woman feels unloved and underappreciated she will cheat, just like a man. even a person who thinks they are loving isn't necessarily considered so by their spouse. marriages takes hard work, and sometimes people lose their 'love' for their spouses. they feel it is too much work to make it as exciting and fun as the relationship once was. have the children left the nest? after kids leave, it is fairly common for people to think that they no longer have anything in common with their spouses. and 20 years can cause a big build up of unresolved issues, not that she really has an excuse. it's never acceptable to have a relationship outside of a person's marriage. the reason she chose an addict is in the air--maybe she thought it would be exciting and dangerous, contrasting her, what she thought was, mediocre and mundane life. dating an addict always leaves you with adrenaline pumping, which is your own little drug to get high on made by the body. also, she may have taken up whatever the addict is doing behind the loving husband's back, which led to her distancing herself from him and becoming closer to other drug users.
2006-11-18 09:55:30 · answer #2 · answered by Jessicat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to help answer this question you had better read the question carefully?
He is asking us why would his wife of 20 years cheat on him with an addict? He is saying that he is a loving husband and they have a family together. And he is asking why would she throw all that away for an addict.
To you sir I don't think that any of us can answer why!
Only your wife can answer that. Maybe she got bored in your marriage and instead of coming to you and telling you this and trying to work things out chose the wrong path.
This guy probably made her fell atrractive and sexy. He fed her all the things that she wanted to hear that maybe you haven't said to her in a while.
If you still love your wife and want to be with her then you need to sit down and talk with her and find out what made her turn to this guy.
You say you are loving. I hope that you are right. Maybe you feel you are but maybe she doesn't.
One way or another the answer lies with in your wife. Talk with her.
What she has did was wrong. And you aren't to blame for her actions only she is. But maybe she justifys what she has done because of something that your marriage lacks.
If she won't talk about it and continues to see this guy get rid of her. You deserve better than that. But if you love her and she loves you and you want to work this out then you need to have a long talk and get to the bottom of what made her cheat in the first place.
I wish you the best of luck in what ever choice you make. And again only your wife can truly answer this question!!!
2006-11-18 10:47:21 · answer #3 · answered by rockn75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheat, always a cheat. It goes that way for men and women. She probably feels like she doesn't deserve the love after spending 20 years with an addict. Her self-esteem is in the toilet along with her self-respect.
2006-11-18 09:41:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesn't think as much of u as u do her, she doesn't value you. she would rather run off with someone else than to work on her marriage. it is who she is, and perhaps she was never happy in her role in life. unfortunatly people have free will and their choices hurt innocent people. we always have a hard time seeing our mate in this way, we sometimes are in denial. there is no ryme nor reason for some of the things our spouse's do to us, even if u asked her u wouldn't get a straight answar. best not to ask. she just don't value her family like she should, and maybe she is also into this way of life, they say birds of a feather flock together. there may be things u don't know about her, something attracted her to this man. just leave it alone and get out of it as clean as u can, leave with dignity and i know it hurts, but the sooner u can get past this the better. theres something about him that she likes. so there may be things about her u never saw.
2006-11-18 09:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because she is crazy bsides that she is looking for something she is not getting at home which is not good reason but its done all the time these days. there could be things going on between the couple she feels is bad etc that she reached her breaking point and went outside the compunds of marriage, im not makeing excuses for her she obviously is unhappy maybe has low selfesteem she is looking for somehting her husband isnt giving her and she is seeking comfort that she wants and needs. who knows why people do the things they do but we do it its done all the time in this day and age.
2006-11-18 09:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by smiley283 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would a wife cheat...Impossible to give just one answer. It doesn't matter if she is in a big mansion with every desire of hers taken care of. Nor does it matter how many years she has been married. Doesn't matter with whom the person is that she cheated with. Doesn't matter who her husband is. Doesn't matter how many kids she has. Doesn't matter how many friends she has. Every situation is different...and none of the things mentioned matters. Cheating is something that one does because something is wrong with them...it is an inner problem. She (the cheater) needs to deal with that...not you.
2006-11-18 09:27:32 · answer #7 · answered by ladydrea2918 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either her husband does not satisfy her in bed or she is used to moving with many men maybe even before they got married. Worst still maybe the man cheated on her and now she is revenging
2006-11-18 09:26:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
her brain is wired to find the drama, excitement. some people can't live a "normal" life even if they have the chance and desire. 20 yrs w/ an addict means she had a lot of ups and downs, not knowing what's going to happen. somewhere inside her she's conditioned to that type of life.
2006-11-18 09:24:50 · answer #9 · answered by helen l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things apparently aren't going as well as he thinks they are. And ... people do change over the years, gradually, I would doubt it was a spur of the moment thing, probabaly something worked up to after a long time.
2006-11-18 09:25:21 · answer #10 · answered by Jason M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋