my wife is an amazing lady. rock solid. pillar of strength and support. excellent comrade. good mother. obviously she has many negatives. like - she is headstrong. sometimes seems insensitive, harsh and uncaring.
but, i love her. or atleast i like to think so. atleast, i respect her a gr8 deal, and like her a lot.
so, i don't want to see her in pain.
we haven't had sex in last 8 years - since the time she conceived our first child.
i am a hungry animal :-) in this area. atleast with a voracious and varied appetite.
and i hv fought my urge to go out and find a quencher, for 8 years.
but now, it is becoming difficult to help myself in dousing my fires.
any brilliant ideas?
2006-11-17 21:57:33 · 12 answers · asked by advasha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I haven't had sex in eighteen years.
I'm eighteen.
2006-11-17 22:21:36 · answer #1 · answered by Aaron Zachariah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please don't take what I am saying harshly, only as a way to help you look at the situation a little differently (at least from a different point of view, your wife's).
It's easy to for some responders to your question to place all the blame on your wife. To me, that's the lazy way of looking at it. According to what you say, you love your wife a great deal and you obviously are happy being with her...well, at least having her presence around. But why don't you look at it like this: has anything between the two of you changed; major or minor? Have you changed any? Are you behaving any differently; especially since the addition to the family?
All of these questions may mean something and may mean nothing to you. A lot of times I have found that marriages don't last because the feeling doesn't last. That is to say that if it doesn't feel like the first time it can get dull. It's also to say that the same thing over and over again gets boring. Treat her like you are still dating her and not married because sometimes, regardless of how bad it may sound and how hard it is to admit, marriage can seem like an obligation. And there is a certain amount of obligation, but you don't want it to feel like it's a job. Most of the time with marriages, after a while one partner may cease to treat the other partner as a lover and start treating him/her differently.
So in short, start going on dates again, make little eyes at her. Don't change how it all started, but change everything for the better.
Does that make sense?
2006-11-18 12:59:11 · answer #2 · answered by Miss P. Square Pinky Swear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably among the most tolerant, a possible place in the Guinness Book of Records!! How you love that woman who had ceased to bother about your natural need!! Ever talked honestly to her about it? If you are very happy with everything else, except for this unconsummated cohabitation, then perhaps you should just try to go on as in the past 8 years. To relieve the torture, perhaps you should go see a doctor who may help to "remove your personal source of desire".
2006-11-17 22:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by seeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have u tried to find out her desires in the mean time? Probably u have denied her the pleasure of sex for some petty reason. Otherwise ur desires r not strong enough and ur intention to go out and find pleasure outside is only a momentary idea and will not be implemented.
2006-11-17 22:10:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to have serious talk with your wife let her know how you feel that it has been to long and that you cannot carry on without
having intimacy within the relationship mainly making love etc. Tell her that you have given her 8yrs and that you have never strayed from loving her but you need some attention to your manhood or your going to explode.
2006-11-18 09:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your wife has a medical condition, it is not normal, and not right for her to be disinterested in sex for so long. Something is wrong and it goes way beyond sex. If you continue to put up with this, you are enabling her to be sick. If I were you, I would DEMAND some counseling, or I would get a divorce.
2006-11-17 23:17:00 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is a b*tch. Regardless of what you think you two got into to this marriage for better /for worse/in sickness/and in health.Yet she denies you that which is part of a healthy relationship.Why should you have to suffer? Tell her that you are going to get that releif which you need. If she doesn't like that too bad. There are too many women out there who think they can manipulate men to do what they want. Granted sometimes it's for our own good, but most times it's just for controlling us.It's b*llsh*t yet no man ever wants to speak up for himself 'cause he's afraid he might "hurt her feelings". Well what the hell is she doing to you? Be a man. If she doesn't want to give you what you need find someone who will. If she doesn't like it f**k her, divorce her, get the kid and be done with it.
Look at the rest of your answers. NO BACKBONE!!!!
2006-11-17 22:23:49 · answer #7 · answered by Daryl C 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You and your wife should see a marriage counselor and possibly a sex therapist. There has to be a reason you two have not had sex for so long.
2006-11-18 02:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by Zari A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you spoken to her about this?
have you tried doing romantic things for her?
have you tried to initiate sex with her? what does she say to you?
8 years is a very long time to go without sex.... do you remember what happened the last time you had sex? maybe something bad happened and it has scared her?
you may want to consider talking to her about it...and perhaps get councelling..
good luck with it
2006-11-17 22:01:29 · answer #9 · answered by He moonwalked on my <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes,first have you told her how you feel?Secondly this is nothing you or her will fix by yourselfs or the help of us out here in the web land.You need to get some profesional help and it will come.
2006-11-17 22:04:09 · answer #10 · answered by porkchophaynes0206 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a sex therapist.
2006-11-17 22:02:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋