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When i first met my husband he was still married to his ex wife.. They had been seperated for about 4 months... I loved him, and he filed for divorce, got custody of the child that they had together, she turned to drugs and got placed in a mental institution... So everything worked out great... We sense then had a child which i now 1yrs old... There is nothing wrong with dating a man that is married as long as he is trying 100% to divorce his wife asap... And there no longer in contact or sleeping together of etc..

2006-11-18 07:06:13 · answer #1 · answered by Ash 3 · 0 1

The proverb says "there's many a slip 'twixt cup an lip". It means that you often spill water before drinking from a cup that's been poured. I'm not going to make any moral judgments on a woman who falls in love with or becomes involved romantically with a man who is married at this time. I will offer some logical thought about that situation, though.

Married men, whether attached firmly, separated, or in the process of divorce, are BAD NEWS as far as your heart and head go. Here's why:

(1) He's MARRIED. He has legal obligations. He has emotional obligations. He may have "checked out" of them, but a pang of conscience (just a little) may be all that's necessary for him to go back to where he's put his word and his money. His marriage is real, legal, and alive as long as the documents saying "this marriage is dissolved" have not been signed.

(2) He and his wife could reconcile. If they're both mature, competent adults and you really like that, you should hope for him this happens instead of holding him selfishly to yourself. If they do reconcile, you've destroyed any chance of having this guy as a friend.

(3) There's a lot going on in separation / divorce no outside party is privy to. How do you know they didn't separate so one person could get psychological counseling (especially him?) He's obviously not going to tell you something like "she threw me out of the house because I hit her".

(4) If separated or divorcing: His head is screwed up. Sure, he may seem to have it all together, but he's going through one of the most traumatic experiences known to mankind. He's trying to feel like a manly man again, to feel alive and happy, and he's using you to do that. For now. He's too emotionally upset to form true lasting love, and do you really want to settle for less?

(5) Obviously his word doesn't mean much to him. Do you want someone who will run into the arms of another woman when the going gets tough? Someone who makes promises and then rejects them entirely?

(6) If he talks down his "soon-to-be-ex" remember, you're that woman he's going to be calling names or painting to be a psycho in six months or two years.

(7) Finally, to address moral obligation (and this is why people call the woman names). Obviously, the man is the one with the promise and legal obligation that he's violating. He's the one robbing the bank. The woman who is in an extramarital relationship with him is driving the getaway car while he robs the bank, though. Think about that.

2006-11-18 06:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by Tomteboda 4 · 0 0

Please listen and take this advice from someone that has dealt with a married man. They will tell you that they are going leave, but until you see a divorce decree and that they are actually living in seperate households, do not fall for the deceit. They are going they tell you that they don't love their wives anymore. They are going they are gonna tell you that they are still living there because of unfinished financial obligations. DO NOT fall into their trap! If they are not able to give you 100%, due to their obligation to their marriage and the household that they have, you do not have to be a sitting duck for a man that is NEVER GOING TO LEAVE. Do not be like me. Three and a half years and a 2 year old child later and he is still with his wife.

2006-11-18 06:12:31 · answer #3 · answered by 2Blessed2BStressed 1 · 0 0

Well, what you have heard is probably true. Unfortuneatly you can't always control or choose who you are going to love in this lifetime. However, we were all born with self control which means you have the ability to do what is right and wait until the man is divorced. Try and put yourself in the other womans shoes, she is probably already in alot of pain and you being involved will only hurt her worse. Let them finish out there business then you can do what you feel you need to do but remember, a man freshly divorced is looking for a rebound usually so be careful not to be ex # 2

2006-11-18 18:02:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Wait until the divorce is final. Never date a man who is separated or divorcing. He is still married.

2006-11-18 06:31:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

She needs to leave him totally alone UNTIL his divorce is finial and then and ONLY then is he a free man. What does every one think that 6 months waiting period is all about. It is so IF there is any chance that the couple can get back together they will do it. If there is a female after him or a male after her, that would hinder in them trying to work out their problems if they can.

2006-11-18 06:21:07 · answer #6 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0 0

honestly, you never be attentive to yet he could cheat on you back. If he fairly enjoyed you he does no longer of achieved what he did. He could desire to of only sat with you and spoke to you approximately any subjects that have been bothering him. Like, if he did no longer experience sexually satisified. Now he has long gone to a prostitute, and because your seperation you have not got any theory the place his ingredient has been. particular you adore him and you in all hazard consistently will, yet you may desire to think of deeply forward. whilst he's not around, your going to ask your self the place he's. in case you particularly need to come again inclusive of im then I recommend you communicate alongside with your mom and enable her be attentive to precisely the way you experience, take her suggestion into attention and then flow approximately your determination. yet you particularly gotta think of long and not undemanding. If i become you, i could locate out why he did it interior the 1st place and what makes him think of that he won't do it back.

2016-12-30 14:54:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I'd make sure he really was in the process of divorce and not just talking about it because that can just drag on and on and then never ultimately happen. If he says he has talked to lawyer ask which one and verify the name. Or ask to see the court papers.

2006-11-18 07:37:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I still think she would be a "..." even if the guy is breaking up, all that matters is you are trying to attract a guy who is engaged, that is a crime.

And also, may be as he is having a hard time, he probably needs some company and using you for it, and you'll be dumped after all. And also it is a possibility that you are the reason that some good relationship is breaking up.

2006-11-18 06:07:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0 0

Do a small experiment. Take a china plate and dash it to the ground, so it shatters in at least two pieces. Can you eat from it now?
Pick up the pieces and dash them again. On your second attempt have you made the broken plate more useless than it already was?
Now answer your own question.

2006-11-18 12:48:23 · answer #10 · answered by wisdom tooth 3 · 0 0

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