My cheating husband?

Question

my husband chats with the girls on the internet. he has an addiction with porn. He has many hotmail and yahoo accounts with different names. He has this fake identity online; he doesnt tell girls about his real name and true identity. He defends himself by saying " I'm stressed out. I dont have a future in front of me, i want you to take me to america so i can earn money and have a better future for us, i sit on the internet because i'm very depressed and its just a way of deal with the stress. It is nothing real, its all fake." However, i dont buy his words. I still think its cheating. No matter what he is looking at live webcams where he sees naked women. I have caught him up talking to girls online and watching live webcam shows. I think this is all wrong. There is no excuse to all this. I'm American and he is an Asian. He badly wants to go to usa for a better future bt i'm afraid he might leave me once he gets there. He is stressed out bz i'm not taking him to usa. plz help me plz

Answer 1

Look at it for what it is. He does NOT respect you nor care about your feelings. All he's giving you are excuses. Frankly he sounds like a leech to me. If I were you, I would return to the US without him.

Answer 2

It is my personal belief that it is ok to look at porn, provided it does not interefer with the relationship. Also, I think it is okey to talk to people online, provided all the cards are on the table before the converation begins. Unforunatley I can not amend any of these to the above. I am sorry to say, but your husband has what is known as sexual compulsive disorder. I many cases like his, a person will chose the porngraphy over a relationship built on reality and virtues. There is no excuse for his behavior, and as long as you tolerate it, he will continue to play your kindness, love and sympathy for a weakness. You need to stand strong, stand up for your beliefs and express your morals to this person in a way, that he will understand that the line is close and, he is on the verge of crossing it. Set boundaries, and if they are crossed, then you must follow through with the punishment that only you can enable.
I do not encourage a divorce, seperation or anything like that. I have heard from many that space gives a person time to heal. Thats not all the way true. Space creates hurt and pain as well. All I can advise you to do is to follow your heart and, do not allow your thought to override common sense.

Answer 3

So why would it be important to prove infidelity just to get divorced? If he provides financial security now, then a judge would expect him to provide that after divorce. My feeling is he doesn't have a job and neither do you. He leaves for weeks and doesn't even call home to check on the kids? Great Dad you chose for your children. Call it quits and focus on yourself and your children. File for divorce so you can get an order for child support for the kids and you can start getting your life back on track. Who cares if he's a cheater. He's obviously not a good husband or a good father. Don't waste any more time.

Answer 4

He is using you. You need to get out. A real man and earn a living anywhere. Divorce is a..! He is addicted to sex, he will need help one day. You can not trust somebody like that.
You deseve better. There millions of men out there just waiting for a nice lady. You are very unhappy now, do you really think thats going to change in the states? He will leave you asap he can find a younger wealther lady.
Your stronger than that.

Answer 5

You do have a problem. And I'm sorry that you are going through these hard times.In my 51 years being here on earth, if a man, husband, boyfriend is using the Internet as a tool to comfort himself, the only thing he is trying to comfort is what is between his legs. If you love hime like you say you do, suggest counseling or some other form of help for your marriage. Addiction is addiction and it sounds like he is addicted to porn. Men need pictures, they need visual pleasure in order to satisfy themselves. Unlike women, we are emotional and can use our minds for fan tasty if needed. Tough question... and I think you are going to have to ask your self, is all of this really worth it?

Answer 6

Your husband clearly has some form of sexual addiction. He's going to seek physical gratification any way he can. Look at the web of lies he's been spinning on the Internet, just to satisfy his urges. If he's been lying to all these other women, then he's probably been lying to you, as well.
Put your foot down & demand that he seek treatment for his addiction. He may not listen. Realistically, you should be prepared to leave him, move to the US on your own & move on.
Good luck to you.

Answer 7

You made a mistake by marrying an asian man and moving to asia.
You should have known better..
Divorce him and move back to the USA...

Answer 8

His excuses for what he is doing are nothing but garbage. You need to come back to America without him. Morally, he has already left you, so you won't be missing anything by leaving him there where he belongs!! He is using you to get to America.

Answer 9

You need to Pray. Prayer is very powerful. God can do the impossible.
What helped me lots was reading "Power of a Praying Woman" by stormie omartian.

I pray the best for you & your husband.

Answer 10

nothin wrong w watchin a little porn as a guy theres not many guys who dont but the web cam and chatting is a little excessive...and his reason for this seems like bull