I work with a man who's wife is filing for a divorce. He came back to work today, after being off, for about a week, due to the problems he and his wife, are having at home. They've been together for several year's, but married for about 2. They purchased a house, 5 month's ago,which seems like a waste now. He's 38 and she's 25, I often wonder if that played a factor, in their split, at least on her part anyway. It's horrible seeing him in so much pain and yet there's nothing I can do about it . He once told me that he knew her history of being wild, before he married her, I guess he was giving her the benefit of a doubt, when nobody else would, unfortunately, her infidelitie's, were more important to her, than her marriage. I don't want to say that's what he get's, because he's a very good man, that was deceived by a wicked woman, it's so sad. I don't understand it. The sad thing is, he is still in love with his wife, the good thing is, they never had any children together.
2006-11-17 18:49:35 · 18 answers · asked by A_WWE_FAN_4LYFE 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm on my 3rd marriage. My first wife was 4 yrs. younger than me, and she cheated on me! My second wife was 7 yrs. younger than me, and she cheated on me! My wife now is wonderful, and worships the ground I walk on as I do her, and she's 17 yrs. younger than me. I don't think the age difference means anything, and neither does my wife! A lot of people this day and age, and this is sad to say, just don't have any morals anymore! And unfortunately somebody gets hurt! He can be thankful he doesn't have children!
He should cut his losses and move on!
2006-11-17 19:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by pete 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to be funny but you seem to have a lot of information when it comes to this man. Tell him to make sure he gets some legal advice and seek some counseling because going through a divorce can be a very stressful thing. I know because I am in the middle of one now. Tell him to go to a gym or exercise because that can help with the stress. Finally, don't get drawn into this man's situation. Sometimes watching someone go through a divorce can be like "reality tv". It is OK to give advice, but don't be his crutch. He might think that you are going to be more than a friend to him so thus he can confide in you. So be careful and don't give the wrong impression. Make sure he understands that you are talking to him as a friend and nothing more (unless you want to be him in that way). He has enough to deal with at this time.
2006-11-17 19:12:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Short Answer: Be there for him
I don't care if the dude says that he wants to sit at home alone. Show up at his house anyway! If you truely care, you gotta be there to listen to him spill his heart. If he doesn't want to talk, set there quietly with him. If he wants to talk about football or whatever he has interest in, be there to listen to him.
If and when he does talk, just listen and console him. Don't bad mouth her, tell him that he should just get over it or it isn't that bad. Although you are right, care and are coming from the right place, it will, and I know this is hard to believe, further his belief that you have no idea the h*'' he is going through and, thus, are discounting his feelings. Trust me!
Hear me out! Although my ex wife and I were the same age, we had been together forever and didn't have any kids, but she left and cheated also. I was still in love with her. Heck, I still have love for her and always will. Either way, the situation is horrible. TRUST ME! I have went through h*ll.
Two weeks to the day that she left me was a Saturday. Around 8 in the evening, 1 of my friends wives called me to see what I was doing that night and how I was. I thought I had put on a "phone" acting performance of a life time. I told her I was doing great, going out that night, etc. However, she knows me like a sister and saw right through it. About 10 that night, her husband, one of my best friends, and another guy, also one of my best friends, showed up at my house with a bunch of beer and a couple bottles of scotch, and requested that we all sit on my front porch, smoke, drink and that I play the guitar, which I love to do. Long story short, we smoked, drank, I played, we sang and got loose till the sun came up just like we did whenever we were in highschool. The truth of it is...I don't know if I would have made it through that night alone. You know, we never really talked about what my wife did to me that night. It was different.
Obviously, I am not saying that scotch, whiskey, whatever is the way to get over anything. I'm just saying that friends being friends is what a man needs.
Just be there!
Stay Up Playa!
2006-11-17 19:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by Cing 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a nasty one. I don't think age has much to do with it. My wife is quite a bit younger than me but having said that if she had a wild sexual side to her and it looks like she was about 20 when they got together she may have no interest in settling down at all. The best thing I can say is try to console him. Make sure he has your e-mail so that he can vent his frustration and have someone to talk to. Sometimes in a divorced friends disappear... because his friends are they? So it's best to make sure he understands he is someone that will stick by his side.
Mark
Author
GirlsTelAll
2006-11-17 19:00:23 · answer #4 · answered by GirlsTellAll.com 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would probably be good for him if you would call him often, and ask him if he's ok. That's simple, but I bet it would make him feel really good. When you're going through a divorce, it's hard because you're going through the shock of not having that same person you have always had there, so that on top of not having anyone there can be especially lonely for people going through a divorce.
2006-11-17 19:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Survivor 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do for him is to just be a good friend & be there for support. And to listen to what he has on his mind so that he's not sitting around having all his thoughts on her & the way their relationship was. Be supportive & just listen. Then maybe in the near future take him out with some collegues & just have a night out on the town doing whatever he chooses. Take care
2006-11-17 18:57:52 · answer #6 · answered by lori 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can be a good friend.
To lessen the stress he should not have yeast bread or beer and can take Olive Leaf, as that will kill the yeast fungus, which can depress the brain.
Evening Primrose oil and Fish oil helps too.
2006-11-17 18:55:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I feel sorry for the poor guy. Seems like things would get worse if he doesn't lose feelings for his wife. It's hardest thing to let go someone you love, but he has no option.
2006-11-17 18:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think you should definately invite him over and ask him if he wants to play "ice cream sundae" Nothing is better for a jilted man than seeing a woman covered in chocolate.
2006-11-17 18:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by tallcowboy0614 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
best to stay out of it try and take his mind off it like go to some thing he enjoys, however be careful as if you were to give opinions about his wife he might get defensive and lash out at u.
also be aware that if u spend a amount of time with him he might get attached to u and that might start problems if u dont like him romantically.
2006-11-17 18:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by aime 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋