How long should one b clean and sober before you would trust your children alone with them?
I am a father with drug and drinking problems how long would you require me to be sober before you would leave our children with me? I am violent and neglectfull but ONLY when DRUNK!! If I promised to be sober around a newborn for the 2 hours I have him would you trust me or would you want that time supervised?
2006-11-18 04:03:55 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
No, I wouldn't trust you with my baby. You would have to have supervision for a long time. This is a life we are talking about. Not a baby doll. If you are frustrated because your baby's mother doesn't trust you, be thankful to her that she cares enough about the well being of your child to not trust you. Now you know she will not just leave the baby with anyone. After you have been sober for at least one year, you will appreciate her concern. I don't know how many times people have relapsed in the first year while trying to get clean, but I know the number is pretty high.
2006-11-18 05:01:46 · answer #1 · answered by Patty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry, but I don't know if I would even trust supervised. The stresses of caring for a newborn, even for TWO HOURS, is very high. When my son was born, there were a few times I thought I might lose it (not on him though). And as a stated drug and alchol abuser, you could easily be tempted to drink if the baby starts to cry, and nothing soothes he or she (which is very common). I realize this is your child, and you want to see them, but, if you were the father of my child, I would request that you be screened for drugs/alcohol every week by the courts. Supervised visitation could start after 6 months of being clean, AND I got to choose who was the supervisor. I think it's important for fathers to get to know their children, but, you are not doing your child and justice by being a drunk or by being high. What kind of role model will you be? If you really love your child, you would clean yourself up....forever, and be the best parent in the world. I grew up without a dad, and I know I missed out on so much. I never had what all my friends had. Do you want that for your child?
2006-11-18 14:58:27 · answer #2 · answered by candirenee74 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would not feel comfortable leaving the baby alone with you at all. Sorry, but the stresses of having a baby around could be something that would push you to look for your escape (drugs, drink) I think I would insist on supervised visits until you had completed some sort of addict program. Then we would go from there. Once an addict, always an addict. It just depends on how you handle life once you get past the dependancy of your addictions. Nothing happens overnight, take baby steps and work towards a meaningful relationship- it will be so worth it!
2006-11-18 12:09:45 · answer #3 · answered by Smilingcheek 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A very difficult problem I can imagine. However, I would feel its only fair on your child and family (let alone yourself) that you get professional help to solve the problem first. The fact that you are aware of the problem is fantastic, and goes a long way to helping solve it.
Violence and neglect are not good signs for anyone, let alone around a newborn baby. Get yourself some help, work like anything to get clean and then enjoy being a responsible father - better than any drink or drugs by a long way.
2006-11-18 12:09:17 · answer #4 · answered by Uboat304 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you can't stop drinking when not with your child how could I trust you could when WITH your child? What might trigger you to start drinking: his crying? his being awake? a messy diaper? My ticking you off? Frankly, until you quit drinking wouldnt it be better to have supervised visitation. Newborns make a saint want to drink! Please just work on being sober so you can ALWAYS BE COUNTED ON. Your child may actually need you to be available some day outside of your "visitation" hours. This is just the beginning of the rest of his life!
2006-11-18 12:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by ronnie 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Sorry if it was me I would only allow supervised visits with someone responsible overseeing the whole thing. I wouldn't leave a baby alone with a drug abuser for even 2 seconds.
2006-11-18 12:14:48 · answer #6 · answered by redhairedgirl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd say if you have a problem with alcohol...past history of violence..that I would never leave a child alone with you. Your trying to minimize the problem by saying "only two hours"...Get help..go to meetings and rebuild your life..by rebuilding your life I mean build the trust with those you have pushed away by drinking. I wish you luck
2006-11-18 12:15:40 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hell no
i wont let anyone near or alone with my son who has not been clean and sober for like 2 years or more.
and if you told me all this when i was hireing a baby sitter i would tell you to live. you should not even want to be in care of a child if you are that addicted that you are violent
2006-11-18 12:38:03 · answer #8 · answered by ~*big mama *~ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some things are just to valuable to risk......
You even sound risky....don't push someone who is trying to protect children to do what you want. It smacks of control. We all know that addiction is a control issue. Sounds like you have a lot more work to do in AA/NA. When others know the time is right to trust you, then you will know that you have made progress. Until then, you haven't learned enough lessons....
2006-11-18 12:16:28 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldnt even remotly trust you with a child unless youd been sober for more than 5 years.
2006-11-18 12:22:51 · answer #10 · answered by lil_danca06 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋