Some of my colleages r very irritative & they always makes me angry & sometimes upset.In anger, I harm myself. My lot of time wastes in all this. I dont know how to behave with them? Tell me how to handle them as they always tries to hurt me.
2006-11-17 23:34:47 · 16 answers · asked by honey 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I have to assume by "colleagues" you mean the people who work with you. If that is so, this is a tough situation. Maybe by taking a restroom break when they are bothering you, you could calm yourself down. I wish you had given more detail of what they are doing that is so irritating to you. Since it is only some of them, make your dealings with them very business-like and be more friendly to those who don't irritate you. Do you think you should change jobs? I'm really sorry this is happening to you and I do hope you find a solution so that you can have some peace.
2006-11-17 23:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. G. 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Better Communication
It's natural to get defensive when you're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, listen to what's underlying the words: but don't let your anger let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.
Using Humor
"Silly humor" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like. If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.
Angry people tend to feel that they are morally right, that any blocking or changing of their plans is an unbearable indignity and that they should NOT have to suffer this way. Maybe other people do, but not them!
There are two cautions in using humor. First, don't try to just "laugh off" your problems; rather, use humor to help yourself face them more constructively. Second, don't give in to harsh, sarcastic humor; that's just another form of unhealthy anger expression.
What these techniques have in common is a refusal to take yourself too seriously. Anger is a serious emotion, but it's often accompanied by ideas that, if examined, can make you laugh.
Changing Your Environment
Sometimes it's our immediate surroundings that give us cause for irritation and fury. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the "trap" you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.
Give yourself a break. Make sure you have some "personal time" scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful.
It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive).
Remember, you can't eliminate anger—and it wouldn't be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can't change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.
2006-11-18 07:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by missy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1.first of all try and find out where the mistake lies,,in you or the others. if the mistake lies in you then you should take corrective steps. it might be that your colleagues are simply making fun of you and are taking advantage of your irritability.
2.if the mistake lies in them, then you can approach one fo them whom you feel is a little more approachable and try and talk it out with him/her.
3.the best suggestion for controlling anger is...
any time one gets angry or frustrated, it lasts only for a mere 5 secs. if you can control your emotions and not let them out in those five seconds, then you will be back to normal. yet another suggestion would be to get out of that place (ran away from bad company) and later try and sort it out.
4.approach them in a friendly manner even if they mean to irritate you.gradually they will come to terms with you. patience is a must...all the best
2006-11-18 08:38:20 · answer #3 · answered by karthik v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just lose it! write all the bloody things that comes into ur mind into a piece of paper and keep it, make sure u do read it after some time.This will keep u thinking how silly u have been acting.
Be open. Tell them u dont like what they say and demand self respect.
If that doesnt work...act like them ..be like them.After all not everybody can be like you.
If that also doesnt work...go to a counsellor.
Good luck!
2006-11-18 22:09:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should put in your mind that they can hurt you only to the extent that you allow them to. IGNORE them. Don't allow what they say and do, to get into you. You know yourself better. Whatever they say, is inconsequential to who you really are. Why do you allow them to ruin your day? Take deep breaths and better yet, SMILE at them sweetly and say , "no comment" and do not react. You'll notice that they will be the ones now getting mad at you because you are not affected. It is difficult to do this at first, but with practise, you can acquire the practice. Conquer them and your self. Keep trying until you are able to make your response natural...".no reaction and no comment "
2006-11-18 22:30:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to stay focus, if you wound up hurting youself then you not only proved there point but you have disruptted your day by letting someone put their 2 cents into it. WHY?! Dont worry about others, if they do not put food or clothing around you.
2006-11-18 08:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by Wayne C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Laugh at them, without them world would be so boring, also have spiritual leaning so that you understand God is the ultimate authority. Excercise and also remember your health is more important, they are not worth getting a BP over. Ok enjoy! watch comedy movies and tv shows, have fun.
2006-11-19 00:10:08 · answer #7 · answered by friendly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very common working in fast food restaurants with teenagers. See what Walmart has to offer or Home Depot.
2006-11-18 07:48:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger is a kind of energy which should be transfered to other activites , So try to redirect that energy in some sports actvities.
2006-11-18 08:07:15 · answer #9 · answered by kiran kumar mahaur 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is not a problem to be solved, its a mystery to be lived--Osho
Remember this.
Treat people not as problems.
They are humans and hence are a mystery
2006-11-18 20:27:54 · answer #10 · answered by Harish.K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋