2006-11-18 09:11:10 · 12 answers · asked by m&ms 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I'm sorry - were you using my air space?
What's that sound - kinda like an insect trying to get a person's attention?
What - you think? That's a scary thought....
You have a problem? Gee, I've got ten answers, and 2 multipliers for good measure...
You don't look too good - I mean, if I had that many bruises I'd go see a doctor....What bruises you say? Why those bruises on your face - let me help you over to where you can see them....
2006-11-18 09:19:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This was one of the funniest that I've ever heard...
"I have a Labrador retriever. I was buying a large bag of Purina at Walmart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog? On impulse, I told her no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly the guy who was standing behind her. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought that guy was going to split his sides laughing as he staggered to the door."
Be blessed.
2006-11-18 17:33:26 · answer #2 · answered by Decent 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like to say " Just because you decides to open your mouth doesn't mean you improved the silence." Or there is always "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say something to make you think I was interested in what you were saying?"
2006-11-18 17:24:43 · answer #3 · answered by bown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am usually horrible at comebacks, but one time I spat one out:
This asked me (he is really annoying) "Are you a lesbian?"
and I said, "you know, if all guys were like you, I would be"
He never talked to me again
2006-11-18 17:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Isn't it a shame when cousins marry? (pointing to the offending person)
2006-11-18 18:24:56 · answer #5 · answered by Giselle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom goes to college.....Kip from Napolean Dynamite
2006-11-18 17:15:17 · answer #6 · answered by Me luv u long time 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should really quit huffing
2006-11-18 22:43:59 · answer #7 · answered by For sure 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"A thought crossed your mind?? Must have been a long and lonely journey..."
2006-11-18 17:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then why would he rather live in my driveway, than your house
inside joke : P
2006-11-18 17:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by Lacy L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I wish I could tear your eyes out with the hurtful words you used to tear my heart out, but how could you look at yourself in the morning"?
2006-11-18 17:15:39 · answer #10 · answered by Brittney 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋