How do you ask for a divorce to someone who is in love with you???

Question

I have been married for almost three years. I know my wife loves me , but she just doesn't listen. i am not asking her to do anything wrong. i am only asking for here to save money, or lets try role playing to spice things up help clean the house little things like that I have been asking for three years now. I can cook, I can clean, I had a job every since I was of age and I know have a job that I have been on for eight years now that makes good money and alows us to travel together, & I get hit on all the time( That she doesn't know about) why should I settle for someone that won't do anything.

Answer 1

I don't ask for divorce from someone who loves me truly. But if she doesn't listen to you then she is totally not in love with you. If she doesn't take your advice and views in her consideration then she is totally not in love with you. May be she is just pretending to be in love with you. So, you don't have to consider if she pretends to get hurt. But don't let your decisions to be manipulated by the other girls, may be they are pretending too. If you can't get biased a girl in your home how can I believe that you can get some of the girls from out side?

Answer 2

You need to ask yourself what the real issue is here, it sounds as if you just don't have the interest to be married anymore, why did you marry her to start with ? Did you not see that she was who she is 3 yrs ago ?

I find that her not saving money is just as much your fault as hers, you should have the paycheck if you have the job, so why can't you take the initiative to put some of that check away each time into a savings account ?

As far cleaning house ? Come on sweetie, jump in there & say " hey, it looks like a pig sty, let's clean this place up & go out & have a nice dinner in town this weekend.

I'd love you too if all I had to do was spend your money, as far as women hitting on you all the time & her not knowing ? Guess what, she's probably out getting hit on too, while she's shopping with your hard earned money...

You two need to have one long talk, don't waste each others life , figure it out mutually if you can, if not get a professional.

Answer 3

Why should you "settle" for someone you took marriage vows with....good question. As you make the list of things that disappoint you in your wife, I'm wondering if you ever stopped to consider things from her perspective. How are you delivering these requests that you say she "doesn't listen" to. Is it being delivered as a request or a criticism? Are your expectations reasonable in relation to her life, what she wants/needs/is required to do already? I wonder how much effort you've made in learning more about your wife's frame of reference. Big deal, you get "hit on." That's a quick thrill, but if you truly want to be in a relationship, it takes more than a clean house, a meal, or a hot night in the sack. You need to reach each other on a deeper level. It sounds to me like there is a huge component that you are missing here, and it may turn out to be as simple as you put it out there -- maybe she's just lazy. But I wouldn't be so fast to assume that. Obviously, there was something special about your wife just 3 years ago, that caused you to take the plunge. If it was that shallow that she can cook, clean, and please me - well, then you could pick up a hooker for that. If it was more than that, you owe it to yourself, to her, and the cosmos (lest other people be exposed to you) - to explore this more deeply and figure out if you can get on the same page. A real man will approach this from a place that isn't one that will "make the woman listen" & obey -- but rather, what's going on with her, with me - our relationship -- what am I not hearing her say, what don't I know? How can I make things better, rather than finger pointing. Maybe she's given up because she doesn't want someone harping at her. You'll just never know until you explore that. I think you should go work on yourself first, and define your needs, wants, desires with an objective therapist. If they think you're being reasonable, insightful, sincere - then do the couples counseling thing. To start it now may be the start of an even deeper discord.

Answer 4

To be honest, you have to decide if you are in love with her or not. Would you still want a divorce is she helped out? If you aren't in love, then there is no reason to waste the rest of your life because you dont want to hurt someones feelings. If you love her but want her to help, just tell her. Explain that you are fed up with her not helping and if she doesnt contribute then the two of you need to rethink the relationship. If you decide you want a divorce no matter what, just sit down with her and explain. There is no easy way to do it, but calmly and considerately are your best bet. Show her there is a life after you (point out she's attractive, etc etc) but there just isnt anything there for the two of you and you would be hurting both of you by staying in a relationship that you dont want to be in. Be prepared for tears and anger, and be careful as you dont want her to end up suddenly pregnant to try and keep you in the marriage.

Answer 5

****************Please read the whole thing********************

Well you don't ask for a divorce, you let them know that you are seeking one,,,,after the paper work is filed,,,remember it is a "law suite to end a current contract", although marriage is built on love, divorce isn't, show her respect and dignity, but keep in mind you are suing to get what you want, and it's all about you, not the two of you,
What were you thinking when you married her,,,that thing's would change. Well you did, you are the one that is looking outside the marriage, you have let your lust take control. You the big man Money, good looks, travel. Sounds as if your are holding her down, instead of lifting her up...I'm sure you don't like what you have read but think about it.

Answer 6

Tell her that you are willing to give your marriage another try if she will compromise and try to do some of the things you are asking. If she refuses to even TRY, then tell her that you are unhappy and want a divorce. While you shouldn't try to control her, you do deserve someone who will make an effort to make you happy if you have been making an effort for her. Don't expect her to do every little thing you ask, there has to be compromise, and be sure that you are doing things for her, as well.

Answer 7

You should have thought about that before you married her. I hope you don't have any children, or your mistake is going to screw up their lives. If you have no kids, run for the hills. Be nice about it, but be firm. If you DO have kids, you better get to a marital counselor and do right by them. Too many kids have screwed up lives because their moronic parents split without giving them any consideration at all. Hope you're not like that.

Answer 8

do you love her or you just want a maid...do those things you want done yourself and see what happens...and that is the problem with men they always want to get another woman before they move on. just ask and do it with out a woman in the wings if thats what you want and if you get hit on so much it wont be a problem finding another woman after all the problems of divorce are over....get it...men never do...sorry for you

Answer 9

Well if you are a whore dog then you need to either get counselling or just throw in the towell and get a divorce. And do it before you have any kids!

Answer 10

Sounds to me like you really want it to work out as well. Try talking to her and explain what you will do if things dont change and go from there.