I read somewhere that you need to attack the problem, not the person.
Just ask him what his real opinion is, and so that he feels it is safe to do so, promise you won't get mad or emotional and that you just want to know so that the two of you can fix any mis-understandings or problems. He needs to promise the same. Both of you stick to your side of the bargain. Fix the problem rationally and calmly, don't use the occasion to see who's to blame.
I'm not telling you to suppress your feelings for ever. Just that you're both now playing the role of an analyst, not the patient. Analyse and fix the problem rationally, then go back to real life.
There's no need to deal with an emotional problem in an emotional way, just deal with an emotional problem in a logical stp-by-step way. Once you know what the real problem is, as opposed to what you think it is or what you think it all means based on past problems or experiences, you now have a good diagnosis that you're both agreed upon.
Armed with the correct diagnosis, you're now in a position to fix the problem, by yourselves or with the help of friends or by asking more questions on here or by seaching for articles on the whole problem or small parts of the problem.
You can use this technique regard to the trip. Ask him whether he wants you to go (at all, on your own, or together). Men have fears too. Does he have some mis-guided suspicion that you're meeting someone? (let him tell you, but don't ask him).
On the subject of shopping, men and women think very differently and a woman's shopping style where she sees how she feels/looks in each dress is just 'dithering' to a man. He needs to learn what's expected of him (tastes, compliments, etc). Asking him for opinions on dresses and things that he has no opinion on just does his head in. Give the poor man a break. Just because he has no knowledge of color co-ordination or the names of fabrics, doesn't mean that he doesn't love you anymore.
A man's shopping style is quick and decisive, just 'That's nice, I'll have it'. Done in 2 minutes.
2006-11-17 22:50:46
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answer #1
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answered by ricochet 5
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Oh there's nothing like a moody husband that can't make up his mind. Make up yours and stick with it, his just being controlling and wants you to jump when he saids jump. Each time you do it gives him satisfaction. Quit. When you go to the mall tell him your driving or your driving your own car and why. Go out of town with your friends. Would he stay home if he where asked to go with his friends, That is if he has any. And if he doesn't don't you find it odd that he doesn't. Probably because his controlling.
2006-11-17 21:16:37
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answer #2
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answered by Countrygirl 5
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Sounds like he suffering from some serious depression. The moodiness or swings sounds very bipolar. One minute he's happy about going with you to the mall the next minute at the mall he needs to go home. Bipolar is extremely difficult to deal with. As for him throwing I will not forgive you..etc... he just attempting to control you because you can't control his own emotions.
When he is on one of his upswings bipolars tend to be too happy. It is very little middle ground. On his uptime make an appointment to see the doctor. Step number one getting checked for that. If he doesn't have it or they can't diagnose it at least it gives you some place to start.
I was with someone like this... tried everything to fix it... I woke up at 5 a.m. also like you with weird questions. Medicine helped but she would not stay on them. Needless to say on the longer with her because it was a no-win situation
Mark
Author
GirlsTelAll
2006-11-17 21:22:41
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answer #3
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answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3
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he could be having a male menopause.
else, ask him to take 1 or 2 days off from his work and have a good rest at home and also a good breakfast, good lunch and good dinner.
do not go out on that day(s).
after the meals, have a light chat with him - ask him if he is having stress at work and if so, take some herbal soup etc. of course, you shall buy it for him and ask the medical hall physician what kind of herbal soups he should drink.
turn the volume of the tv lower.
he seems too tired from work.
give him a good massage on the back and hands and legs.
he needs your care and concern just as you need his care and concern.
cheers and good luck!
mercury of love
2006-11-17 21:16:52
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answer #4
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answered by mercury of love 4
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the only maximum major ingredient in any marriage or courting is verbal substitute. in case you may sit down and communicate over with one yet another, frivolously, then you extremely can deal with any issue besides the undeniable fact that, it appears like you're the single which's attempting to communicate and get him to pay interest, and he doesn't favor to hearken to. besides the undeniable fact that, being honest, I even ought to assert that you it appears like the further he doesn't communicate to you, the further clinging you've grow to be. that is a vicious circle - you hang to him, he strikes away, you hang on extra, he strikes away extra. For the sake of your son and your sanity you should pull your self mutually and take a cold detached look at this concern. tell him that you may want to favor to communicate over with him and agenda a time. Be rational, be logical, do not cry or get emotional - maximum adult adult males can't manage this and could purely 'close off'. Then attempt to characteristic a communicate with him about what is going on between you 2. Be prepared to be honest, and receive some residing house truths decrease back. that is conceivable that you're prepared to artwork this by mutually - perhaps he will conform to be extra attentive to you in public and also you, in turn, conform to enable him socialise with people. it really is a commence. If besides the undeniable fact that you won't be able to come to any contract then I recommend marriage counselling, by a impartial third party who can save the peace and save you on target. solid success, i desire it extremely works out for you.
2016-11-29 06:04:29
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answer #5
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answered by ? 4
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yes ur husbond is not anly moody but may dominating too.ur letting him rule on ur life.may be u let him enter in life to very much honey there is boundry limit between husband n wife too u should now that tell him that u love him lot but u like to spend some time with ur freinds too u have ur social life n u would like him to understand that talk to him about his behaviour tell him how it hurts u when he do such things but in very polite way dont pool it long way becoz mens cant tolerate things as we woman can tell him what u feel talk to him sweaty this can realy help ur relationship
2006-11-17 21:21:13
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answer #6
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answered by shabana o 2
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Human mind is like cob'sweb, ok..... you sometimes cannot find whats and whys in that......he would have undergone some love failures in his bachelor life and due to somebody's compulsion he would have united you( ofcourse, its an assumption).....so, these type of people get some withered happiness then and there when they morally pinch the partner....try talking to him, and clarify, the mean for your uncomfortability, else take him to a gud psychiatrist.....the best choice is try to find his past life thro' his family members who you feel close with you.....try that and let us know....all the best....
2006-11-17 21:22:25
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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Tell him that you do not believe him anymore because of the umpteen times he has broken his promise and if he really wants to stay in this marriage, he will have to improve his attitude and seek counseling. Tell him that you are sick and tired of his fickle-mindedness and he should better think a thousand times before interfering in your decisions because you are at your rope's end. Be serious.
2006-11-17 21:15:46
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answer #8
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answered by Smriti 5
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Invite your husband along on this trip. If you want to put an end to his moodiness, give him head whenever these bouts start. He'll perk right up.
2006-11-17 21:13:04
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answer #9
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answered by rtanys 6
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Sounds to me your husband may have some type of anxiety disorder. Get him to see a shrink.
2006-11-17 21:33:23
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answer #10
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answered by babyj248 4
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