We agreed to separate in March because of our kids. He's had a girl friend since August. He told me about her in September but says it was because he was lonely and she gives him sex. He has been sending emails and texts asking for me during our separation that I ignored as I was hurting so much. Now, after getting through the worst of the pain, I'm missing him again. Getting his text broke my heart all over again. Do I stay friends in the hope we can work it out or do I walk away for good?
2006-11-18 02:55:58 · 23 answers · asked by Pixxxie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I didn't want us to separate. My little boy is in England and his daughter lives with him in Malta!! Am I supposed to take my son away from everything I love just to follow my heart or leave him with his daddy? And should he leave his child to come back to England?? THAT'S WHY WE PARTED!! We love each other but we love our kids too!
2006-11-18 03:03:35 · update #1
Forget Him! tell him you are no longer interested if he really wants you, and still loves you he will go through hoops to get you give him 6 hoops if he doesn't break his back by then
My dear, there are plenty of men out their who are prepared to give you good loving
my advice is make a list of the type of man you would like to meet and the qualities you desire.
if you meet someone make friends with him but only fall in love if he can get at least 70% of your list
guard your heart jealously remember you cannot love another if you do not love yourself , so always make time for yourself love yourself and you will meet the right one
I understand exactly what you are going through and if I go by my own experience then follow the above rules you will surely be a winner
2006-11-18 03:06:33 · answer #1 · answered by john n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay Friends..... Here's a man separated from his wife & children, then 4 months later has a girlfriend 'cause he's lonely. Is he not lonely for at least his children? Any truly caring individual, male or female, would be doing what ever it took to resolve what ever issues caused the separation. Don't buy into the excuse it's because you weren't opening his e-mails. You've got a phone; he knows where you live & there's nothing in your question about a restraining order. You've been through enough heartache. Don't bring more hurt back into your life. If he truly loved you there would be no girlfriend period & he would have made a much better attempt at a reconciliation. Where are the kids in all this? What effect is all of this having on the children? Last but not least, can you take him back knowing he's been intimate with another women? Walk away while you can. You & your kids deserve a better life don't ya think. You'll get over the lonliness a lot quicker than you will another broken heart.
2006-11-18 11:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by Diablo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the question is, since the girlfriend is still in the picture, do you want to have a relationship with him anyway. You can't expect that he will drop her for you just because you want it.
If you not heading for some kind or relationship with him, even non-sexual (no matter how intimate it becomes otherwise) then I think that your just heading down a dead-end path.
On the other hand, which is just as difficult, the only way that you can develop an intimate (sexual or not) relationship with him is with complete honesty amongst the three of you. Not many people can do that, but I do.
there are different kinds of friends too. And you have to be the judge. It is certaintly possible to bring your relationship to the level of "acquaintance friends" with some effort and having the girlfriend around when you see him. but anything more goes down a path where honesty is very, very important.
Tell him first, but both of them how you feel. If her relationship is purely sex (though I expect it isn't) you'll be able to work things out. If her relationship is more, then you need to talk about how this will work out or not.
Given your description of the question, it unlikely that the two you you will, or will want to, remain just acquaintance friends for very long, if at all.
but my recommendation/vote is to work it out....
2006-11-18 11:45:29 · answer #3 · answered by jryanwinterhaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You agreed to split up because of the kids right? What's changed? Presumably you both felt that being together was damaging the children in some way so why put them at risk?
If he really was the love of your life then surely you would never have got to this point and you both would have made an effort to save the relationship before rather than walk away. On/off relationships never work out so spare him, yourself and the kids a whole world of misery and keep away from him until you actually feel like being friends (and nothing else) is possible.
It'll get better...
2006-11-18 11:13:10 · answer #4 · answered by Chris B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NEVER stay friends with an ex. You'll never get over him if you stay in contact and every so often he'll break your heart all over again. If you had good reasons for splitting up then walk away and start afresh. He's got a new girlfriend so he's not sitting around pining for you. Follow his example.
Sorry if this sounds harsh, but so many people cause themselves so much unnecessary pain because they won't let go and move on.
2006-11-18 11:02:56 · answer #5 · answered by Fifi L'amour 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone, and continue to move on with your life, Do not waste another minute on him. He has a girlfriend, and the fact that he says he uses her for sex, this certainly should not make you feel good. He is a looser, he uses women, And he will use you for his own personal gain whatever that may be. Get yourself together and remember he is an x for a reason. Keep it that way, unless you want some more of the reason you broke up. Good luck and God bless****
2006-11-18 11:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you can never go back, only forward. If things weren't right before, they won't be right in the future. The same problems will still be there, along with the hurt and resentment. You only get one chance in life to be happy, don't go back to a situation that you will just eventually end up miserable again in. I can't tell you what to do however, we all have to learn from our own mistakes. What did you learn? Do you honestly think things would be better a second time?
Think hard and long, you and your children deserve to be happy!!
2006-11-18 11:07:15 · answer #7 · answered by oracle1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be. If he was truly interested in YOU as a person, let him prove it by WORKS. He needs to first leave the other person (breaking her heart?) then contritely approaching you, not via some text message, but in person with apologies.
It seems somewhat apparent his motives are selfish "I am lonely, I need sex". Those comments are meant to make you think "if I have sex, he will stay", is this not what this other woman is providing and it is not working? Consider what he should say that will indicate he is considering YOUR needs.
2006-11-18 10:57:00 · answer #8 · answered by gare 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ive been in a similar situation and in a sort of way still am, but this situation with kids will always tear you apart well i am beggining to think so anyway. its really hard hun and im hurting badly but you gotta do whats best for the kids and them hurting or you arguing over it wouldent be. good luck whatever you decide.x
2006-11-18 11:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by angelalways 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not missing him, your missing male company. What you have to do is think of why you split and then think of how quick he got over you whilst sticking it up someone else and now that's not worked out he has come back to you because your more than likely to take him back.
Tell him where to go for good and find someone that deserves you,
2006-11-18 11:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by tom2764 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋