Coming out about being bipolar?

Question

I was diagnosed about 6 years ago. I have made tremendous leaps in living with my illness. I have also embraced it. Will it ever be a smart move to come out about my illness? I am sick of having skeletons and feel I can help stomp the stigma and advocate more on mental health awareness. My docs say go with your heart and there is nothing to hide.
That there is nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone ever come out before about being bipolar? How was it? Thank you.

Answer 1

I was diagnosed as being bipolar in late 1998. A decade before I had institutionalized myself for major depression, and the bipolar aspect was never diagnosed. I was not medicated. Over the next ten years, I had big ups and downs. Finally, I had another serious downswing, and was properly diagnosed.

It took a couple of years to find the right medications, although as soon as I started taking SOMETHING it helped mediate things immediately. However, for many years I didn't want anyone to know about my diagnosis. I was ashamed.

Recently I have begun letting people know, overcoming the shame that I told myself was irrational. After all, I was still myself. If people changed their opinion of me, then they weren't a true friend to begin with.

Know what happened? Everyone was more understanding... they started realizing when I was going through little swings, and helped me get through them.

Now, my situation was different than many. My wife was never very understanding of my condition, she looked on it as a burden she had to bear. Every swing that I had was an inconvenience to her, and we argued a lot. Especially about the fact that I needed naps because the medication made me sleepy.

My son was diagnosed as being bipolar when he was 6 years old. The condition is much different in preadolescents. Plus, my son was more manic than anything else. He would have what we called "meltdowns", tantrums for what seemed like no reason.

We found an excellent doctor for him, who found a good medication for him quickly. He is much better. BUT... now my wife had TWO people to deal with. She considered this a major burden, and resented the fact that I could identify with my son and talk him down from his fits where she could not. She yelled at him, however. This made things worse.

I have spent the time since my diagnosis stable... but always at an emotional low. I was always a little blue, but it was manageable. Very few things could pull me out of it... only one very close friend knew how to identify me, could cheer me up.

The conflict has since torn my wife and I apart. For various reasons, we have separated, and I am going to seek a divorce. The love that we had is dead... smothered and gone. However, since I left, my mood has skyrocketed upwards, and everyone has noticed.

I know you didn't ask for my life story, but I just wanted to give some of my background. Basically, coming out about it was a positive thing. My life was messed up... and is still somewhat messed up, although it is getting better... and letting people knowing about my diagnosis helped. I was ashamed of something that I didn't need to be ashamed of. Start with your closest friends... then let other people know. Just tell them if the opportunity comes up... don't take out a full page ad in the local paper. Don't make a big deal out of it, and no one else will either.

Answer 2

I am bipolar and was diagnosed 17 years ago. When the doctor first diagnosed me, my immediate reaction was relief. I had known for a number of years that something was wrong. Initially I was ashamed of it. Now I look at it like its no different than someone who has diabetes. I take my medication & I'm fine. (Doesn't leave me in a fog). I am candid about my illness with friends - and of course my family knows. When dating someone new -its not something I rush into telling - I wait and see how serious I am or am not about the guy. I have never had a guy dump me because I'm bipolar. The advantage of being candid is I have no more shame about the illness. Plus its an opportunity to educate people who know nothing about the illness. I tell people that the illness varies in severity from person to person and that there is more than one type of diagnosis of bipolar - i.e. rapid cyclers who go back & forth thru major mood changes in the course of a day. I think its important that people understand stuff like that because you never know how the media is going to present a bipolar person and you never know if someone has had a bad experience with somone who happens to be bipolar. To illustrate the broad spectrum of the illness I point to Ted Turner and Mike Tyson. Very different people with the same illness. Sounds to me like you are doing great...there is nothing to be ashamed of. Live, love, laugh and be happy!

Answer 3

After having a major tragedy in my life a few years ago, I was told by my therapist I was bi polar. I would be happy, then sad. I tried so hard to be myself, yet, the anger of what happened would over come me. ( look at my name, Sybil.) LOL. Well, I took the meds for 7 yrs, and realized I hated the way I felt. I had no feelings. It felt like I was in a fog. I came down off of 3 heavy duty medications, and feel like a new person. I don't know if I was ever really bi polar, or, only so angry with the losses of my family members. No matter what, I feel so alive again, and if you want someone on your side to shout out about mental health, I would be more then happy to share my whole story. Be well my friend !!!!! ~~~~~

Answer 4

I have recently been diagnosed as bipolar. Before I was diagnosed, I just thought I was insane. Now I'm proud to have a name for what is wrong with me. Bipolar is what I am and will always will be. So to answer your question, yes, you should come out. Do not be ashamed of who you are. There are many people who are bipolar in this world just as there are many people who are white and people who are black. If people judge you then tell them to p*** off and get on with your life.

Answer 5

It's a very hard decision. My response has been to tell close friends that I can trust, or more casual acquaintances where I know that they cannot interfere in my life or career (some people from internet groups that I have met a few times in person).

I haven't told my employer, and I would n't even consider it unless it was an absolute necessity. My wife's family 'sort of' know, but have not pressed, and I have volunteered no information.

I think it's on a 'need to know' basis for most, and then trusted friends.

Answer 6

I don't understand why you feel it is such a big deal to "come out" as you say. Most people couldn't care less if you are BiPolar. And why would you feel compelled to tell anyway? If you are on your meds then you should be functioning relatively normally, thus no need to tell. It is not as if you are a recovering alcoholic and are always being offered drinks, and are wondering if your should tell them you can't. By the way: BiPolar disease is probably the most OVER-diagnosed mental illness in the world. I am a graduate psychology student, I did my final term paper for my B.A. on the over-diagnosis of Bipolar, and got an A on it and it helped me get to grad school. You don't sound BiPolar to me with your question. What meds are you on? Most BP's I've known (I've interviewed hundreds) couldn't care less about their friends knowing.

Answer 7

After a horrible year of losing all but one of my life-long friends, confidants, and wife... all but one to cancer... I was diagnosed as being bi-polar. They medicated me with so many drugs that I could not think properly. I eventually got over the sadness of my losses and started looking around at what I could do for others. It gave me a sense of purpose, and I no longer need drugs to control my feelings of depression. For me, it started by helping a family whose dad was thrown into jail a month before Christmas. After that, I started playing my instruments for nursing homes. It gave me a feeling that I was somehow needed. You must have a good doctor. Go with your heart, for sure!

Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Be With You,

Cal-el & Swissy

Answer 8

It only capacity he's obdurate. till you plan to handle this for something of your existence, i could be looking someplace else (and you will lose interest of being advised you're incorrect)

Answer 9

i have a friend who is bipolar and another friend whos mom is and really the one no one knows there other you can just tell she is and she takes pills like right in front of you odd

Answer 10

People at my work have told me they are, its not like you are gay and need to tell your family and be ashamed.