my commonlaw husband thinks it is ok to continueously grope me. even public when he wants to run his finger across my crotch he does. it bothers me and I feel very disrespected and violated. He says I should be happy that he wants me all the time. what do you think
2006-11-17 20:54:37 · 22 answers · asked by corinne_29_ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's very disrespectful when he does it in public. I would be embarassed. This also gives the onlookers a message that it's okay to disrespect you in front of them. It's okay if he does it in the privacy of your own home but to do it in public? That's a no-no! It's okay for him to want you all the time but he shouldn't advertise it to total strangers either.
2006-11-17 21:00:09 · answer #1 · answered by jdhs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There have been several court cases on this matter and the simple answer is NO.
rape and sexual assult apply as much in a marraige as they do in the community.
You are not the property of your husband ,common law or atherwise and he has no right to do these things to you.
If he gropes you or makes unwanted advances this is sexual harrasment and assult, if he forces you to have sex when you dont want it then it is Rape. Pure and simple no equivocation...
The issue is what do you want to do about it? If you report him to the Police they will treat it like any other sexual assult complaint and if found guilty there will be jail time.
I would suggest that you firstly talk to your partner and tell him how you feel and warn him that you are prepared to take action if he does not comply.
Frankly in my opinion what ever feelings you have for him are seeminngly not mutual otherwise he wouldnt treat you this way.That will never make a relationship work out how ever you cut it.
Lose this zero and get yourself a hero!
2006-11-18 05:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is extremely disrespectful. Not because it's in public, etc, but because YOU are uncomfortable with it. You need to express your concern about it again. Put your foot down. If he's a good guy and worth your while, he'll respect you and your body. If it's not putting a strain on your relationship now, it will later. I had an aunt who went through the same problem with my (former) uncle. If he continues to do this, I suggest that perhaps you find a councilor for the two of you to go to as this would imply that he knows nothing of boundaries/respect for one another. It is possible that he might have a sexual addiction (that was the case with my former uncle), in which case the councilor could help with that as well.
2006-11-18 05:04:05 · answer #3 · answered by paris_amber2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't that distracting in church? Perhaps if you two WERE married, instead of just playing house, he'd behave more like a husband, rather than a guy who had managed to pick up some easy slutt in the bar. You are settling for a long term shack up, rather than marriage, which shows that you don't really think you are worthy of the respect a decent man has for the person who matters most in his life. You want respect- be worthy of respect.
2006-11-18 06:44:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very very disrespectful and he is certainly violating you and abusing you mentally. It seems he needs some counseling. There's a difference between being romantic and being downright creepy. I mean what do others thin when they see him doing this to you. What is your status in their eyes? He should be the one to keep everyone's eyes off you rather than making them think that you are so easily accessible. I am not trying to drive it in your mind but trying to suggest how to put it in front of him so that he can see what you are talking about. Tell him that you don't like all of them to think dirty when they see you in such a compromising position with him. You want to be looked up to as a respectable lady and not a -------.
2006-11-18 05:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a time and a place for everything. Intimacy is a good thing, no doubt, but really he shouldn't be doing anything to you that he wouldn't first do to himself. Ask him if he's willing to grope himself in a public place. When he does, watch him get thrown out of the restaraunt. :P
2006-11-18 05:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by Prince Janus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love and respect is not to want as that is abuse in any language. If he really feels true love for you then he would do what he feels is right for you. He is just trying to prove his virility and from the sound of it he needs to. Tell him the choice is his, either respect you or no touching at all. Tell him how it makes you feel. Maybe he likes to be with someone that he can show off with and pretend he is the boss and you are cheap and slutty. IMHO I feel you need to have it out with him.
The Doc
2006-11-18 04:59:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if it bothers you then it is disrespectful. Altho I would try to be happy that he finds you attractive. But he does need to behave to a degree. Especially in the public, good grief. There is the bedroom for that.
2006-11-18 04:58:47 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a time and place for everything. Tell him to hold your hand instead of your crotch.Tell him that yes you are happy that he finds you sexy but sometimes you get embarresed at the things he does and it makes you feel dirty...not romantic. Tell him what does turn you on and see if he gets better.Tell him that it's not a compliment unless the person feels good about it.
2006-11-18 08:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a time and place for everything, and what he is doing only shows the sexual side of the relationship, what about how you feel? he should care about your feelings, and Yes, I think that he is being disrespectful to you when he dose not care enough to listen to your wishes on this matter.
2006-11-18 04:59:41 · answer #10 · answered by Lorene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋