My friend called me tonight and said she thinks her soon to be ex-husband has been molesting one of their 5 year old daughters. She's tried counseling for the little girl...and the rest of the family. All signals are pointing in that direction, but the little girl hasn't actually come out and said anything happened. My friend feels like she doesn't have a leg to stand on and isn't sure what next step to take. He has moved out of the house and is not allowed to see the kids without supervision. Help!!! What should she do? How can she get her daughter to open up? She said she's not much into role-playing...but does like computers/tv. Is there a video or software out there that would help. Please serious answers only!!!
2006-11-17 18:13:33 · 14 answers · asked by 2Good4U 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
PS - She did check into bringing her for an examination. Her counselor told her that it is so invasive and would traumatize her even more. What to do?
2006-11-17 18:20:02 · update #1
My friend has about 2 years of notes of things that just don't add up. One daughter was crushed when her daddy moved out. The daughter in question was overjoyed and said she is afraid of him, especially when he plays "monster" with her. She has done things at school that I just can't get into here. She has been to psychologists, pscychiatrists, counselors at school who have monitored her and continue to monitor her, and feel that something has happened to her. However, the only missing piece is "she hasn't admitted it yet". Believe me, this is a shock to me too. I have known my friend for 25 years and have been friends with her husband since they met in the late 80's. They are the godparents of my 2nd child, who is now 7 months old. I am crushed....and will support my friend and her daughters in whatever way I can.
2006-11-17 18:30:16 · update #2
I just found out 5 months ago that my 4 year old daughter was being molested my my ex husbands dad. I knew also that something might be happening but also in my case she wouldnt open up. So we played the " truth game" Where we started asking questions easy ones at first like " have you ever ate dirt" then came the clincher I asked her if she had ever touched or someone else ever touched her private parts and it all came out. I called the cops and I am glad to say I go to court on the 11th to watch him get sentenced to life in prison. ( he plead guilty) Tell her to be patient, it took me a year to get the info out of my daughter, you just have to keep on it. Good luck!
2006-11-17 18:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by lilmissnacole 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
This is a VERY serious accusation.
If true, it is grave criminal behavior on the part of her husband, and despicable (and he should go to h***).
If not true, it is gravely irresponsible (at best) on the part of your friend, and despicable.
Without knowing the details, no-one here can offer advice or draw any conclusions as to which of the above scenarios is more likely. Your friend needs a variety of professional advisors.
At a time when she is going through a divorce, she needs emotional support from you.
Every moral, sentient human being will want to protect the 5-yo child. But just a caution, since you offer virtually no substantiating details: if the father is in fact innocent then protecting the child means proving his innocence. Many real cases of child-abuse go unreported; many reports of child-abuse are false. Here is one story just to make people think: http://www.copss.org/sd/arner.html
I am not suggesting this is the case with your friend. All I am saying is there is no evidence on which to base any decision. You need to take a deep breath. You should support your friend emotionally, and encourage her to seek professional help (for the child, protective services, legal, etc.), but not yet take sides regarding the guilt or innocence of the father. For the daughter's sake.
2006-11-17 18:24:37 · answer #2 · answered by k2j2unk 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think what first need to happen is for her to stop taking her to all of these doctors. she needs to find someone that specializes in this kind of thing. when the little girl feels comfortable with whom ever this doctor is she may begin to open up. now the big problem is that she will be spending time with him alone.i think that your friend should go to child protective service and explain things bring in any thing that she has to support what everyone suspects, and ask if they can make it so that there is visitation that is supervised. until the little girl is able to tell what happened.if they can not help her then maybe she can be directed to someone who can.
2006-11-18 03:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do no longer count quantity your chickens until they have hatched. specific, Gush Etzion will possibly no longer be evacuated in an rather final contract deal (even although Carter probable wasn't bearing on all of the settlements there). yet that does no longer mean the land it occupies wont be taken from someplace else. If the golf green line has to contract in some places then it particularly is in all threat to escalate in distinctive places. As for the settlements that are 30 km from the line, nicely, they wont final.
2016-10-22 07:14:31 · answer #4 · answered by freudenburg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every child and every situation is different. The best person to help is going to be a child phycologist who is professionally trained to handle something like that. And even then there is no way to know a definate time frame on a breakthrough for the child. All you and everyone around her can do is get her help and give her love.
2006-11-17 18:22:25 · answer #5 · answered by rdrunner 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
maybe continue to see counsellers etc and she may open up to them. I know your friend thinks he has done something but there is a possibility that he hasn't and please don't force the child the say something because you believe it is true, just continue with the treatment and the truth will come out eventually.
2006-11-17 23:04:25 · answer #6 · answered by nik 28 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you say she 'thinks' he may have molested the child? she had better be absolutely sure before she goes ahead with this. it's not going to be pleasant for anyone involved. it's unlikely she will disclose anything to her mother, she needs to be seen by a paediatrician and have an assessment done asap. the child will be questioned by a counsellor, but because of her age, it will be difficult to press charges. i would say there are books and videos available to her as well
2006-11-17 18:20:38 · answer #7 · answered by leolady0765 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont know of any.. God help her! maybe she can get her daughter to draw figures of her family online in "paint" or something.. I know some doctors use coloring as a way to get the child to open up..
2006-11-17 18:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by Mintee 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
If she's divorcing, then she has a lawyer. He has experience handling such issues.
Just don't bait the little girls answers.
2006-11-17 18:18:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she should have her daughter thoroughly examined by a doctor that specializes in children that are sexually assaulted as there can be physical signs of it.
2006-11-17 18:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋