I am a student and I live in a dormitory. I usually have some problems with my roomates and there are many quarrels between us on who should wash the dishes, who should clean the room and so on...
I feel that I can't defend my rights and usually I'm underdog.
I think I have no policy and I'm very simple and honest with them.
It is no mind really who should do jobs, but it is very bad kind of unpleasand feeling.
So can you help me how should I behave with them?
We are all males.
2006-11-17 21:31:44 · 8 answers · asked by soorena 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
no offense but what are you talking about? you seem a little up tight which completely is NOT a bad thing but you need to relax.. you will make your roommates feel uncomfortable which will most likely make you feel even MORE uncomfortable and awkward then it already is.. you should talk to them, set some i guess you can call them guide lines and not act like you are their mother.. do you know what im saying?? you need to let go and live alittle.. go out with them and BOND with them.. trust me regaurdless of what you think you will be happy that you are connecting on ANY kind of level with them.. which coming from the outside looking in, you seem to be the type of person that has trouble with new people, especially new people... its not a bad thing.. but that is your problem.. they, being completely honest, probably think that you are very uptight so that may cause them to rebel and that WILL MOST DEFINATELY piss you off.. so you should either A find some new roommates B get an appt by yourself or C make a connection with them and compromise.. i hardly know if im even talking about the same thing you are.. i didnt really understand your point but im pretty sure i caught your drift.. goodluck and loosin up a little.. anytime you wanna talk ill be dead honest with you.. send me an email or you can myspace message me www.myspace.com/jaimelaine
2006-11-17 21:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by .:*BeAuTiFuL*:. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's now the middle of November and you guys don't have an agreement as to how your room is to be kept clean? You should have done that right when you moved in together.
Try having a "family meeting" and tell them how this is bothering you. This is YOUR room too and you DO have rights. If you act like the underdog, then they're going to treat you like the underdog. Stand up for yourself and assert your rights. You're paying too much for college to let a bunch of guys push you around.
If they don't want to help keep the room half-way clean, then clean your part and whatever else is bothering you and leave their crap alone! Do not wash their dishes! Don't pick up their clothes!
Truthfully, I don't think things will change much. Next year, think about getting a single room instead of sharing.
2006-11-17 21:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by grahamma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone should be washing his own dishes, and doing his own laundry. If someone cooks, the cook shouldn't have to wash dishes as well, however. If somebody doesn't pick up his own stuff, take it out of common areas and pitch it into a container in a closet or other area; if he wants it, he knows where to find it; beyond that, it's not anybody else's responsiblity to care for it or put in its proper place. Practice what you preach - if you want your roommates to behave reasonably, you have to do so as well. Get together, make a schedule, and post it so that everybody knows their responsibilities. We use this system with 12-year-old Boy Scouts, so it certainly ought to work for adult college students!
2006-11-17 21:43:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First i'd attempt to socialise basically a sprint together with her, you be attentive to attempt to strike up conversations. Then if she persists, i'd bypass and ask her what's incorrect! i be attentive to it is easier reported than finished yet what's worse; being in stress like this or only asking her? What have you ever offered to lose, she's nonetheless no longer friendly with you so would as properly.
2016-12-10 11:11:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey just make a list on who does what in a weeks schedule. That away you all can be doing chores instead of just one all the time. Working together to get something done is a lot faster than working alone.
2006-11-17 21:43:25 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle_204 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put your foot down and assign jobs to everybody. You can switch jobs to each other every week so everybody gets to do some of the work in his round. Tell them clearly, you are not a boy around here to do their work. If they refuse to take rounds, cook your own food, wash your own utensils, make your own bed and clean and dust your own space.
2006-11-17 21:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have the same problem. Sounds like you have low self esteem and they roll over you, me too. I never say anything. But, you know what, I don't want my living arrangements to be like the United Nations always negotciating and debating everthing. I just bide my time till I can get my own place.
2006-11-17 21:44:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Don't buy a dish washer, just marry one..............."
2006-11-17 21:45:25 · answer #8 · answered by drorba1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋