We have two children, he wants out to be on his own. I wanted out two years ago, he is always working almost 24/7, I didn't want anything to do with him, but I stuck it out and stayed. He's been seeing another girl age 22, he is 40..says nothing physical (other than sitting and hugging her, kissing her on the forehead) is going on with her, it was for companionship since i wasn't giving him any attention. The thing is he didn't act on this until i brought it to his attention that this girl had feelings for him. He could have left before but chose not to also. I've told him it wasn't right for him to be with this girl and to stay with me and the kids, if he continued to see her he would have to leave. A week later they both call it off. I find out three weeks later he still picks her up for work takes her home from work, I confronted him about it, he said he has been seeing her but it isn't as much as before. Same day he said no more contact will he have with her. Trust him or not over.
2006-11-18 02:58:28 · 19 answers · asked by Psyche 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have two children, he says he wants to be on his own. I wanted out two years ago, he is always working almost 24/7, I didn't want anything to do with him, but I stuck it out and stayed. He's been seeing another girl age 22, he is 40..says nothing physical is going on with her, it was for companionship. He didn't act on this until i brought it to his attention that this girl had feelings for him. He could have left before but chose not to also. I've told him it wasn't right for him to be with this girl and to stay with me and the kids, if he continued to see her he would have to leave. A week later they both call it off. I find out three weeks later he still picks her up for work takes her home from work, I confronted him about it, he said he has been seeing her but it isn't as much as before. I told him if he continued with her it was over with us. Later that day he said there will be no more contact with her it was over with her. Yes I do want to work things out Can we work it out
2006-11-18 03:20:54 · update #1
over
2006-11-18 03:00:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that if you both try any marriage can be saved if you truly were in love at one time. You would both really need to work at it to make it happen. My wife and I were very close to divorce after 11 years and 3 kids. We both have changed our attitudes towards each other and things truly have never been better. We both feel like we are 18 again when we first met (we are both 32). We now have sex upward of 4 times a night (we were doing it about 3 times a year before this. We had this dramatic change in our live all because of an attitude change and other small things (I now do allot more around the house and am longer married to my job and she curbs her anger that builds up all day from 3 kids and running a house). I hope this really helps the two of you.
2006-11-18 11:27:37 · answer #2 · answered by The Tramp Collector 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Re-read your question. Anything about love, trust, respect, admiration, or desire to work it out?
No?
If those things aren't in your relationship, then it's already "over", no need to go into details.
What's really sad is the fact that there are two children who didn't ask for any of this. You and your husband brought them into a nightmare. They want and need two loving, dedicated, mature people so that they can grow up in a secure and safe environment. And, what did they get?
I don't think you need any additional advice. You need an attorney.
2006-11-18 11:10:03 · answer #3 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it's over. I would be in the same situation though. Being with someone for 15 years is a long time to let someone go. I have been with my husband for 10 and I cannot think of me being without him. I know with the kids it's harder but for the sake of your kids, they shouldn't see fights, arguments and all that. Being happy is what's best. You should just let him go. He has obviously found someone else who he gives more attention to. Don't listen to those who give you bad advice. Even though you stuck with him for the two years that you wanted out, you should go ahead and end it. It seems what's best. Think about it though. It will probably just get worse if you stick around.
2006-11-18 11:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by vastilwell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is messing around with this girl but he's AFRAID to lose you and the kids. The hard fact is that, he is a GROWN man and he made this decision WITH the knowledge that this "mess" will have consequences, and in spite of that, he lied to you and is probably lying to you still. He knows as well you do that this was over but is too afraid to let go. I suggest that (you have given him fair warning) its time to have that divorce. An intact family is important BUT you have to keep that self respect and protect your children from the hurtful effects of a cheating father and its an example to show your kids that cheating or hurting someone you love is not okay.
2006-11-18 11:12:32 · answer #5 · answered by stormsandblues 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look backwards 15 years. What happened between the two of you somewhere in between. From your explanation you seem to have pushed this man up the wall and thats why he is seeking solace fromthis young girl regardless of your knowing it. It is you to save this marriage if you want to. Calm down, dont confront him. Since he comes home pick up a conversation with him at an opportune moment and discuss this. You will learn a lot. If there was a way, I would write to you details of a similar problem I helped solve and it worked very well. For now dont fret, handle it nicely. Men are easy to handle, very easy - go for the soft spot
2006-11-18 11:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's always hope, especially since he's in the middle of a midlife crisis and having problems with her. His heart may find his way back to you and yes there will be quite a bit of work to do on the marriage.
I found this site helpful when I went through a similar situation with my spouse. We are back together and working things out.. much to the chagrin of the b****ch who gave him all the encouragement to leave me..
2006-11-18 12:42:20 · answer #7 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's without a doubt over and has been for quite some time! All the passion, energy, excitement and most importantly love is out of this relationship if you ask me!
2006-11-18 11:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by Eraser 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad. :( I'm sorry you are in that situation. You deserve to be happy. You need to look inside yourself and ask yourself if you are truly happy with him and if it is worth it to you to try and stick it out any longer. You shouldn't have to live your life being miserable. He probably continues to cheat because he knows you allow it. Maybe give him an ultimatum and stand firm on it.
2006-11-18 11:03:00 · answer #9 · answered by jamie_0778 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you both want it over... The best thing is not to prolong the inevitable... End it now and get on with your life with someone that cares for you...
2006-11-18 11:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by Kirk D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋