My ex-husband and I have been divorced for three years, we have an 8-year-old daughter (and joint shared custody) and he is remarried. I am still friends with him and now his new wife, and spend time with them and my daughter doing fun stuff from time to time. My friends and co-workers ridicule me about this frequently. Isn't anyone else still friends with his or her ex-spouse?
2006-11-18 00:21:05 · 22 answers · asked by Rebecca 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good question. Just because you couldn't be married to one another doesn't mean you can't get along.
This is how I would like to be with my husband if and when divorce happens. He probably will be a jerk to me, but I will always be civil and respectful
I am VERY proud of you. you have something unique and wonderful there and your daughter will only benefit from it.
*HUGS*
2006-11-18 00:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You will always have a bond of some sort. You also have a child in common. It's a good thing if you can remain friendly however, in the long run, it's not a good thing to be real good friends. Try and keep in mind that there are now boundaries to be respected. He now belongs to someone. He may also continue to believe that at anytime he wishes, he can say or do anything with you. He may feel that he can come over at anytime "cause he has a daughter" What will happen if you are great friends and a new love in your life has a problem with this friendship? You need to be friendly but, you need to set up bounderies and respect them for everyone's benefit.
2006-11-18 08:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by DooWopKid 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have a 16 year old daughter and her father and I are friends. I think that is very mature of you , your ex and his wife to have this type of relationship. It only hurts the child when the parents can't get along. I don't understand why people find it unusual for exs to be friends just because the marriage ended. Don't let these immature people to change the way you and your ex behave, your daughter will be better off in the long run. Trust me, My daughter is a very happy well adjusted 16 year old and I believe very strongly that it has to do with the fact that her father and I remained friends in spite of our relationships ( I am now married and so is he). We were lucky enough to marry people who understand the unimportance of our relationship and how we need to be friends to raise our daughter
2006-11-18 09:44:57 · answer #3 · answered by juicie813 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not at all... Even when I see him on the street, I will avoid him. Its just that I don't want to relive the memories and the bottom line is that, I've no more common interest with him anymore. Divorce my ex 10 yrs ago, remarried for 9 years now and have 2 great kids... no love lost
2006-11-18 08:43:21 · answer #4 · answered by The Babe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a wonderful thing. People are under the impression that once your divorce your partner you should be dire enemies for the rest of your lives. Kudos to you and your ex and his new wife. You are very mature and I can guarantee that your 8 year old daughter is a very happy young girl and will grow up to be able to handle different types of situations.
My cousin also divorced her husband about 15 years ago. They have remained very good friends and both are a very big part of their son's life. The son is now 20 years old and a very happy well-rounded young man. My cousin's ex was also invited to her wedding and he and her new husband get along very well.
Kudos to all of you. God bless all of you. This is beautiful and don't allow anyone to ridicule you for having this type of relationship.
2006-11-18 08:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My sister is best friends with her hubbies ex-wife. I find it weird. But then again I don't even want to acknowledge my ex let alone be friends with him. Guess it boils down to the why's behind the divorce and if done friendly or with lots of ridicule and fighting. My fiance is somewhat friends with his ex. He says it's due to their son. What weirds me out is when she calls him (at work so I am not around) about 10 times a week just to "shoot the ****". She also calls blatting about her boyfriend, work, her car, and once she even called to ask him what he thought of her new haircut and perm. Now to me, that's pushing it. If you have kids, sure get along with them then, but not at the expense of the new wife. As long as she's ok with it, then that's good for you, them and your daughter, but make sure she's ok with it because you just don't know what's really going on in her mind. When you leave, she may be peeved off you are around, but won't say so.
2006-11-18 08:35:42 · answer #6 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although I'm not divorced, my parents who divorced 7 years ago are friends now. They decided to step up and not keep old feelings from them both participating fully in their children's weddings and the birth of their first grandbaby.
My husband and his ex are great friends - they went through a rough patch - as with any breakup, but rose above it to help raise their son.
It is wonderful that you are able to work with your husband for the greater good (raising a well-rounded child in a loving environment). No child can thrive when hate about anyone is being slung around (verbally, emotionally, or spiritually) - especially when that hate is directed at the child's other parent.
Good for you - Keep it up!
2006-11-18 08:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by stargazergirl1 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My ex hubby and I have 3 kids and we have both remarried (to new spouses). We live in the same city. Our families spend every
thanksgiving, and X-mas together, we have taken vacations together. The kids have cell phones and know that they can call any of their 4 parents for anything. We've been doing this for 10 years.
Honey you have to do what works for you - don't worry what other people say - its your life!
2006-11-18 22:56:16 · answer #8 · answered by chickie_momma 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Great girlfriend
kudos to you as you are being very adimant about the whole situation.
As for me dealing with the ex's meowwwwwwwwwwww cat fight lol his ex wife and whoa we both try her and I are women and so its expected so he as well trys and compliments the situation and trys his best when he feels the bullshit coming on
8 years
God Bless may you not be so clingy and find your self a new dingy lol Good Luck and congratz you've got class woman
2006-11-18 08:45:02 · answer #9 · answered by Chi-Girli 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My parents do not like each other but they still try to be friends. It is great for the children while they are growing up. Take it from someone whose parents divorced when I was six and I am 19 now.
2006-11-18 09:50:16 · answer #10 · answered by little bear 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋