Me and my boyfriend are plannning on getting married. We have everything in order but one thing he's Catholic and I consider myself....umm...Spiritual (I believe in God but not in a specific religion). We often had discussions on how we would raise our kids and we NEVER come up with a solution. What can we do? We our in love and we love eachother but how do we fix something this imporant?
2006-11-18 03:43:02 · 15 answers · asked by RachelVH 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't...marriage within different spiritualities can be a challenge but it also can provide a good basis for teaching your children about different beliefs. Teach your children, while they are young, about different forms of religion..and when they are older let them decide what they think.
2006-11-18 03:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by KED 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Visit a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship. UU's do not have a religious doctrine or creed. UU's believe in the dignity and worth of all humans. UU's welcome all people, regardless of faith or background. UU's welcome diversity. UU's realize that all religions have common beliefs, and value each belief. There are no "rules" or "right/wrong". All are welcomt to contribute and ask questions. UU's believe in fellowship of all mankind, and less in division based on belief. UU's never seek to "convert" anyone, and accept all people as they are. UU's are a community of friends; ranging from Christian, Agnostic, Aethiest, Jewish, Buddhist, and many others.
I commend your effort to understand and appreciate each other's differences before marriage. This demonstrates your maturity and thoughtfulness. I am sure that you will be able to come to an understanding if you both make an effort. I think you might find that at a UU Fellowship.
www.drphil.com has a pre-marital checklist with many other issues to consider before marriage. These would be things like kids, where to live, who wroks, who pays bills, investments, dealbreakers, definition of infidelity, division of household responsibility, family visits, etc.
Congratulations and take care!
Do a search for 'Untarian Universalist Fellowship" and check it out, and look for a location nearest you.
2006-11-18 11:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never understood how one, if they are sincere in their faith and truly believe it, could marry someone of a different faith. All faiths are different no matter how much we like to believe otherwise. I mean if one religion believes in good works to get to heaven and another believes that it is purely by faith, how COULD you marry someone of a different faith. That would mean that you believe that they won't be with you in the hereafter. You couldn't believe otherwise if you TRULY believe your religion! Of course that is the kicker. If religion is just something to do and you don't really believe there are any differences, I guess it's fine. But then why do we give religions different names if there are no diferences? This dilemma is HUGE if you truly believe that we have souls everlasting that will reside somewhere after our physical death.
How would you even begin to explain this to a child? "Mommy and Daddy don't believe in the same God or religion, but it's okay. It's not important as long as you believe in something." How ridiculous?
Once again, you must ask yourself what you TRULY believe. You must be true to yourself and your loved one.
2006-11-19 00:40:18 · answer #3 · answered by Jay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was brought up catholic. I was very sad in later years, that my parents never talked to me about different beliefs.
As I had my child, I made it a rule in my house to teach my child about religion and and its impact on lives and the world. I even told her she did not have to pick one if she felt close enough to god without commiting to any group.
You two love each other and both believe in god? Well then believe that god wanted you two to meet fall in love. And he is all religion so be open minded about it.
good luck
2006-11-18 14:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by eidunotno 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There have been wars because of religious differences. You MUST resolve this. Catholics are big on tradition.
There's only 3 options...
1) You allow him and his family dictate his religion, you stay on the sidelines
2) (Highly unlikely) He relaxes and accepts your beliefs
3) Realize the seriousness of this BEFORE children are a factor and move on.
2006-11-18 11:50:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you dont have a specific religion, why dont you at least study his religion and see if it fits. I am the same way, spiritual but undecided on what religion if any fits for me. But if the man I LOVED was a specific religion and it was an issue for him, i would at least check it out. Good luck and congrats!
2006-11-18 11:47:27 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to start using the functional brain cells that he should have. Forcing you to accept a narrowly defined course is not good for any relationship. You should agree to allow him to give the kids the information on Catholicism but allow you to give them your view on things. Catholics are pretty narrow minded and he may not go for it.
2006-11-18 12:17:01 · answer #7 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you haven't chosen a specific religion, I don't think it would be so hard. I am a protestant who married a catholic, and I am way more spiritual than he is. We have struggled at times over this.
2006-11-18 11:48:53 · answer #8 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It mostly depends on the strength of your religious convictions. If he is a strong, devout Catholic and you are a devout non-Catholic (for lack of a better term), then you're headed for problems.
Talk with a counselor BEFORE you get married.
2006-11-18 11:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This needs to be agreed upon BEFORE you get married and have children, or there may be big problems ahead. If you have no particular religion then go with his.
2006-11-18 11:47:47 · answer #10 · answered by Connie H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋