"I cheated on my spouse and now I want to know if I should tell them"....I read that everyday here in Answers and just wonder why anyone would want to tell their spouse. I say cheat, enjoy, and keep your mouth shut!
2006-11-17 23:42:38 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In addition to poor writing skills, many people on yahoo answers also have poor reading skills. It is clear that you want opinions on why cheaters confess and not that you have such a confession to make yourself.
I believe that cheaters are motivated by several reasons. The list could be endless but my ideas are:
They feel guilt.
They feel remorse and want to come clean.
They may see confession as a tool to emotionally manipulate the partner due to neglect, "See what you made me do?"
Tit for Tat.
They may genuinely regret it and want to try to be honest and make amends.
They like drama.
They want a divorce.
They saw it on Oprah and somehow believe confessing will "strenghten" their relationship.
I say, honor your vows or make a clean break.
2006-11-17 23:54:11 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you tell your spouse that you cheated, often times it's because you want to unload the guilt and once you have told them this, all you did was transfer your guilt onto them so your "conscience' ( or lack thereof) is relieved.
Some people would argue that what your spouse doesn't know won't hurt them, but I have to disagree with that, especially when there's STD's involved. Also, even though you try to hide it, sooner or later, your dirty little secret will come out anyway.
Telling your spouse may unload your guilt but you will also risk losing your marriage but you should at least give them the dignity of knowing so that they can make a choice for themselves, whether that choice is to stay and forgive you or leave the marriage. It is the price you have to pay for your own choices.
2006-11-18 00:00:02 · answer #2 · answered by jdhs 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well I had an emotional affair with my ex. And I had to explain to my husband why I was crying for four days straight. I couldn't hide my feelings. I would imagine it would be hard to sleep with the "other" and then be with a spouse, and not have some feelings of guilt. Maybe thats why they confess. My question is, why not just get divorced, and be with that other person, if its possible? It isn't in my case.
2006-11-18 03:24:27 · answer #3 · answered by :-) literary cappy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you cheat you break trust. When you break you can not be trusted. Trust is an earned thing. The truth will eventually come to view. Meaning do you really want to risk your partner finding out from a third party??? If you are sincere tell the truth, deal with the hurt, and do all that you can do to save youe marriage
2006-11-18 00:05:16 · answer #4 · answered by MeToo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people that cheat feel really guilty about it. Telling your spouse relieves your guilt and transfers the bad feeling onto them. Good for your conscience, really shitty for the person you're telling it too. The advice: just stop cheating and then you won't feel guilty anymore!
2006-11-17 23:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by MS1465 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd say it's their conscience getting the better of them. My ex told me of about 3 affairs he had, all one nighters. It hurt me emotionally and spiritually to know that, but I stuck by him due to our 2 kids. Then he left for yet another affair, and it was 3 years after our breakup that he admitted to cheating over 25 times. Glad he told me, as I knew in my gut that he was, but him telling me was confirmation of it. But the other 22 times he could have shut up about. And if you are married, dating or living with someone, then everyone should grow some balls and leave first BEFORE sleeping with someone else.
2006-11-18 00:42:05 · answer #6 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why on earth does a spouse want to cheat?if you're not ready to settle down with one person,then you obviosly aren't ready for a spouse.if you have a spouse,and you run into problems,cheating isn't going to help,it will increase your problems...at least tenfold.communication will help to solve differences.that's what being a wedded couple is about anyway(at least partially...)
2006-11-18 00:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by backlashwarrior 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's because there truly is no remorse and the cheater wants to hurt the cheated. Otherwise, it would be written off as a mistake and not repeated. In your case however, you're just a liar.
2006-11-17 23:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
cheating in any form is really not healthy and good in any relationship... being your wife sure wont be easy... but cheating and continues lying is more worst that a rotten fish attitude....
ever wonder why some of your species cheat and confess coz they realize that they are wrong and that they love their wife so much more... do you believe in "karma" ... Wow! trust me it really strikes fast be careful... confessing to your wife and partner is one way of saying they are sorry and of course it follows lots of forgiveness hugs and kisses... confessing can also be a form of saying please let me go coz i dont love you anymore and i wanted to stop lying and hurting you from behind... confessing is being brave enough to face the reality and consequences... in short confessing is being man enough to face the the real world of love! hope for your 4ever hapiness
2006-11-17 23:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by *Pretty Pink* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they confess because they feel like crap and want someone to make it all better. I don't think has anything to do with conscience. I've been cheated on, and he told me, it did me no good whatsoever and i dumped his *** and I hate him to this day. I think unless you've contracted a disease, you should shut the **** up about your cheating past, quit cheating, get right with yourself, or move on. Confessing, in my opinion is stupid, unless you are confessing to a priest.
2006-11-18 00:04:08 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋