My guy friend says that if I dont please my BF when he wants I'll lose him ( read on ..) ?

Question

My guy friend is " trying to help me " again with advice . He says the reason Im 27 and not marriend is because I dont know how to treat a man . Im engaged to a wonderful man and he says I will eventually lose him if I dont give it up whenever he wants . I say it's my body , my hole and he should respect that ! I say I'll give it up when I feel like it . I need more input please help ?

Not that it matters bcuz I'll be single forever if I have to feel like a cumdumpster just to be with someone

My guy friend also is using reference to the bible saying that GOD order the woman to please the man

He just said thats whats wrong with American women !!!!!!

I forgot to mention that this all started when I came tomy guy friend for advice becuz my fiancee and I had our first little fight over sex, but my fiancee apologized and told he would never make me do things that I didnt want to do .

Answer 1

you just said it was your hole and then you asked for more input...which is it

Answer 2

That is SO sexist! Your guy friend's a jerk! Who says that WOMEN are supposed to serve MEN? It doesn't say that anywhere in the bible. It's very hard to believe that God would put women on earth so that men can have sex whenever they want. It DOES say, however, that sex before marriage is a sin.

If a guy can't wait for you to be ready for sex, then he's probably only in it for the sex. Sorry. I don't think this is as much of a problem with your BF than it is with your guyfriend. He has issues.

One more thing, it's not odd for a woman to 27 and single these days. It's better to wait for the right man to come than to have the wrong one sooner.

Answer 3

Sounds like your friend is trying to help but seems like he's trying to push you into doing something you don't want to do. If you still want to have him as a friend tell him you really appreciate his thoughts but for this subject you'd rather talk directly with your fiancee. As for your predicament. Scott F. sounds like the master of it. I read through what he had to say and it's some sound advice. It is an issue you need to work out between yourselves. Talk with him and put him at ease. If he doesn't want to talk about it put up little notes around the place that you need to talk with him. Not sure if it'll work but you'll get his attention. Good luck. We're here for you. No strings attached.

Answer 4

nicely he's having an exceedingly tough time i will tell, he needless to say loves you and it takes an exceedingly good guy to forgive somebody for cheating. Please comprehend the place he's coming from and supply him the time he desires. tutor him which you will no longer do something with absolutely everyone else anymore. tutor him you nonetheless care and that he's all which you think of approximately. that's a great step that he's making an attempt to forgive you in his own way. do no longer turn off the telephone in case you prefer him to come again returned around, in simple terms proceed to furnish diffused tricks, do no longer play around with different people or consult with them. in simple terms focus on the best cases. i've got faith he will come again around finally in case you tutor to him which you already know you snarled and you're rather sorry. =)

Answer 5

No offense hun, but your guy friend sounds like a total moron. I didn't know we were supposed to stop, drop, and hump anytime the guy feels like it.

I agree with you. It's your body, your goodie box, your choice to give it up when you want to. I think your guy friend is just bent because he must not be getting any.

Guys aren't always in the mood for sex, so why should we be? Would a guy like it if you tried to have sex with him during the last three minutes of the Super Bowl if it was a tied game? I hardly think so.

Answer 6

I think your guyfriend is an egotistic jerk. Women shouldn't have to give it up whenever the man wants or else we'd all be sluts! Do it when you feel like, and make sure your fiance knows this. It's not right to think that the woman is inferior.

Answer 7

So you're making your fiance wrong for wanting to have sex with you. You're dominating him sexually and avoiding domination. And what you're getting out of this is that you get to be right.

Here's the question: is this what you want out of life, out of your relationships with men, out of your marriage to someone you describe as a wonderful man?

If not... what else is possible?

If we were face to face I could direct this conversation in ways that could help you uncover your own answers for yourself, which is a lot more effective, but given the limitations of the medium I'll shortcut you:

You're playing the sex-power game that most women play, and it's pointless and mean-spirited. Your fiance is playing the sex-power game that most MEN play, and it's pointless and bullying.

You BOTH need to STOP IT RIGHT NOW. Just knock it off. Sex can be about power and withholding it can be a weapon. Or sex can be about sharing intimacy and working out something that works for BOTH of you.

For him -- he needs to be responsible for noticing where he is in his cycle of sexual need, and he needs to be responsible for communicating this to you WITHOUT bullying, withholding other emotional support from you, or anger. He may need to go without sex for a day as an offer of love, affection and intimacy to you. Yes, it'll be tough. Tell him he has to deal with it.

For you -- you need to be responsible for noticing when you're withholding sex just because you feel as though it's your only source of power in the relationship. (It's also normal, BTW, for women to lose their sex drive when a relationship becomes secure; see the Sources field.) If you're genuinely not up to it or not interested, then you need to let him know -- no hints, no "body language," none of that nonsense, just be straightforward with each other and say what you're feeling. And you may sometimes (not every time, but sometimes) feel that it would be compassionate to offer him something even if you hadn't been thinking about it that day. Yes, it's tough. Deal with it.

Sit down together, the two of you, and ask what sex is about for you. Is it a physical need, an emotional bond, an expression of intimacy, or something else? And if one form or expression of what you get out of sex isn't available, what else is possible?

The word is COMPASSION. You BOTH need to have some compassion for each other -- you for the fact that he may have physical needs when you're not up to it, him for the fact that you may have other stresses going on that make sex non-desirable at the moment. It happens. It's part of being a couple. But if you show COMPASSION for each other, life just suddenly gets a whole lot easier, more rewarding, and closer.

Answer 8

You call this guy a friend? Talk to your man about it and tell him what your guy friend said and ask him how he feels. Be open minded. I think it's great that you don't let guys walk all over you and that you respect yourself. If this guy your engaged to really loves you, then he will respect you.

Answer 9

first off you are right its your body, your choice when you want it or not.
second if your man leaves ya cuz he aint getting it every frickin time his buddy down below stirs than he aint worth keepin
third your guy friend is either tryin to get you to dump your man, or stir up crap to break yas up, or he is just a plain jack@ss.
fourth off 27 and not married is not really a big deal hun, you have lots of time to settle down with a decient guy and have a great family and future together just relax and have a good time and if a guy gets pushy, push him on out of your life.

Answer 10

I'd stick to what you want. Your friend giving ouy advice doesn't really sound like he knows what he is talking about. I'm pretty sure that the guy you are engaged to loves you for who you are. If you are really worried talk to your fiance about it. But I agree with you.

Answer 11

If he leaves, let him leave. If he expects that from you, than he won't be a good hubby to begin with.
A man needs to please the women just as much as the women needs to please the man, so don't take that crap from your friend.

If he loves you than he'll wait for when your ready.

Congrats on being engaged..and good luck.