Trying to conceive, but he keeps pulling it out last minute?

Question

My partner and I have decided that it is the next step in our relationship to try for a baby. I suffer from depression due to my unfulfilled babywish and after long talks we agreed to try for a child.
Last night though he pulled out again, which really hurt me, and I am ovulating this weekend.
I don't want him to make promises just because I am depressed, because I would like him to do it, because he wants it too and I would feel like blackmailing him with depression. On the other hand I wonder if he gave me false hope.
When I asked him why he pulled it out, he just said: "Why not?!"

I am absolutely right within myself and with my life. I love him and it would be the perfect addition. My depression/sadness is from wishing to do this next step in my life.

Answer 1

It sounds like your partner really doesn't want a child. You could try mentioning to him that just because he's pulling out doesn't mean you won't get pregnant and if it's something he really doesn't want then he needs to tell you properly rather than like this. I know it might be hard to ask and hard to hear the answer but if you're thinking of bringing a baby into this world then now isn't the time to be coy.

Also, I take a bit of offense on your behalf at all the answers about a baby not making your depression any better and you should find out what's really causing it. I know these answers are well meaning but I know from my own experience that your life can be in perfect working order APART from not having a baby and it is VERY depressing. It's a very real cause of depression and shouldn't be swept aside as a reason like your state of mind must be caused by something else.

Best wishes. xxx

Answer 2

Sweetie I know that U don't want to hear this... But you need to really take time out and get into you!!! Trust me a baby could make your depression worst and really complicate your life. Find out what it REALLY is that's causing you to be depressed. Since you have time on your hands volunteer or help someone in need, in other words if you take some of the focus off your self you'll be able to think clearer and fix what's really wrong in your life. If you can't love your self or make your life happy without a baby... You will have a very hard time raising the baby. Are you married to your partner ? If not maybe that should be your next move... Bringing God into your relationship. If he wont marry you why should you give him the blessing of being the father of your child???
Good Luck, God Bless

Answer 3

I'm guessing he realises that he needs to stay in for you to get pregnant?
I'm sorry but I think that he is not certain about having a baby and is subconsciously preventing it happening.
You can't make him want a baby and, yes, your depression is a form of blackmail, albeit a subconscious one.
I think you need to talk frankly to your partner and decide properly whether you both want to try for a baby. If one of you isn't certain then now might not be the time.
I hope that everything is already in place for when you get pregnant, ie that you and your partner have a home of your own, can afford all the things a baby will need, and have made a lasting commitment to each other.
Please bear in mind that a history of depression makes it much much more likely that you will suffer post-natal depression.

Answer 4

I think that his comment was very rude. If you don't know if he said it just to get you out of depression than your lines of communication aren't open and that isnt the way to start a family.

You can still get pregnant if he pulls out as there is semen in precum. But I think you need to look at the relationship and find
out what is really going on before proceeding in your baby plans.

And depression is a chemical imbalance, not a 'snap out of it'
type issue. I think it's naive to think it's just because you want a baby. The first step towards being a good parent is to make sure you are truly ready to be a parent. And not have a baby just because you want one.

Answer 5

A baby isn't a cure for depression, it could make it worse. I hope that your partner knows that a small amount of sperm is released before he actually ejaculates, that is why the withdrawal method is not recommended for birth control. He doesn't seem to want a baby at the moment, you both need to sort a lot of things out first, before you try for a baby, for instance do you love each other enough and does he feel that he is being used just to get you pregnant? You may not be like that, but it could be what he is thinking.

Answer 6

I really feel for you. I'm sort of in the same situation. I met my partner 8yrs ago and accepted the fact he had a 3yr old child from a previous relationship(who he no longer sees down to the mother). 2yrs later i fell pregnant (not planned) But for the last 2-3yrs i've felt ready for another child but i keep getting excuses bout how 'he's' already got 2 children then he agrees we should try for another as we don't want our daughter to be an only child. But somehow he's still holding out and making excuses.
I think our men our stringing us along, and we should really get rid!

Answer 7

My daughter was using the pull out method and got pg any way . Just make sure you are both ready he may still be scared of becoming a dad and if that is the case you should give it time. having a child when one of you truly only wants it will not work , talk it over with him and see where he stands on really being ready. so that child will have both parents love unconditionally

Answer 8

it may take in to a three hundred and sixty 5 days for the uterus to completely get over a d&c through fetal lack of existence. you're in too a lot of a hurry to conceive again, and in case you do, you'll likely lose it again. you should grant your uterus a danger to heal up. Use contraceptives for the subsequent six months or so, and then attempt again to conceive. A D&C doesn't make you sterile, it purely cleans up the mess interior, besides the undeniable fact that that is really scraping the walls of your uterus to get rid of tissues, something like that doesn't heal over nighttime. provide your self time to heal, and also you may likely succeed in conceiving in yet another six months or so.

Answer 9

Firstly, you should have sex about 10 days before the start of your period, or about two weeks after your period ends if you want to conceive. You're only fertile for a precious few days, so have sex often around those times.

Secondly, from the sounds of things, he's reulctant to have a child. You need to press him about this and ask him why. He needs to know how much it means to you, but it's his right not to have a child just as much as it is your right to have one.

By the way, withdrawal method, or coitus interruptus, is highly unreliable. There is a small chance you'll get pregnant even if he keeps pulling out before orgasm. I hope you and your partner sort things out, and good luck to you. *hugs*

Answer 10

Either he doesn't understand that pulling out does not help with having a baby or HE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE ONE!

Believe me, you do not want to have a child with a man that is not ready. It is horrible for you and for the poor child who doesn't get a normal healthy relationship with an absolutely vital part of his/her life.

Sit down and talk again.