I see my 2 month old son about 2 hours a week because this is the only time I can make, not only has my wife made it supervised because of my drug problem but know she refuses to let my son meet my family because they to have drug problems. My family and I agreed to have supervised visits but she replied that I should be more concerned to get to know my son so that he is confortable with me and not just dropped in a room of strangers. I think this is crazy because he is 2 months old and has no idea who anyone is besides I am his father. She says that if I spent more time with him then she would let him meet everyone but until he knows me she wont worry about his relationship with my family is this fair?
2006-11-18 03:39:06 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i agree with you
2006-11-18 03:40:26 · answer #1 · answered by kjl_14 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
WOW, how selfish you are, I mean you just admitted that you and your family have a DRUG PROBLEM, and you want to ask if it is fair? Your wife did not make it supervised visits YOU did with your drug problem, and what else you failed to mention is that a judge found you unfit as well, it has to be a COURT ORDER in order for her to be able to ask for supervised visits, you did not agree to anything, it is a COURT ORDER so stop trying to make yourself look like you are the willing daddy to do this. And I commend her for having enough sense to know that you are not able to care for a newborn child. How can you even ask a question like this and expect to get sympathy from everyone. Why not stop acting like you are the victim here and go get help with the drug problem and learn how to be a real person in life, I mean stop and think about it for a minute, if it were reversed would you want your wife keeping your child knowing she is high and may harm the baby. Grow up and realize YOU are the problem and noone else.
2006-11-18 12:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the issue should be what is fair, I think you should be more concerned about the best interest of the child. I think that is what your wife is concerned about. I mean, I know this is your son but think about it. No judge or jury would even grant you (or your family) visitation rights until you enrolled in some type of rehab program. Why is it that you can only see your son for two hours a week? I'm quite sure you spend more time than that supporting your drug habit. I think that you should spend more time doing what is right for your son (like cleaning yourself up and becoming a responsible parent) then worry about your family getting cleaned up so they can meet your son.
2006-11-18 11:52:10 · answer #3 · answered by shellese2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, there are alot of issues going on and before I even begin to get into them, I want to commend you for taking the right path in getting to know your son even with the drug problem. Not too many men/women with issues like this, make it such a priority.
Now for the issues, the baby is only two months old hon. Mothers of little ones like this are VERY protective over who that child comes in contact with. I've got five children myself, and I agree with your ex. Hell would have to freeze over before I allowed any of my children to be placed in the hands of a drug addict. Supervised or not...the baby is too little and the issues are still going on. She is giving you the time to bond, which she should, but could fight (and win, based on the drug addiction) if she wanted to be spiteful. Until the baby is a little older, video tape your visits, take lots of pictures and explain to your family, that under the circumstances, this is how it has to be until the drug issues are a thing of the past. Once the baby is a little older, ask again to allow your family to visit. Maybe not everyone all at once, but say your parents...another trip, bring a sibling. Maybe if you do it a few at a time, the mom won't be so hesitant to decline, and your family will understand.
I wish you all the luck in the world with this hon and the strength of God to get you to kick the drug habit for the sake of your son. You sound as though you could be a really great dad with alot to offer a little one....your heart is in the right place, you just need to get your mind there too!
2006-11-18 11:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're lucky you get to see him at all. I wouldn't let my children be around someone with a drug problem. Now you want him to be with your family members, who also have drug problems. That is insane. Clean up your life, spend as much time as possible with your son (who only has two hours in a whole week?), and maybe your wife will see that you are really making an effort. Right now, her main concern is protecting your son. Something you don't seem to see is necessary.
2006-11-18 11:44:32 · answer #5 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately for you, it's more than "fair".
There's NO good reason to expose a child to a group of people who all have drug problems. No, this doesn't "sound nice" but it's still true.
The court apparently believes that it's not in the child's best interest (hence supervised visitation).
Have you considered cleaning up so that you'll be a positive role model in the future?
2006-11-18 11:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is fair. your soon to be x-wife has every right o be concierd. it's her maternal insticnt to protect her baby from possible dangers. if you love your son wouldn't yo want to stop doing drugs?also babies at 2 months old recognize their surroundings and people so yes he does have an idea. appearntly the judge see's reason for you to have supervised visits.get your life in order. maybe a drug rehab. your child should come first instead of your drugs
2006-11-18 11:51:23 · answer #7 · answered by trblmmmy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off for your sons sake...get off the drugs! Normally I would agree that your wife is not being fair BUT I wouldn't want my child to be surrounded by drug addicts either. If you truly love your son and want to be a good dad...seek help!
2006-11-18 12:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by Alissa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it but if I was faced with the same problem I would probably do the same. If you and your family love this child and really want to be in his life then you would quit with the drugs and your baby would be # 1. I would do the same
2006-11-18 11:43:30 · answer #9 · answered by tdashnay 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It appears she dislike the baby in the middle of drug related problems.I am a dad and feel like she is justified.View the issue in the best interest of your baby.That may help to find out,probably slowly,a better solution to resolve your problem in a way acceptable to her.For your baby,please.
2006-11-18 12:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by KRMD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FAIR you ask? OF course it's fair!!!
You and your drug addicted family don't need to be anywhere that child until you ALL grow up, get your sh*t together and be adults!!
NONE of you have any right even touching that baby with the drugs in your systems.
IF you find ONE, even ONE supporter on here to your cause, I'll be totally unsure of our healthy human race!!
Clean up your act. Then, concentrate on being a father, a good ONE!!
2006-11-18 11:44:17 · answer #11 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋