I'm 16 and 3 months pregnant, HELP!?

Question

hi, i'm sixteen and about three months pregnant. My boyfriend isn't leaving, but he's acting really strange and depressed. me too. How can I help him? And what should I do? We think adoption is the best, but the months ahead are still going to be tough. Any advice would be great thanks.

I'm 16 and I'm about 3 months pregnant. A walking example that birth control does not always work. We plan to give the baby up for adoption, but we're still a bit unsure of what to do in the next several months.

Answer 1

The best way you can help him is just to reassure him. Be open and honest about your feelings. You have a journey ahead of you that will need both of you to finish. I hope and pray that everything works out for you. I think that deciding to give your baby up for adoption is a very wise decision if you are 100% sure that you and your boyfriend will not be able to raise your child on your own. My wife and I have been married for 10 years and we do not have any children. Unfortunately, we will never know the joy of having our own child because my wife had to have a hysterectomy this past March due to some medical problems. Giving your baby up for adoption means that you will be giving a gift to a family out there, a gift they cannot give themselves. Stay strong and I pray you will have the strength and courage to do what you feel you must do. I hope that one day my wife and I will have the opportunity to be as lucky as the family who gets to adopt your baby.

Answer 2

You need to focus on yourself and your own health right now, your boyfriend is probably depressed because he's scared and worried about his part in things. Good for him that he's still around, but it is usually the mother who has to bear the brunt of such a pregnancy; not only do you have to go through the nine months and give birth, but it will also probably be you who has the final word on the BIG decision- whether or not to keep your baby.

Talk to a social worker at the maternity hospital about your options. It is a very tough decision to have to make. Perhaps adoption could be arranged that gives you the option of retaining some sort of contact with your child, if that's what you want. You ideally should talk to the social worker as a couple, but if your b/f can't handle the everyday stuff, then it's unlikely he'll be able for the bigger things. But he might just surprise you.

Be absolutely sure that adoption is the choice for you and your baby. I became pregnant at the age of 38 by a man who had no interest in becoming a father. I was in a bad situation - I had 4 other children from my first marraige; I was only working part-time; my b'f wanted me to have an abortion. I refused. I DID say I would consider adoption. We went to see a social worker as a couple. He thought that was a good sign, he thought it was just a matter signing a paper and handing my new baby over for adoption. However, when I said I wanted to have time to think about it, he lost his temper and hit me; told me to make my choice - it was him or the baby.

I made my choice that moment, but I didn't tell him until I gave birth. I threw him out and kept my baby, who is now 14. It was hard, but I did it.

This may not be for you. You are both still very young, and make no mistake about it - a baby is for life. At your age, you have plenty of time to have more children, if that is what you both want. You need to have lived a little, I think, before you are ready to commit to parenthhod.

I hope you find your answer. I wish you well.

Answer 3

Why don't you have the baby and give it up for adoption if you feel you are too young to bring up this child and if you don't wnat the responsibility? There are so many childless couples who would love to have your baby for life. You are already 3 months pregnant and the baby has a heartbeat. Don't get an abortion. Getting one can also play havoc on your health sometimes. The coming months may be tough only if you think it to be tough. Think and act like a mother-to-be. Eat nutritious foods, keep healthy, walk regularly, keep your spirits high (even though it might not make sense when I tell you at this point of time) and get on with life. Stay around happy people who say and do positive supportive things around you. You can at least do these small things for the next 6-7 months....this is the least you could do for a baby. Give it a good healthy start in life even if you are not going to be there for him/her. Take care and ask your boyfriend to support you through this.

Answer 4

The most important thing right now is the child living inside you. Doing what is best for that baby and adoption would be a good idea. Unless you are ready to give up your life to give that baby a childhood. As parents we happily adjust our lives to make sure that our children have a childhood which means not putting them in front of the television, but taking them to the park and playing with them as reading to them. Making sure they get their shots, that they are fed, etc. Babies come before us, if they are hungry and you are hungry they eat first. Since you are only sixteen you should consider adoption because you need to finish school and got to college. Unless you have the support system to have the baby and do both. After you have the baby don't have sex until you are ready to handle the consequences that can come out of sex.

Answer 5

Is your boyfriend billy? I answered his question on this. I am soooo glad for your responsible decisions, despite your responsible actions!! Adoption is the most loving decision you can make!!! I will pray for you that all goes well, that you will be strong. You are helping a couple out there realize their dream. .. of becoming parents. I know people that can not get (or stay) pregnant, and a newborn is the best gift they can ever get. God has such plans for your baby. . .despite the protection you used, God wanted you and your boyfriend to be the ones to bring this child to earth. It's in the hard times that we grow. It's in the wilderness that we mature. You and your boyfriend are being SOOOOO unselfish, and SOOOOO responsible. What a fabulous example you are to the world. I will keep you in my prayers!! Please feel free to email if you like.

God bless!!!!

xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo

Answer 6

if you are thinking adoption
call the Job and faimly services in your area.

discuss this with your parrents,

JFS can give you options without commitment.

he is probably depressed,
when I was 16, I wanted to play and party, and have little to no responsibilites,
he is probable thinking now about having to support the child, and possibly you.
no more parties, work
no more late nights, child care.
and this is for the next 18+ years....

and he may be getting crap from his parrents, from his freinds,

I am sure that you are depressed to, so many things to be frightened for,
but talk to someone,
if the people you know are being judgmental, and harsh,
seek out someone professional.
Like I said, Job and faimly services is a good help,
There may be more resources if you look in the phone book, or talk to them
unfortunatly, some may look at your age, and need parental consent before helping,
but many places will listen.

try your highschool guidenace teacher if you have one.

But be careful of your freinds and faimly
many will tell you things based on their emotion,
not what is best.
because they are familar with you, they may( unintentionally) make matters more difficult.

Don't keep them in the dark, they are your support, but do seek out independant advice.

and please please,
try to stick in school as best you can no matter what happens.
its very hard,
but its harder in life later to not have that little peice of paper.

Answer 7

adoption is hard, because after 9 months you will start to love your baby. and in the future you will think about him everyday. when you will have other kids, you will still think about him. maybe you should think about adaption after you give birth. think a lot, and see what you really want at the end. \
Can your parents help you?
Good luck and God Bless

Answer 8

wait.. i think your boyfriend just posted a question about his girlfriend being 16 and 3 months pregnat and how u wanna put the baby up for adoption and how birth control doesnt work! He posted it in adolescent to... if its him he really cares about u!

Answer 9

adoption is an awesome thing to do... it takes alot of courage, compassion for others, and sacrifice to do something like that... i myself would NEVER be able to do it... you might want to put the baby up for adoption now, but when you start to feel him/her inside of you... moving... and when you go to the dr and see the baby on the ultrasound monitor... you will begin to love that baby... and from that point you will begin to bond with him/her in your own way... when he/she is born, you will cry... it's a wonderfull experience... you will prolly change your mind later on... i'm hoping that your parents know about this... if not, then it's time to tell them b/c they are going to find out soon... and it's best for them to know now, so they can give you the support system that you need... as for your b/f, i wouldn't worry about him too much... you're the one carrying this child... there are 2 lives at risk, yours and the baby's (complications do arise)... i don't think you need counseling or anything like that... just tell your parents ASAP... continue and finish your high schooling (NO GED... you need HS Diploma)... it's not as bad as you're making it out to be... just think of it like this... if you decide to keep the baby, no one will EVER love you as much as your child does... you will be your child's most favorite person... and he/she too will be yours... i wish you the best of luck in your journey... *hugs*

Answer 10

JUST LIKE YOU HE IS DEPRESSED. MANY EMOTIONS ARE RUNNING THROUGH HIS MIND AND IT'S HARD TO KNOW WHERE TO START. YOU ARE BOTH STILL VERY YOUNG AND STILL HAVE A CHANCE AT GREAT THINGS IN LIFE. DON'T PRESSURE HIM TOO MUCH ON THE SUBJECT OF HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THIS. LET HIM CLEAR HIS MIND AND IN THE MEAN TIME SUPPORT HIM AND LET HIM TALK FIRST AND LET HIM BE THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP. IM SURE THAT HE IS CURANTLY THINKING OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND KEEP THAT BABY HEALTY SO THAT WITH WHAT EVER THE BOTH OF YOU DECIDE YOU WILL HAVE A HEALTHY ONE. TAKE CARE. HOPE ALL TURNS OUT FOR THE BEST AND I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS.