I just found out that my friend is pregnant and then she started crying because she said the doctor told her that she wont be able to carry it full term. I have been trying to concieve myself so she had been reluctant to tell me...I was so happy and then sad that they said they couldn't do anything for her. I want to give her hope that it may work out, but on the other hand I don't want to undermine her hard work at putting it out of her mind. I just don't want to hurt her feelings and I have never been through what she is going through so I don't know what to say. If anyone knows of some websites that can give me more info or some online support group or something...she hasn't told her family and her D&C is scheduled next wednesday before Thanksgiving.
2006-11-18 03:14:06 · 12 answers · asked by pirategirls16 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
she has an incompetent cervix.
2006-11-18 03:14:34 · update #1
An incompetent cervix is treatable and manageable! My sister-in-law has a severe case of incompetent cervix, and while she lost one child in a miscarriage, that was after she had THREE healthy children, and she gave birth to another healthy child after the miscarriage. She did not have her cervix stitched and as far as I know she took no special medication, but she was on bedrest with some of the children. If your friend would like to talk to my sister-in-law on the phone, I could probably arrange it. Just email me and let me know.
If your friend lets someone kill her baby because there is a chance that she may miscarry, she will never forgive herself! If she does end up miscarrying, at least she will know that she gave her baby the best chance possible and did what she could to protect and care for her child. That is what mommies do! If she aborts her baby, she will always wonder if her child would have been okay and she will carry that guilt for the rest of her life.
She needs to find an ob/gyn who will care for both her AND the baby. She can look here:
http://www.aaplog.org/physearch.htm
and/or ask her doctor for a referral for an ob/gyn specializing in higher-risk pregnancies.
Here are some support groups for women who have been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix:
http://www.geocities.com/incompetentcervix/index.html
http://groups.msn.com/IncompetentCervixSupport
A D&C will not just end your friend's pregnancy, it will end her baby's life and is likely also likely to worsen her cervical condition. For information on abortion, she should visit http://Abort73.com
2006-11-18 09:51:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why the doctor would perform a D&C on a woman who has an incompetent cervix! If the baby is healthy, there is no good reason to terminate.
Usually, they put a stitch in the cervix to close it. It is called a cerclage, and it is done to save a baby and keep the woman pregnant until the baby is big enough to deliver. It's done all the time.
Again, it doesn't make sense to end a pregnancy for this reason.
2006-11-18 03:27:35 · answer #2 · answered by Gretch6 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This must be a very severe case because usually this goes to complete bed rest to stabilize the pregnancy and then an early delivery. I feel sorry for your friend and so close to the holidays. Encourage her to speak to her family she will need the support more than ever now and if she can she should volunteer at the neonatal ward to hold babies while they feed, I know you are thinking how mean - but it really is psychologically healing. My child was too small and the nurse had me go care for other babies - I didn't understand then but it had a calming effect and helped me share the love I was saving for my baby-and helped me feel less of a failure. I hope your friend heals and is able to have a baby again soon. I will hold you both in prayer.
2006-11-18 03:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought that your friend didn't want to tell you because of the fact of how you would react and maybe she is ashamed of what her stituation is. I think that you should stick by her no matter what and be there for her and if thats what she says that her doctors are saying that you should support her. I'm not saying abortion is the best way but if there is no way else you shouldn't push her anymore because I think that she is going through enough as it is now. Just be there for her as friend and not a someone trying to change her mind
2006-11-18 09:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by k050269 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get a second opinion and fast. An incompetent cervix can be fixed and she can carry the baby. I have known a person with that problem and she was fine. I have read alot about it too. Just google Incompetent cervix and Im sure it will tell you lots of things about how its treated. Please tell her to get the second opinion though. Dont hesitate.
2006-11-18 03:26:15 · answer #5 · answered by Blondi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless its a severely incompleted cervix there are things that doctors do to treat that, so the baby CAN be carried to term. She should seriously consider seeing a new doctor.
They can stictch the cervix, keep medication in her, suggest bedrest, theres tons of things they can do.
Ive known a couple women with the same problem, who miscarried until it was found out. THey all carried babies to term, they just needed stitches.
She seriously needs to see a different doctor.
2006-11-18 03:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-22 07:33:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't terminate willingly!! If she does nothing, let the pregnancy take it's course and terminate on it's own if that is what is meant to be!!
With that said...DRAG her if you have to, to see another DR. Her problem is not uncommon and there is treatment!!
Is it possible that she doesn't really want to have a child & is looking for an explanation to give to people as to why she has to terminate???
2006-11-18 03:48:32 · answer #8 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get a second opinion. There are some surgical procedures they can do for incompetent cervix.
http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/incompetentcervix/a/aaincomp.htm
2006-11-18 03:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
some people got to the doctor an dask there doc this question.but if YOU can carry a baby full term you can carry it for her. You and your friend go to her obgyn, and he/she, if you can, will replace the fetus into you but it will still be your friends baby.
2006-11-18 03:31:28 · answer #10 · answered by SARAH C 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋