SERIOUS QUESTION HERE-Friends for 30+years-never had a fight til 2months ago- what to do now? I still care???

Question

few years ago she started having problems with depression & bouts of anger, with ex husband her children, the mailman etc. lost her job-has went on disability SSI-which caused more problem-low income for her-I have been loaning her small amounts of money here & there-turns out that she is bipolar-she has been spending$$$ on BS-not paying her bills-again shes asking for $$$ to pay her rent-she hasn't paid me back for jan'06 rent-she asks me for$$$ thru an email-I replied-yes I'll pay your rent but you need to try todo better managing your$$$ etc-She comes back at me with this OMG reply "I am a piece of $%& for telling her what to do & my family is #$%^ -for me to go to hell (2 pages of poison) she then left me a voicemail threatening me!Now she has blocked me-which is ok-now I have more peace in my life without having to look after her-I still worry about her-would like to know how she is-MY ???-Should I call-drop by her house-can't email her-I'm so torn-part of me wants to move on-HELP

She is drawing SSI for the bipolar disorder-she is on medicaton-probably to much-she was wonderful friend til 2yrs ago-in 28yrs we never borrow a $1 from each other-the past 2 yrs it was 5 phone calls a day-at times I have had to go to her house and physically hold her down to calm her fits of rage or bouts of crying-this is serious-no one in her family wants to help-they don't realize the extent of her mental illness-she has a felony from 2yrs ago-trying to runover her ex & his gf-she just know got off probation from this-now she thinks she has a free ticket to be mean and spit this poisin inher onto others-I could go on but wanted to add more details-I am getting some great answers-it will be hard to decide on the best answer.
Thanks to all who is sincere!!!!

Answer 1

let the time decide what is the best. maybe she does not want your help and you only make thing's worst so move on it's the best for you and when she will realize what she did she will come to you. don't waist your time with this problem.

Answer 2

tough situation, she is lucky you haven't just dropped her.

Money wise, you should decide what you can and can't do and for how long.

Realize that she is sick with the Bipolar and that is at least the main reason she is being mean. Maybe she can't help it. I'm Bipolar myself so I'm not just making that up. Forget about the money, you probably won't see any of it. Consider carefully if you want to loan more. Ignore the letters, maybe throw em away and remember the good stuff. If you feel up for it, check on her from time to time, listen and see if she listens to you. If so try to help a bit. Suggestions, get her to groups or therapy if she will go. Try to help her get the meds right. If you can deal with her for only 1 hour a week than do that. Then maybe 2 hours or maybe 30 minutes next time depending on how it goes.

Answer 3

Move on. You have done all you can do. She needs professional help and lots of it. There's no way you can provide what she needs and as it stands you are being an enabler. Because you loan her money (you are the only one who views it as a loan, by the way) she doesn't have to be responsible because she can depend on you to bail her out. So she never has to be responsible or live with the consequences of her actions. So things for her will continue to spiral downward until she either takes control or gets the help she needs. In the mean time, she will take you with her unless you close the door and walk away. It's hard but sometimes tough love is the only way.

Answer 4

Damn,would you be my friend? Why would you ever want a friend like her.You are a friend"she is not". After you have helped her so much and she blocks your e-mail.You said it yourself that you are happier without her.If you need a friend that bad I have rent a car payment,insurance,I'd like to have a little spending money,so I could go out and find a new friend when I'm trough draining all I can get out of you.Think about it.You damn sure don't need me or her.Good luck.You would be a great friend to have but I couldn't do you that way. Stay away do not call do not stop by.Why should you even care? she has proven that she is only using you.

Answer 5

It's a tough decision, but you have to put her needs before yours because thats what friends do. She needs you now more than ever. Don't turn your back on her. She is not completely there. Do you think she would have told you things like that before all her problems? Seeing that you were friends for such a long time I would say no. Please help her. Be a good friend. She will thank you one day when she is back to her senses.

Answer 6

First of all stop giving her money, if need to go with her and pay her bills and rent. that way you know she is not waisting your money. 2nd. try going to a doctor app. with her. Talk to her family members and a clergy. yeah, you should stop by and see her, she needs you even though she says she dont. just tell her you are there for her and you want to help, but help on your terms and if she does not accept, then walk away. Good luck

Answer 7

people purely don`t recognize the way major that is to neuter or spay their animals. to boot that 2 females hardly ever ever get alongside and 2 adult males hardly ever ever get alongside. the finest blend Is a spayed woman and a neutered male. I had 2 females that fought. even as i ultimately were given a male and a lady both fastened,wow. They by no potential fought . They respected one yet another. also it`s as a lot because the owner to coach them the thanks to get alongside. in the journey that they did attempt to strive against it`s as a lot because the owner to make the right correction. there is a good number of educating in touch. they say there aren't any untrained pets, purely untrained vendors. I don`t imagine 7yrs is too previous,so long because the canines is in solid well-being. All surgical procedures are risky. It`s more convenient to neuter a male than to spay a lady/ the female has to have her abdomen reduce open and characteristic a bunch of stuff bumped off. A male purely has ti have his scrotum reduce open and get his balls bumped off.

Answer 8

First read up on bipolar disease. My good friends wife is bipolar and did alot of impulsive stuff like your friend and then regretted it later. She probably needs to be on medication to keep that disorder in check. If I were you i would try to be understanding and inform myself about her condition and try and help.

Answer 9

She is just now having problems. But being with friend so long . Help him or her .There are alot of agencies . Start now before it develops to a bigger or newer problem

Answer 10

Its her lose and it hurts you. Sometimes people say things they don't really mean. I have been in the same situation and I just waited a while and they came around,if not move on.
Life is short!